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From General Discussion / Why do they build the shore so near the ocean?
Posted 1 Dec 12 14:57
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If you have both of your feet, does that mean you are undefeated?

 
From Magazine Discussion / My life as a man #35
Posted 1 Dec 12 14:51
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Holy fucking shit! Why isn't anybody writing about me, for God's sake? I have all kinds of thoughts and ideas. Some of them even make sense when I'm sober.

 
From News Discussion / Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL
Posted 1 Dec 12 13:12
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Men in dresses.

 
From General Discussion / Great Sporting Obscenities
Posted 30 Nov 12 21:08
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Indeed Hearns and Haggler's battle was epic. But in the wake of the loss of Hector Camacho this week, the fight where he threw six consecutive uppercuts to floor Ray Leonard, then hit him with another to overwhelm him was incredible.

Sure, Leonard was 40--but Hector also gave us "No mas!" against Roberto Duran, who I thought was a better hitter than Leonard.

Remember that fight?

But of all the epic fights (Balboa notwithstanding) those of Ali vs. Frazier were the very best I ever saw.

As for pure, unadulterated legal mayhem & terror: Mike Tyson! No doubt about it.

 
From General Discussion / Dear Spoof
Posted 30 Nov 12 17:25
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Dear Spoof:

Is there a dermatologist writing on your site? I have a large, red rash on my gonads. Have you any idea what it may be?

Kenaya East

 
From General Discussion / Great Sporting Obscenities
Posted 30 Nov 12 16:27
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I too was a practitioner of the Sweet Science back in the ought-60's. I boxed in the Golden Gloves to impress my father. He wasn't awed, but happy I had it in me.

I won the 165# class in Charleston and was, fortunate enough to escape the state championship by getting kicked out of Mt. Vernon Nazarene College for drinking--and getting caught drunk in the Mr. Vernon, Ohio Hospital Parking lot by the College President.

In the Navy, I got an R&R pass to fight an Aussie sailor in a three-round smoker in Sydney. I whupped his blonde ass around the ring for twenty-seven seconds. Then he Waltz my Matilda for the remaining 4,337 seconds of the fight. I didn't realize a 270 second fight lasted nearly 4,378 hours!

He felt so badly about beating me savagely that he took me home with him to his "ranch" that was ten times the size of Florida, and just as hot.

But I got even with him: I screwed his 16-year-old sister silly.

Boxing is not a sport for cricket players used to running back and forth, back and forth. He'll have no bat thingy to use on this kid's head.

Personally, I like celebrity death match much more. It's on YouTube.

 
From General Discussion / Life's Great Pleasures
Posted 30 Nov 12 14:04
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Debbie,

So you won't want to be buying any of the new nekkid pix of yerself that my spy satellite got Monday morning, huh?

Anybody else want a few choice ones of Debbie trying to get to the privy?

Right then, Debbie, we here in the states wear what's called a "Union suit." Mine are bright red and International Orange, so's when I got to take a dump in the woods, the hunters won't shoot me in my ass.

Union suits have either button flaps on the back, or a slit in the back large enough for the most ample arse. You can find them in most any outdoor catalogue.

 
From News Discussion / Unstoppable computer virus "Clivey Dee" will strike Xmas Eve!
Posted 30 Nov 12 13:57
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This is my entry into Clive's Xmas compo. I have absolutely no idea how to make a link where it's supposed to go on Clive's compo thread. I'll probably lose this comp too for want of linking it in the right place. So Ill inflict upon you here.

 
From News Discussion / Texas vet says DNA proves Bigfoot is part human, 'At least his penis is'
Posted 29 Nov 12 21:51
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I love sciencesence.

 
From General Discussion / The Naughty Naked Nude Thread.
Posted 29 Nov 12 00:46
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We get nekkid here! A turkey's head and legs are naked. As for nude, well we have Nude Gingrich.


 
From General Discussion / Why do they build the shore so near the ocean?
Posted 28 Nov 12 22:05
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If Noah took two of every species aboard the ark, including dinosaurs (as the Creation Museum in Kentucky says he did--of course say they, they were baby dinos) when and why did the beasts die out?

 
From General Discussion / Why do they build the shore so near the ocean?
Posted 28 Nov 12 12:50
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This thread is dedicated to questions that have no good answers.

The best answer is always the best answer, and I hope that the learned writers here on theSpoof.com will share their knowledge with us.

Answer seekers should ask their question and the answers, from ever how many answerneers there are, should be on separate pages.

My question, in the title, deserves an answer:

Why do they build the shore so near the ocean?.


 
From News Discussion / Jesus wept: 'Obama is our Lord and Savior, and then some' says Jamie Foxx
Posted 28 Nov 12 09:47
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Praise the Lawd!

 
From General Discussion / People Who Should Seriously Consider Changing Their Name By Deed Poll
Posted 28 Nov 12 05:20
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I wrote about this guy in my life: Peter D. Beter.

 
From General Discussion / Life's Great Pleasures
Posted 27 Nov 12 22:35
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Debbie,

You got any nekkid pictures of yerself?

 
From Magazine Discussion / My life as a man #30
Posted 27 Nov 12 12:38
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Monkey,'

That was close enough for a 5er from me! Thanks for sharing it with me! You may enjoy a couple of the paragraphs in #33.

Frankie

 
From General Discussion / Life's Great Pleasures
Posted 27 Nov 12 02:21
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Burning ants with a magnifying glass on a bright summer's day.

What, you don't do that too?

 
From News Discussion / Candles ignite stripper's fart: explosion injures 20 Shriners in Massachusetts!
Posted 26 Nov 12 00:41
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Sometimes I cain't hep mysef; I just cain't!

 
From General Discussion / Who Gave JR A Break, Allowing Him To Die Of Natural Causes?
Posted 25 Nov 12 17:39
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Ellie,

We don't care if you talk like sue Ellen; all we wanna know is if you're as hot as Sue Ellen.

Just saying...

 
From General Discussion / Prison bitches of the world, Unite!
Posted 24 Nov 12 22:11
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Title pretty much spells it out, huh.

 
From News Discussion / "Dirty Jobs" cancelled but Mike Rowe's new series "Dirty Girls" begins Jan on Discovery
Posted 24 Nov 12 15:37
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This guy and his show "Dirty Jobs" was my absolute favorite on the Discovery Channel. But he recently did a show called "How Booze Built America" that was flawless and funnier than anything I've seen as a historian.

What is even funnier was the reaction of the right wing Evangelicals! I believe no fewer than 5,003,721 died from cerebral hemmies after the first one!

 
From News Discussion / Mechanic Claims To Have Seen The Face Of Christ On Apprentice's Buttocks
Posted 23 Nov 12 19:12
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That beats Romney's face on a urinal mint any damned day. Also gives stigmata a whole new face, doncha think.

FIVE BIGUNS from your America fan, Clivey, and I shared it on my FB page. That ought to just about finish my association with my old fans from the days when I wrote dating advice on a Christian magazine.

Snerk!

 
From General Discussion / TV Choice.
Posted 23 Nov 12 16:58
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How do they get John Cleese to look so young in "Faulty Towers"? I thought he was in his 80's!

I can hardly wait for next season.

 
From News Discussion / Sarah Palin to host TLC's 'Hunting from Hueys' in January
Posted 23 Nov 12 15:16
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I couldn't hep m'sef!

 
From General Discussion / TV Choice.
Posted 22 Nov 12 22:34
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Tonight I'll settle back with some Jameson and watch my favorite British comedy, "Are you being served."

I hope it isn't a rerun.

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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