Discussion Forum

If Noah took two of every species aboard the ark, including dinosaurs (as the Creation Museum in Kentucky says he did--of course say they, they were baby dinos) when and why did the beasts die out?

This thread is dedicated to questions that have no good answers.

The best answer is always the best answer, and I hope that the learned writers here on theSpoof.com will share their knowledge with us.

Answer seekers should ask their question and the answers, from ever how many answerneers there are, should be on separate pages.

My question, in the title, deserves an answer:

Why do they build the shore so near the ocean?.

I wrote about this guy in my life: Peter D. Beter.

Debbie,

You got any nekkid pictures of yerself?

Burning ants with a magnifying glass on a bright summer's day.

What, you don't do that too?

Ellie,

We don't care if you talk like sue Ellen; all we wanna know is if you're as hot as Sue Ellen.

Just saying...

Title pretty much spells it out, huh.

How do they get John Cleese to look so young in "Faulty Towers"? I thought he was in his 80's!

I can hardly wait for next season.

Tonight I'll settle back with some Jameson and watch my favorite British comedy, "Are you being served."

I hope it isn't a rerun.

Ain't Guinnie beer neither. It's actually a red beer.

BTW, my favorite beer, which I can rarely afford, is Grolsch (sic).

And, for the record, I wouldn't drink Buttwiper Beer on a bet! My hangout sells local, micro brews of which I think you Brits would approve. Most of it is made from cracked barley, mostly horse feeds with a molasses coating. Dark, dark brown stuff with just enough hops to make it smell like skunk piss.

And I'll have a damned story anyway. It'll be about two British guys, one in the US and one in the UK, who use me to allow the two of them to exhange such pleasantries as: "You sir, are a neo-scouser."

Well thank you very much you religious rodent, but as I said on another thread: I only drink a cerain dark, Irish beer!

Dear Spoof:

As a paying customer, I take offense at the fucking language on the above thread. You should all learn to speak your own fucking language without resorting to obsenities thrown about like uncooked linguine to see if it sticks to the fucking wall.

Father Francois Dubois, S.J.

What in the Sam-halibut are you droning on about you two?

The only possible reason I might not win this writing comp is because you folks are too cheap to pay my airfare to London and stand me a few rounds!

Cadburrrryyy, no doubt about it!

You have Borvil. We have Cheerwine!

Dear spoof:

Please forward this message to Clive Danton.

You should be nicer to bums, Clivey.

They are just attempting to get what you have. I pass a dozen a day on my way to work. Most promise to work for food.

I don't know what kind of work bums do, but there are so many of them out of work. We must do something!

Sincerely,

Deeply disturbed bum advocate

Honey Boo Boo's mother

You didn't love me, goddammit!

I do not give good job references to toddlers I hire who smoke pipes. How do I know what is in that pipe?

EIF:

There was the economist Paul Simon who lived in NYC. But his school had no yard and he had no Friends with more than two silly-bills in their names.

Donald Trump

PofM:

Wish I could draw an asshole as good as Kurt could!

Another book you won't find on school library shelves in WV:

"The Communist Manifesto"

Oddly enough, "Mein Kamp" is sitting fat and sassy in the bio section.

The US election today will tell us who will be President for the next four years. That is all well and good for the billion bucks they spent for a couple millions in salary.

This poll is far more important to guys like me, Clivey and Inchcock:

Do men who wear hairpeices (toupes) really think we think they think we think they really have hair?

Waddn't Harald killed in 1066?

August 3, 2012:

Texas high school library told to remove Tom Wolfe's "The Right Stuff" (a book about the Mercury Seven Astronauts) due to sexul content (Chippies made a point to fuck each of the seven and did get all but Glenn and Carpenter).

Maybe Ellie has more info, but I got mine from a library review.

I've had the same thing happen to me on the Huff, Clivey.

My remarks about the asswipe senate candidate in Washington state who said, and I quote, "When a woman gets pregnant after the rape thing, it is a gift from God, and becoming pregnant after incest is such a rare thing, because incest is such a rare thing," I got scores of likes.

When I said honey Boo Boo was obese and being abused by her stage mother who is allowing and promoting her weight gain, I got nothing.