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From Magazine Discussion / Dating Hell
Posted 21 Feb 12 21:31
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The Spoof's resident heart throbe? You've seen Malcolm?

I can't take all the credit for this story. I asked Clive and Iain if they'd help out by setting me up on fictitious dates with complete losers. They both agreed and gave me the names of their really "awesome" catch for me and how they knew them. Since they are "science department writers" it was logical that they be in my story in some way.

Iain helped me a lot actually because I got stuck towards the end and couldn't figure out how a complete loser would get me to go inside his apartment.

At first I thought about the idea of having him be that he made sculpture out of dog poo, but liked Iain's idea of the paintings better. I knew he'd hoard, but Iain thought of the hoarding of Star Wars figures which is quite appropriate as I know many people who really do that! And, really, it is what would get me in the door since he had nothing else in common with me.

So, many thanks to both Iain and Clive for adding some details to my story. I'm glad people find it amusing.

I really did go out with ketchup teeth, and I really am getting a dog. I also recently went out with a man who claimed to be a phophet which lead me to say, "Really? You should read my story called The Devil's Acocado!"

Ellie


 
From General Discussion / Graffiti on Nottingham Castle Sign
Posted 19 Feb 12 19:31
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You guys might like these...

Signs Improved by Graffiti

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Navy Seals take out Terrorist Cell in Hollywood
Posted 19 Feb 12 19:10
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Quote: Lynton

I saw the article about this. It was entrapment that's for sure, at least as far as the articles info led me to believe, but because the guy is Muslim nobody will look too closely at the case.



I missed the article. It's hard to tell where the actual news is hiding amongst all the opinions now days.

I liked your article though.

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Entrepreneur To Open Kebab Van At Everest Base Camp
Posted 18 Feb 12 18:55
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I liked this as well. It reminds me of the time I read Wal-Mart was building a store next to the Aztec pyramids just outside Mexico City. Nothing quite says progress and capitalism as looking down after climbing the Sun Pyramid and seeing a freakin' Wal-Mart! You would think that one's morals would keep you from building next to a 7th wonder of the world! (I can't remember if these pyramids are a wonder of the world....but still....they were built by Aztecs!)

That was the day I got so fed up and completely stopped shopping there!

Ellie

 
From Magazine Discussion / You're Older Than You've Ever Been
Posted 18 Feb 12 17:50
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What is it with men, growing older, and lamenting what's passed you by?

I find that I'm a more complete person at the age of 42 than I ever was at 21. I thought I was so smart and had it all together, but I was a kid. I was not that smart. I'd take who I am now over who I was then any day!

If people are too busy lamenting the past, then they are missing what's right in front of them!

I saw this in approvals and liked it, and I know it's fairly universal to feel this way, I've just always wondered why!

Ellie

p.s. Welcome, by the way.

 
From News Discussion / Android Ice Cream Sandwich to feature Lick-to-Unlock
Posted 18 Feb 12 17:45
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Funny! I read about Android naming it's newest creation ice cream sandwich and my first thought was, "that's a stupid name!" I couldn't think of a clever enough way to make fun of it!

5 from me!

Ellie

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt X Of X; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery
Posted 17 Feb 12 18:02
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Finding an audience??? This is a perfect time when the western world is Sherlock crazy!!!!!

 
From News Discussion / Squaddie Runs Amok In Government Think Tank
Posted 16 Feb 12 23:37
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I liked it! And it's not even a science story!

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Woman named "London's Worst Cyclist"
Posted 16 Feb 12 01:40
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I thought this was really funny!

Ellie

5

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt X Of X; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery
Posted 15 Feb 12 15:16
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I am looking forward to reading all of these stories on paper instead of the computer.

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Emergency Room Visits Hit Record High on Valentines Day
Posted 15 Feb 12 15:14
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I actually need a new vacuum cleaner so it would be much appreciated from me!

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Emergency Room Visits Hit Record High on Valentines Day
Posted 15 Feb 12 12:22
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Very clever!!!!!

