Discussion Forum

"In Texas, we not only have the Death Penalty, we use it! In fact, in Texas, if you are convicted of first degree murder using three credible witnesses, we will send you through the Express Line at Huntsville."

Ron White


Sounds as if y'all need a little Tejas Justice!

We're fine with a gennie running, hot water and heat. Full larder too, almost of Mormon proportions.

I posted three stories to whack Romney. They have NO DIRTY WORDS, charpacabra. For you!

Kisses to my Florida honey bunny and her old man (not in a gay way).

Frankie

In the last two weeks, different special interest groups in the US, have attempted to censor, or to remove completely from public view, Charles Shultz's Peanuts comic strip and have, successfully, removed all traces of Santa smoking a pipe, from the Christmas classic "A visit from St. Nicholas." or "The night before Xmas." Mark Twain was removed from schools last century. Librarians are amazed and so am I--and not a little frightened too.

Here, just south of PofM, we have 40" of fresh, wet snow and the leaves are still on the trees. Trees are falling everywhere and flooding next week may be the worse in the hollows and river bottoms since 1985.

Power is out throughout WV, VA, MY and DE and really bad in NYC and NJ. We have a gennie here and are warm, but God help the old folks in the cities that are very cold and without power.

If you can spare a few bucks, give to the Red Cross, Salvation Army or Mennonite Disaster Services. This storm is far worse than most can imagine because people think only of coastal areas being impacted--like Florida or, of course, New Orleans where thousands died. Unlike those areas, this disaster is so wide spread it may affect the economy of the entire region for many years to come.

Dear Spoof:

Just why would you claim to be a satire site when your writers write only truth? Are you having us on or what?

Sincerely,
Rand Paul

She is the union rep for my sisters, the Trolls, and skoob's wife as well, arm xxxxxx.

Choke all the fucking goldfish for all I care!

Todd Akin

Jefferson Davis

Tell us how you truly feel, arm!

Rush Limbaugh

A-Rod

Dear Spoof:

Have you an ornothologist writer on your staff? I have a plague of English Starlings sitting above my house. They are very bothersome and will not eat anything but buttered scones.

That costs me too much and I can no longer feed the darling Irish wrens. And if I don't feed the wrens they tend to build nests in my chimney that cause fires and explosions when their bird shit catches fire.

Is there someone over there in England responsible for returning illegal aliens to the UK? I called Arizona governor Jan Brewer to ask how to deal with these illegals and she said to blow my house up to deny them shelter. Well, it would do that, of course, but then I'd have to sleep in my car with all the other native songbirds.

So, do you have any advice?

Rex Baumgartner
Patriotic Saint of American Fork, Utah

As a photo editor, I fired guys who took shots upskirt of teens, or any other woman. It isn't cool. EVER, even when so-called celebrities create the shots as an under-age Miley Cyrus did on two occasions. Those were posed shots --but the photog should have been arrested.

Sorry, lads, but since Judy dumped me years ago, the last piece o' ass I had was when my finger tore through the toilte paper.

I can leave that!

Frankie

Ya know what, folks; I am very pleased to see such a serious discussion of this issue here where our readers can view it.

Satire does not have to be funny; we all know that. We have an obligation to satirize the behaviors of the well known, the also rans, and yes, Honey fucking Boo Boo. Sick behavior must be pointed out, whatever the cost to the sicko. Insofar as rapists and child molestors are concerned, I don't really give a shit about their rights, period.

This past week, Mark returned to me two stories that he noted were unsuitable for theSpoof.com. One was "in bad taste;" and one, he said "was defamatory." OK, I get it. But I'm going to keep writing them, and submitting them.

He publishes enough of my stories that I have no complaint when he decides not to publish one!

That said, I read many spoofs here in approval that cause me to cringe, or worse! But I do not disapprove them just because they do not suit my tastes. I never will.

Write your stories; I read them and judge them on the basis of whether or not I find them to ring true to the writer's intent. If you can pump smoke up my arse, do it, by all means.

BTW, I got one-thumbed twice yesterday. I find that just as rewarding as getting a 5er. Thanks to whomever it was.

Saw that video three days ago.

BTW, all my Illuminati stories are due to this guy Icke and the other stuff I've read since you guys started on JS.

Jimmy Savile... JS... Jerry Sandusky... JS... Sandusky is a Mason, BTW.

However, I loved Rowdy Roddy Piper in that flick!

Back to David Icke, though.

On page 10 of Jay Kinney's 2009 book "The Masonic Myth" is this passage:

"...the preoccupation with identifying ancient origins for Masonry takes a decidedly sinister turn in the elaborate conspiracy theories of David Icke. The charismatic Icke, whose past accomplishments include soccer announcer and UK Green Party spokesman, struck gold in New Age circles with a series of popular self-published books alleging tha the human race is unknowingly under the sway of shape-shifting reptilian aliens from another dimension.

