Discussion Forum

All I know is that his mate Garry Glitter deeply regrets taking his computer to PC World, he should have got Jim to fix it for him.

Happy New Year you lot

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Quote: Dr Jon

I applied for the vole vaulting.
They offered me shrew shotput - it's just not the same.

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Try, swan shot

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Quote: Skoob1999

Is it true that they're holding the badger baiting at Landfill Tawny Les?

That's a lie, we only do hedgehog hurling in Landfill Tawny

This just goes to show what can be done with English tax payers money and an East European labour force. Makes me proud

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Quote: Skoob1999

ICF - Old Trafford 1984...


I recall 1984. A handful of ICF went up and kicked some gay Northern arses

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Quote: Dr Jon

I think it's offices now. Park is still there.

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Shame, I used to love walking around the greenhouse on a summer's day. Then walk down the road for a pint of Bullseye and a bag of chips (with gravy on). Oh well, happy days back in 77

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Quote: Dr Jon

Depends. Golf course or cemetery end?

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Opposite the park with the big greenhouse. 112a as I recall.

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Quote: Rebel Not Taken

Ecoutez Les
you do live up North
Essex is North of London

Some parts of Essex are further South than central London. They have maps now, put your whippet down and have a look.

I lived up North once, Chorley New Road in Bolton. I lived in Blackpool too. Has it changed much in forty years?

The south is better. The Queen could live anywhere she wants but she chose the south. Can't imagine Buckingham Palace in Manchester. All they do up north is keep whippets and racing pigeons.

I did hear a story about a northerner who lost his wife. He asked the stone mason to put on her headstone; "Lord she were thine". When he went to have a look at the grave he was upset to notice that the stone said; "Lord she were thin". He told the stone mason that he had missed an "e"off the inscription. The mason apologised and said he would put it right.

The man returned to the grave the next day to see the amended stone. This time is read; "Lord, e she were thin"

Please send all hate mail to Les Being, Box 56, the beautiful South.

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Quote: Erskin Quint

Marvellous stuff:

Sandy Powell

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Saw him at Butlins in the 60's

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Quote: Tommy Twinkle

Used to always be seeing dead cats along the kerbs when I was a boy. More traffic nowadays but rarely see a dead cat. Wonder why that is!

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They were nearly all wiped out in the "kerbside cat cull" of the late 60's. Not that many left.

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Quote: Tommy Twinkle

Fry's Chocolate Cream ; NO.6/Sovereign/Guards (Ciggies.) ;Ilford films ; Standard fireworks (don't know if they're still going - what was the other name of them? ;small plastic circular things you'd spin on a plastic thingy by tightening up a rubber band - hold it up, release the band. and wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the plastic circular thingy would fly up in the air! (Or was there a piece of string that had to be pulled?)- Memory going-losing me marbles...oh yeah, MARBLES, and flicking picture cards up the wall (PG tips picture cards).

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Frys chocolate but with fruit flavour (colour) instead of cream. Astra fireworks, they also did indoor fireworks. Probably never get that one past the fascists PC brigade today. Imagine the conversation, "I know, let's make small fireworks and sell them for indoor use".

Aztec bar, amazin raisin bar, lucky bags, jamboree bags, bazooka Joe, clackers, Smiths crisps with blue salt bag, golden nuggets cereal, Hi-Karate, Hot Wheels, I-Spy books, John Bull printing outfit, Kensitas King Size fags, Skippy, Milk Tray chocolate bar, Pepsodent toothpaste, Record making machines in railway stations, Slinky, Watneys red barrel, Spangles, Wonderloaf, broken biscuits from Woolworths. Party seven (stand well back, I think I may of shook it a bit on the way here)

I lived through all these.

OK, I was assistant editor for The King James Bible.

I had a few beers last night. I remember writing something about peas on one of the threads. I can't find it now. What a clutz

Ha, beat all your arses, I'm 56. Medal please

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Quote: Skoob1999

Hughie Green, it was.

Him and Monica Rose.

Double Your Money.

Regards

M. Miles.

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I do hope you mean that most sincerely folks. And yes, you are very old!

I'll open the box

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Quote: armfeetandtoe

Listen, you pervert, its people like you that give places like this a bad name.

I may be a man, but my breasts are big and firm. Well,on a friday night. Any chance of an interview?



Arm xxx

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OK, I'll put you on the list. I will need to see the breasts and how good you are with goats.

Take it out your wallet, fold it in half and put it back

Thanks Morse. I do have goats cheese. By the way, you are a little bit dotty, and dash and dot and dash -. -& --- .. - .--- .

I have to say PM, I'm tempted. If nothing better comes along I'll let you know.

What are you like with goats?

I have had a eureka moment. As I type very slowly and you people type very fast I've come up with a cunning plan.

One of you will have to come and live with me.

You will be my assistant. It will be your job to type up everything I say, exactly as I say it but in your own words so that it's funny.

I will be willing to pay the princely sum of one shilling a week. I will also throw in one meal a day. When you're not attending to my genius you will be expected to perform normal household chores. On occasion you will also be asked to hold the goat steady.

Eventually I will be rich and famous and you will have the honour of saying that you worked for me. Everybody wins.

This is a flawless plan as far as I see it.

In line with my commitment to equal opportunities only good looking women with large breasts need apply

I would go for wookie flavour; trouble is it may be a little chewy

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Quote: Skoob1999


Ignore me


Who said that? Oh no the voices are back. No mother; I don't want to kill him..........................