 
From General Discussion / Will YOU Be Our Valentine?
Posted 14 Feb 12 19:02
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CJ -

I'm an artist....the artist quality one!

Ellie

p.s. Even though I'm Texan, I don't dig BBQ. Hate it!

 
From General Discussion / Will YOU Be Our Valentine?
Posted 14 Feb 12 18:47
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For me, there's nothing romantic about forced romance. You should appreciate the people in your life every day and show them you care in small ways daily.

My fantasy is to have a guy who actually listens and pays attention and realizes that, when he asks, "How come that paint brush you have has teethmarks all over it?" And upon finding out that I dropped it outside my old apartment and a neighbors dog went to town on it, and me keeping it because it costs almost $15 to replace and you don't want to spend the money on a new one because technically it still is functional, this Mr Amazing would think 'Perhaps she'd really like a new one?' And he buys me one out of the blue...because he cares!

Sadly, I've not found a guy who is this thoughtful or listens all that well.

Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Will YOU Be Our Valentine?
Posted 14 Feb 12 17:48
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Quote: Clive Danton

I bought my missus a card down the market for a quid that said Happy Valentine's Day To My Wonderful Husband by mistake.

Fortunately I dont think she's noticed yet. (


You really did??? That's CLASSIC! Nothing says "I don't pay attention to the details" quite like that! You can always get a black marker and cross it out, and write 'wife' instead.

Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Will YOU Be Our Valentine?
Posted 14 Feb 12 05:24
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Chris -

Do you see up top, next to the Writer's Login....there is a Story Search link. Just type in Bad Romance and all the stories will show up there.

When I want to point someone in the direction of my stories I will just tell them to go to the Top Writers chart and look for my name. If she has email, she can subscribe to your RSS feed and all your stories will be mailed to her. I have a few friends who get my stories that way.

Also, the General Discussion forum is open to the public. I believe she can read posts without having to register. You can point her to that thread that has all the stories.

Hope that helps....

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Catholic Church Nominated for Doublethink Award
Posted 14 Feb 12 05:14
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OH yes.....one thing. The 3rd link I believe (the one about Romney I think) doesn't work. It just takes you to the Google search page.

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Catholic Church Nominated for Doublethink Award
Posted 14 Feb 12 05:11
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I brought up John Stuart because his episode tonight dealt with the Catholic church and that Gingrich was quoted as saying that if Obama won the election he would "declare war on the Catholic church." I'm Catholic, rather I was baptized Catholic, and I thought it absurd.

I rated the story a 5. And it was one of the funniest captions I have read in a long time. It had me laughing when I approved it last night.

Welcome to the Spoof by the way.


Ellie


 
From News Discussion / Catholic Church Nominated for Doublethink Award
Posted 14 Feb 12 04:12
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You watching the Daily Show now??? Funny stuff tonight.

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Cambridge Study Reveals Condiments Makes Ordinary Sex Better - Study Leads To US Economic Downfall
Posted 14 Feb 12 02:41
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I was wondering who wrote this when I approved it... '

Very good!

Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Will YOU Be Our Valentine?
Posted 13 Feb 12 23:59
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Quote: Gail Farrelly

In addition to the Bad Romance stories, you may also like to read this article at NYDailyNews.com:

Single? Avoid the lovey-dovey stuff with anti-Valentines Day events in NYC



My favorite was February is for Pancakes. For a girl whose had a guy dump her on Valentine's Day, pancakes sounds really good.

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Hate Apps? There's an app for that
Posted 13 Feb 12 19:29
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Sounds like I should fire him then....I don't want a crazy person working @ Home James Apps especially when I have a six year old at home.

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Hate Apps? There's an app for that
Posted 13 Feb 12 19:05
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Chris works at Home James too????

Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Mrs Brown and the Condom
Posted 13 Feb 12 03:03
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That was hilarious!

Ellie

 
From News Discussion / Whitney Houston: The Day The Music Died - I will always love you
Posted 13 Feb 12 02:57
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The person writing below me is a nincompoop.

Ellie

 
42 Pages - «« « 19 20 [21] 22 23 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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