"Icke identifies Freemasonry as a successor of an ancient Babylonian brotherhood (including the Illuminati?), wise men who originally sought to free human consciousness from energy-sucking reptilians. The Brotherhood's necessary use of secrecy became, over the centuries, corrupted into a form of manipulation and power control, leading the membership to (page 11) eventually sell out to the aliens. Material posted at Icke's website alleges that there are secret tunnels beneath every Masonic lodge to faclilitate reptilian reproduction."

It took a lot of effort for me to get this out of print book, but reading it floored me. Icke also claims the Illuminati are the New World Order, but then again, a lot of sane people believe that. I'm assuming Icke means the Bavarian Illuminati and not Rihanna and her ilk.

Reptilian aliens aside, though, there are some whacked out secret societies that sprang up in the UK. The Hellfire Club, for one. Modern Freemasonry began in London when, in 1717, four lodges joined to form the Grand Lodge. But whacked out Masons?

I don't think most are so. My Uncle Kyle is a Mason and he has only been whacked out on booze to my knowledge. Plus, he's scared shitless of lizards.

But there are some Masons (P-2) who are scary as hell. Who knows what those freak shows show?

Arm,

Your point is well taken, but all the same, if the UK had 325 million people (legals), its crime rate, including serial murder, rape and child molestation would most likely be similar. Our two nations are quite alike. Sorry, but that is true.

The US is no slouch when it comes to locking up bad people. The fact is (according to DOJ) there are nine (9) violent serials out there for every one (1) known.

The UK is compact. The US is vast and has 21,000 political jusrisdictions that should, but don't comminicate well, even across county boundaries. Fifty states, seven territories, nine "zones" of influence, 9 time zones. It is huge. And we carry guns, yet violent crime is down, including murder, rape, abduction, assault and, yes, child molestations (at least what we know about, and we are looking).

You had Savile; we have Sandusky. Both monsters who should've been shot.

Skoob, I'm a Catholic too. And I take them to task all of the time for their short comings and crimes against children. You seem to think I was making light of this horror; if so, you were wrong.

There is a certain dislocation of basic morality in the entire world today that transcends politico-religious boundaries. Skoob, you see me take it on, without mercy, everyday on other web sites. I find nothing funny about any of this.

And yet, none of this answers the question I asked earlier: What is all the lizard people stuff, and the Masonic-Illuminati stuff about JS? I didn't make this up, and just reread it again. Am I to assume this is real?

My Lord, friends, the man was a monster, but what is real? What do you believe? I trust your judgement implicitly, so tell me.

And I did say our press is nothing to hold up as a shining light.

Get rest, skoob. You've carried a heavy load of late.

I must have read 20 spoofs on JS in approval. Then I googled the guy and read everything I could get. Next I put him into a search engine at work and read all of that. If everything I've read about him is true, he was worse than pond scum.

Now, I also read your lizard man stuff (above), and fed it into the search engine at work (a state law enforcement engine). I found, believe it or not, references linking Saville to the Free Masons, the friggin Illuminati, reptile-like alien beings hidden for centuries by both, and a shit load more totally off the wall stuff.

Are you guys telling me that there is a basis for this off-the-wall stuff?

British scandals are meat and potatoes for your broad sheets. I remember when Christine Keeler brought down John Profumo and Harold MacMillan's government, and how that scandal was hidden all the way up through the BBC to Buckingham Palace. Looks to me like nothing much has changed.

I gotta tell you, a government run press has obvious draw backs--not that the US press is anything to brag about anymore.

You Brits have it all over us colonials when it comes to cover-ups. All we can boast of is Richard Nixon, and the current Zumba scandal that has a bunch of Kennebunk guys in real hot water.

It interests me, this stuff, and it has opened my eyes to some wacky stuff.

Thanks.

Shit's sake, I thought this was a thread about wuminsess.

He was shot down by AZ Gov Jan Brewer and forced to bail out. I just read the breaking story!

Nope, was with you all the time. Just invisible since I had a run in with a troll. I've got your six, but then, that should be a worry now and again.

"Spankurbation" (n)

The act of simulatneously spanking one's monkey while tossing off (OK, it is a stretch).

He was killed while spankurbating. Actually, the coroner said he was "Carradineing."

Bonus word:

"Carradineing" (v) above.

This is not the acronym game, so don't use those submissions.

RULES

Your word must be original to you and never used in any dictionary.

You need not get too technical regarding its part of speech (noun, verb, etc). If you know the part of speech add it though.

You must use your word in a sentence. Extra points will be awarded (by whom I don't know) for use of your word in one of your spoofs.


I'll begin; my word is:



Dipshittery is any word, or any part of a speech, issuing from the mouth of a politician.

"Romney's speech was complete and utter dipshittery."

"Obama's fiscal policy is dipshittery of the highest order.

I used my word in today's "My life as a man #19.

The geese fly southward
But I am condmened to watch,
And clean up their shit.

Zero point home loans
Are products of Fanny Mae.
I qualified not.