All times are GMT

Forum Home / Forum posts by Mark

55 Pages - «« « 27 28 [29] 30 31 » »»
From General Discussion / Are the Spoof headlines 'stuck'?
Posted 14 Apr 09 16:46
Ah right, I see what's going on...or at least I hope I do...

Thanks for the heads-up.

From General Discussion / Are the Spoof headlines 'stuck'?
Posted 14 Apr 09 16:30
Why, what's wrong with it?

From News Discussion / Monkey Woods is called bigot by Jade Goody's Ghost
Posted 6 Apr 09 22:15
Look out Monkey. Looks like you've got a fan!

From General Discussion / plentyoffish
Posted 6 Apr 09 15:26
It probably does do some locality checking based on your ISP.

My ISP's based in London, so I usually get London based content when I come across sites like these.

From News Discussion / G20 protestrrs fail to cause riot in London
Posted 1 Apr 09 20:16
First class - I love it.


From News Discussion / WellFit4Work Scheme Goes Ahead
Posted 1 Apr 09 14:01
Like it Roy. 5*

From General Discussion / Oh Dear....
Posted 1 Apr 09 13:54
The spoiled child will get his just desserts one day.

The lardies will just get their desserts.

The Simpsons

Mindy: Well, desserts aren't always right.
Homer: But they're so sweet and tasty.

From General Discussion / Oh Dear....
Posted 1 Apr 09 09:25

Quote: Monkey Woods

I don't know which one it was, but one of the daughters confessed on the radio that she was 24 stones.

Having seen her picture, it would certainly make more sense if that were the case.

Quote: Monkey Woods

Mars Bar Cakes!

Sickening. But I've been there before.

One thing I would like to eat is this.

One day, one day.

From General Discussion / Oh Dear....
Posted 1 Apr 09 08:57

Quote: Monkey Woods

well done to that fat lady for losing weight

I read the article again, I think it was the daddy who lost the 5 stone.

I found this breakdown of their weights: Philip Chawner, 53, and his 57-year-old wife Audrey weigh 24st. Their daughter Emma, 19, weighs 17st, while her older sister Samantha, 21, weighs 18st.

I don't really understand why they can't work. Well, maybe the parents is understandable, but there shouldn't be anything stopping the girls - and the dad doesn't look too out of shape to me.

Hey ho. Ain't nothin I can do about it.

From General Discussion / Oh Dear....
Posted 1 Apr 09 08:44

Quote: Monkey Woods

You fat fuck!

Get ready for some derision!

In the words of Eric Cartman: Suck my balls!

From General Discussion / Oh Dear....
Posted 1 Apr 09 08:41
How many kilograms (or pounds) equals a stone?

A stone is 6.4kg

(Quick tip: Google will do these translations for you. Enter: x y to z and it'll give you the answer.

Where x is a number, y is a unit of measurement to convert from and z is a unit of measurement to convert to.)

From News Discussion / IRA Terrorist Group Shaft Police
Posted 1 Apr 09 08:33

From General Discussion / Oh Dear....
Posted 1 Apr 09 08:12
I do think it seems a little unfair they are treated so badly. Their obesity is obviously debilitating, and regardless of whose fault that is, they shouldn't be derided for it.

I don't believe their claims that their obesity is genetic, simply because it has not been proven scientifically, and because I know how easy it is to become overweight - and con yourself into think it's not because you're troughing your face.

I'm a big bloke. I weighed over 19 stone (266lbs 120kg) in September last year. That wasn't genetic, it was pies. I'm not sure what kickstarted my impulse to lose weight, but I decided it was necessary to change or else I would end up a real lardass (not that I wasn't one already!)

I now weigh 16 stone (224lbs 101kg), but I'm still a long way off my "ideal" weight which, according to BMI wotnots, is 11 stone (154lbs 70kg).

I got stuck in the belief that my weight wasn't due to what I was eating. "I don't eat breakfast, I rarely eat lunch," was my usual thought pattern. But I'd come home and have dinner, followed by chocolate biscuits, followed by crisps, followed by chocolate, followed by cheese, followed by ... - I was simply lying to myself.

I read in the article that the mother has lost 5 stone - which is really admirable and surely shows her weight is unlikely to be down to her genes. She got a real slap in the face from the newspaper stories which gave her the impetus to lose weight. I just hope she can see that and keep it up.

From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Mar 09 21:33
Sunlight unveils night, letting illumination grow hot tamales.

I started at the end and worked backwards with this one. Who knew it would work out as well as it did.

From General Discussion / This makes sense...Sorta!
Posted 28 Mar 09 08:40

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra
"Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?"
"I can cut them for you," said Dan the pharmacist,
"but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. '
"I am 96" said the old man, "I don't want an erection.
I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my

I guess you all missed this then

It's completely identical.

Either Buck is MsTerri or you both get your jokes from the same place.

From News Discussion / Woolworths to open again!
Posted 24 Mar 09 19:25
What's weird is I know two people who've started knitting recently.

From News Discussion / George Clooney Caught Stroking Angelina Jolie's Pussy - Brad Pitt Said To Be Furious
Posted 24 Mar 09 19:11
And you spotted the other misspelling too

Good job.

It's a lot edgier without the innuendo though.

From News Discussion / George Clooney Caught Stroking Angelina Jolie's Pussy - Brad Pitt Said To Be Furious
Posted 24 Mar 09 19:01
Well spotted.

I'm usually reliable when it comes to spotting mistakes like these.

I'd better go fix it.

From General Discussion / Popping Out!
Posted 24 Mar 09 13:15

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Mucky got banned because that's what he does......Get banned! In prior reincarnations he was Christopher Ashbey.

Unless you know something I don't, you're completely wrong.

He wasn't banned, he asked for his account to be deleted.

Having skim read the forums, it seems hard not to blame him for packing his bags.

From News Discussion / Jade Goody Jade Goody Jade Goody
Posted 21 Mar 09 15:34
An excellent piece. Sums up the situation brilliantly.

Suberb satire.

From News Discussion / BBC Cut Backs Hit Dr Who
Posted 20 Mar 09 08:11
I wonder if they'll rename it the 'Turdis'

From News Discussion / Fat Girl's Misleading Picture leads to Bar Fight
Posted 20 Mar 09 07:54
I think they keep it handy to wedge other things open too.

From News Discussion / All currencies 'to become worthless' : Reuters
Posted 19 Mar 09 16:57
Where does it say you wrote it?

From News Discussion / Jade Goody Critics in Nazi Shock
Posted 19 Mar 09 08:37
I think you may have got the wrong story, Skoob.

Your issue would have been better raised in the general discussion forum.

From News Discussion / Jade Goody Critics in Paris Hilton Death Plunge Horror
Posted 19 Mar 09 08:27
Nah, qm's stories are usually around 150 words

55 Pages - «« « 27 28 [29] 30 31 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Who is online?

There are no registered users currently online.

Profile Featured Writer

Paul Blake
Paul Blake
Joined: 15 November 2012
Stories Written: 117
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more