Discussion Forum

That is what is going on here. You know it; I know it; Mark knows it; and the readers sure as shit know it too. More than two months if this constant bullshit barking at one another has done absolutely nothing to improve things here.

Good writers who cared more about this site--and who did more for this site than all of the bitchers combined--have stopped writing and the reason is that a cadre of banty hens and a few broken cocks have climbed all the way to the top of the dunghill and now crow about and preen as if they've won a great victory.

You have won a pile of shit you dumb-asses. Enjoy the perch till the land owner plows it under and gets some new blood. Every other comedy and satire site on the web laughs at this place and with good fucking reason.

And don't give me any more of that bogus bullshit about not writing anything since December. When people start caring about this place again--and it becomes a fun place to come and share again--a lot of people will start writing again. Till then crow and pile the shit you're standing on in pretty hills.

This is all very exciting! Since the PC (post Clivey) era began in December, the forums have been about as entertaining as a Walton's rerun festival.

If you folks would put all of this passion into writing entertaining stories, well...

Clivey... did you one-thumb QM in black-face? Cuz that would be bad.

Sort what out, exactly? Maybe the reader didn't like your stories. I used to get one thumbed a lot; so what?

And as for making this a fun place again, that is simple enough: write funny stuff again.

Skoob,

I take what you just said as a personal attack. I'm going to have the gang of whores beat you up.

Vote for one entry only

"SSHite is as SSHite does."
Forest Gump

As SSHite Prelate I wish add my Christmas greetings to those of my fellow uncircumscribed Philistines herein gathered on these sunny beaches.

We gathered today for Xmas Mass, 12 apostles and the One True Lord of SSHite, whose name may not be spoken.

Tho there are at least four queens here (maybe six), we have no mudder, yet we are not bereft of succor. So long as the SSHite lasts, we will endeavor to persevere.

Abba, dabba, fucking doobie, doobie doo. Don't bogart that pun my son, pass it over to me.

Dear Spoof:

I had virtual sex with four of your writers about two weeks ago, and I am writing to warn the rest of you to avoid intercourse with them.

I admit I was willing to go toes up for them, but I did not realize that they would go behind my back (well I allowed that too) and tell the headmaster that I was a slut and all.

Well, that was bad enough, but I seem to have contracted some type of disease that makes my balls itch and burn constantly.

Beware.

Dom Perigrine

Dear Spoof:

If the Gang of Whores has any to spare, they might donate theirs to the Sanitary Commission at 6 Broad Street, Dunbar.

I hope you catch crotch rot you ole sot.

Back in the day, there was a "band" named the Fugs. Their biggest hit was "I feel like homemade shit."

I bought that album and played it on air at my radidio station Dubya Tea Arf Arf in central Floridia.

Got into big trouble with the EffSee of See too.

But that was nothing like when I got rode out of Salt Lake City on a rail after telling my listeners that Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were child molestersesess.

Some people have no sense of humor.

Debbie Darling
c/o The Spoof.com

Dear Debbie,

If that skirt was any shorter, you'd have to buy a hair net.

Regards,
Jes Hewit

P.S. I'm outta here and hereby secede from this union. Give all my points to some soul that covets them.

I played John Proctor in that show.

"Who is John Proctor? WHO IS JOHN PROCTOR!"

Then the bastards hanged me.

(The critics too.)

1 out of 10 Jesuits wish they were Dominicans.

6 out of 10 Jesuits wish they were Jimmy Swaggart

7 out of 10 Jesuits believe Pope Bentdick is the anti-Christ.

9 out of 10 Jesuits wish they were women.

3 out of 10 Jesuits have dated Debbie.

Source:

---

Jesuit secrets revealed by Fr. Francois Dubois, SJ.
(available exclusively through Good News for Modern Jesuits Publishing House, Convent of the Queer, WV.)

All I know is what I read in the papers.

