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How You Too Can Learn How To Pitifully Cry Like GOP Crybabies John "Granny Teardrops" Boehner and Glenn "Boo-Hoo" Beck

Two Books on Birth Control:

1. Do-It-Yourself Tubal Ligations In Only 7 Easy Lessons (Women).

2. Do-It-Yourself Vasectomies In Only 83 Easy Lessons (Men).

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Quote: Charpa93

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Quote: Abel Rodriguez

Putting snowballs in your underwear and then jumping up and down until they completely melt.

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This made me laugh.

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Thank you. My pleasure ma'am.

Putting snowballs in your underwear and then jumping up and down until they completely melt.

Snowboarding on a cow.

Overheard at an Oregon lumberjack convention:

One, Two, Tree, Four.

He has a sign out on the front lawn that reads:

"Please Do Not Pet The Boa Constrictor."

Lynton,

It simply amazes me how celebrities such as Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, and Charlie Sheen always seem to live their lives bordering on self-destruction.

Hasta La Mystery,
Abel

An Amy Winehouse Slippery Navel

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Quote: Lady Godiva

Muffies All You Can Eat Dive Through (Yes - I meant to type 'dive')

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One of the best 'Double Entendre' restaurants in the Western Hemisphere.

Well done, Lady G.

Hasta La Desert,
Abel

In San Francisco's Chinatown:

The One From Corumn A Chopstick Cafeteria

"Home of Recyled Fortune Cookies"

In Pelican Hooha, Louisiana:

The Damn Friggin Oil Slick Tar Balls Oyster Grill

"All of our meals come with an industrial sponge."
- Cal "The Cagy Cajun" Lafayette - Manager

In East Los Angeles:

The Illegal Papaya Piñata Hacienda

Captain Cluck Cluck's Poisoned Chicken Diner

The Red Glowing Lobster

Restaurants that you need to avoid:

Kentucky Refried Chicken

He replaced his pet parrot with a pet vulture.

The fish tank in his living room is filled with piranha's.

This is a little off the beaten path, but it does concern English accents.

I always found it interesting that great British bands like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, The Who, Led Zeppelin, The Animals, and countless others sang without their English accent, which was obvious once they started talking.

But I recall that there was only one British band (that came to America), whose singer sang the song lyrics with his English Accent...Peter Noome of Herman's Hermits.

Hasta La Rock 'n' Roll,
Abel

Holiday Gifts For Your Pet (or Animal):

• Quinton The Lonely San Diego Zoo Porcupine: A Three hour personal 'in cage' visit with Madonna.



• Penelope The Hungry Sea World Piranha: An upclose petting session from Naomi Campbell.



• Chomp Chomp The Bronx Zoo Cigar Eating Boa Constrictor: A shot at Rush Limbaugh's 'cee-gar.'

Hasta Las Presents,
Abel

New '7-11 Quick Mart' Wines Now Available:

Ripple Fa Shizzle Ma Nizzle

Hasta La Vino,
Abel

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Quote: armfeetandtoe

Thank you, everybody.

For making me feel so welcome, after a bit of time away.
The support and kindness I have recieved, is beyond words.

Your encouragement is a medicine that can not be purchased and the healing powers of your affection is priceless.


Thank you

Love Light & Peace

Arm xx

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Armfeetandtoe,

That is what The Spoof is all about...kind, caring, talented individuals with a fine sense of humor.

Hasta Later,
Abel

I know that you asked for no replies, but please forgive me because in times like these it really needs to be said.

Holiday Songs That Never Caught On...
Rudolph The Neutered Reindeer

Bureau I hope things are going well for you pal.

I really enjoy reading your "Question of The Day" segment.

Hasta La Fa La La La Laaaaa La La La Laaaaa,
Abel

"Shotgun" Sarah Palin has a bigger Taco Tickler than Jon Gosselin.

The Least Favorite Holiday Specials:

The Favorite Christmas Carols of Atilla The Hun.

Hasta La La La La Laaaaa, La La La La,
Abel