Discussion Forum

does my half an hour qualify me Ellie?

has one of those mature bints from the dating ads tied him up in her cellar again?

i had 2 days worth of diaries and snippets approved and auto-tweeted last night pinxit.

My pending box was looking like Heather Trotts shopping list in the Co-op.

QUOTE
for God's sake don't report live people as being dead. (Especially if they aren't. That's just nasty.)
UNQUOTE

Just to clear up any confusion this includes Kanye West and Jeff Goldblum.

Skoob is a great guy who carries off the wearing of a pork pie hat with panache - but not in a gay way.

Stand by your beds...

i love a good semi

Happy is the way i'm feeling and i know it comes from being with you.

Can someone lend armfeetandtoe a hand?

Clive makes em feel alive


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2117516/British-wives-driving-demand-extramarital-dating-websites.html

Music Jokes:

Cheeky Girls
Jedward
X Factor
Ken Lee
Stephen Hall (but he was in on the joke)

I tried taking my own tea into the local cinema but they don't like it.

Thanks for the praise sir. Very kind. The way footballs going, they'll all be picking the teams themselves when the Financial Fair play rule comes in.

If you do an article, you should have an honorary mention of the 'grandaddy of unsolicited mail' - the readers digest!

And something about the trees. It's the trees who suffer :-/

thought Avon might have rung the bell?

You could get a mag article out of this - the continual onslaught of unwanted junk mail. or something more catchy.

i missed murdoch being custard pied! but i'm sure ellie knew that bit

i always sell myself short, its the only way people will buy what i be selling

or... from another angle (sorry Clive) it all ties in with the cosy relationship between Rupert Murdoch newspapers and the Metropolitan police, and politicians of the land attempting to woo the dirty digger in return for support in the papers.

All of the above has been going on for years of course, most notably with David Cameron at present, and Tony B.Liar in the nineties and noughties, but the whole thing has come to roost when it was discovered that News of The World (sunday tabloid) were hacking phones for stories.

Mainly celebrities, which the police didn't seem that bothered to investigate, one private investigator was arrested, went to jail, and NOTW editor Andy Coulson left his job.
Andy Coulsons next job was as... wait for it....
press officer to (then) leader of the oppositon David Cameron (slowly the pieces of the jigsaw fit into place)

Camerons judgement was questioned almost immediately, Coulson didnt leave his employ until much much later)

Just to make it even cosier, Rebekah Brooks, former editor of The Sun newspaper and later News international CEO was a neighbour and friend of David Cameron - hence the horse play, and the christmas day lunches.

then it was revealed that the NOTW hacked the phone of a murdered schoolgirl. Murdoch closed down the NOTW that week (advertisers were already planning on boycotting it)

Coulson and Brooks have both been arrested (by appointment - which makes a change from old bill turning up at your gaff at 6am with six van loads of plod)

cameron calls inquiry, still going, on, murdoch reopens NOTW as 'Sun on sunday'

ive probably missed bits. if yu got 150 hours spare check out guardian.co.uk

clives answer was funnier i think.

Sad news about Davey Jones.

I hope Willie Thorne never dies. I've read his autobiography. Never forget that blue he missed in the UK final v Davis.

Declan, Mick and Seamus entered their local pub's weekly raffle and to their surprise, they each won a prize: Declan a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush.
The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. Declan extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted.
Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush.
'It wasn't that great,' he said. 'I think I'll go back to using paper.'

Frank Carson
News At Ten
RIP

i'd do the job for free. well tax fee ya know what i mean nudge nudge wink wink.

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Quote: Skoob1999

She's locked me in the shed again Arm! Just because I complained about her watching the sodding food channel all day.

Bloody freezing in here....

Regards

Skoob.

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i've blocked all channels on my tv except for skoob sports news. It's the only channel i watch religously morning noon and night 24-7, and shall continue to until you sell out to the murdoch shilling - about a fortnight tuesday accortidng to insiders.

They all start with i. it's an inspiracy.