To wit:

"The ladder trucks were necessary because five of the victims had been blown through the VFW Hall roof and onto grain silos two blocks away," said a British tourist, Valdo Armfeetandtoe, who was visiting Cowpath's famous "Little Cow Patty House on the Prairie," the historic home of novelist Laura Ingles.

"The explosion knocked me wonky," said Armfeetandtoe.

(1) His first name is Valdo.

(2) He was in Cowpath, Iowa Sunday and witnessed a Santaxplosion.

Beutifeel writing Clive. Have you ever thought of doing any writing?

Snerck!

And speaking of our dear departed Macho Camacho, his two sisters and "current" girlfriend got into a brawl at his wake in San Jose! A birch-slapping, food throwing, hair pulling two on one that the cops had to break up.

Round two will happen in New Yawk City at his second wake.

Heavy weight boxing has never had the speed (well, maybe Ali did at one time) of the welter weight division. for pure speed, those fly weights are worth every penny.

Who was the greatest? I saw Liston fight Clay on TV. Piece of shit fight. I watched Ali get his ass beaten and his jaw broken by Leon Spinks in San Diego (a hell of a fight).

I was ringside when Floyd Merriweather took his first title. He was one of the best and I think the match of any fighter near that class, Sugar Ray Leonard couldn't have taken one of his right uppercuts and not have "break danced."

My dad said Sugar Ray Robinson was the best "pound for pound" that ever lived.

I think Sugar Ray Robinson vs. Jake Lamotta was the very best fight I ever watched (on tape, I'm not quite that old).

I have serious doubts that any heavy weight could go 15 rounds anymore.

If you have both of your feet, does that mean you are undefeated?

Indeed Hearns and Haggler's battle was epic. But in the wake of the loss of Hector Camacho this week, the fight where he threw six consecutive uppercuts to floor Ray Leonard, then hit him with another to overwhelm him was incredible.

Sure, Leonard was 40--but Hector also gave us "No mas!" against Roberto Duran, who I thought was a better hitter than Leonard.

Remember that fight?

But of all the epic fights (Balboa notwithstanding) those of Ali vs. Frazier were the very best I ever saw.

As for pure, unadulterated legal mayhem & terror: Mike Tyson! No doubt about it.

Dear Spoof:

Is there a dermatologist writing on your site? I have a large, red rash on my gonads. Have you any idea what it may be?

Kenaya East

I too was a practitioner of the Sweet Science back in the ought-60's. I boxed in the Golden Gloves to impress my father. He wasn't awed, but happy I had it in me.

I won the 165# class in Charleston and was, fortunate enough to escape the state championship by getting kicked out of Mt. Vernon Nazarene College for drinking--and getting caught drunk in the Mr. Vernon, Ohio Hospital Parking lot by the College President.

In the Navy, I got an R&R pass to fight an Aussie sailor in a three-round smoker in Sydney. I whupped his blonde ass around the ring for twenty-seven seconds. Then he Waltz my Matilda for the remaining 4,337 seconds of the fight. I didn't realize a 270 second fight lasted nearly 4,378 hours!

He felt so badly about beating me savagely that he took me home with him to his "ranch" that was ten times the size of Florida, and just as hot.

But I got even with him: I screwed his 16-year-old sister silly.

Boxing is not a sport for cricket players used to running back and forth, back and forth. He'll have no bat thingy to use on this kid's head.

Personally, I like celebrity death match much more. It's on YouTube.

Debbie,

So you won't want to be buying any of the new nekkid pix of yerself that my spy satellite got Monday morning, huh?

Anybody else want a few choice ones of Debbie trying to get to the privy?

Right then, Debbie, we here in the states wear what's called a "Union suit." Mine are bright red and International Orange, so's when I got to take a dump in the woods, the hunters won't shoot me in my ass.

Union suits have either button flaps on the back, or a slit in the back large enough for the most ample arse. You can find them in most any outdoor catalogue.

We get nekkid here! A turkey's head and legs are naked. As for nude, well we have Nude Gingrich.