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From General Discussion / Books That We've Recently Read
Posted 8 Apr 16 12:38
Message
I've just finished All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.

Before that, it was American Gods by Neil Gaiman and Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore.

Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Comedic trolling
Posted 26 Feb 16 06:12
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I read about Whataburger recently trolling Kanye West. Here's a post about it:

Whataburger Trolling Kanye


Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Comedic trolling
Posted 26 Feb 16 06:09
Message

Quote: rfreed

I used to have irregular battles with a former Spoof writer.
Also have had an article of mine stolen and slightly rewritten on another site.


Really? That's beyond trolling. That's just being an asshole! I'm sorry that happened.

Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Surrealist Compliment Generator
Posted 9 Feb 16 17:53
Message
These were mine:

"You look like someone who has lunched poorly and who has no expectations for dinner." This is true.

"Ever do you remind me of a staircase falling exotically into a sea of spilled macaroni." Obviously, if someone had said this to me, I'd have gotten married.

"Your presence reminds one of a blind jackal, eternally dependent upon misguided archbishops to provide instruction in bowling."


I could spend hours doing this!

 
From General Discussion / Mental Health Background Check for Gun Owners
Posted 25 Jan 16 00:36
Message
Sadly, JO....

There are too many people in the US who hold tight to stereotypes. So, yeah. I feel like educating people on the diversity of Texans.

Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Mental Health Background Check for Gun Owners
Posted 7 Jan 16 18:29
Message
Not every Texan with a pick up is a redneck, and not all of them have guns.

Some are and do, that's true. Most of my friends have trucks to haul their shit around, but they don't own guns.

That said, I certainly hope some of those dimwits who want to just show off the fact that they can carry a firearm and want to walk around with a rifle or automatic weapon can't pass their background checks.

 
From General Discussion / Deleted Spam Threads
Posted 6 Dec 15 00:00
Message
I deleted the Spam threads that I could see. If there is any more spam in any of the other threads that I haven't seen, let me know. When I delete a thread, I believe Mark is notified and he can see what was deleted. I'm sure the spammers will be blocked!

Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 31 Aug 15 01:52
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It is anything like baseball?

 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 24 Aug 15 20:49
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I always thought a cricket was an insect.

 
From General Discussion / Unlikely couples
Posted 2 Aug 15 20:51
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Rick Perry and Hulk Hogan....hmmm....You forget Rick Perry has a permit to carry a fire arm. He jogs with his gun in order to shoot the coyotes in the hill country where he jogs.

So, he wouldn't need Hulk Hogan to protect him.

 
From News Discussion / Labour Leadership Candidate Secretly Filmed At Tory Fundraiser
Posted 2 Aug 15 20:46
Message
Funny that he didn't realize you wrote it.

 
From News Discussion / Jeb _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President
Posted 17 Jul 15 03:32
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That would be a brilliant challenge! Good call Doc!

 
From News Discussion / Jeb _______ of the ______ Dynasty Announces His Bid for President
Posted 16 Jul 15 23:10
Message
I liked this.

"America needs a better bush

haha

If only....

 
From General Discussion / UK keeps disappearing
Posted 2 Jun 15 20:30
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I'm sure it's just a glitch. Did you message Mark?


Ellie

 
From General Discussion / Evidence that Mark doesn't wear a towel on his head
Posted 26 Apr 15 16:50
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EQ - Here is a bit of information about towels:

The invention of the towel was associated, at least apocryphally, with the city of Bursa in Turkey. The city is still noted for the production of "Turkish towels."



 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 24 Apr 15 19:23
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Quote: D P Whitehead
I would like to take this opportunity for us all to remember dave and for this, I would like a minutes silence.




I think we should all take some time and do our best to eulogize his passing by improperly using grammer; spelling- and also punctuation!

He said as he rounded the corner- "He was not always the nicest of fellows" !





 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 23 Apr 15 21:28
Message
And damnit! I completely missed the sentence where you learn the Clintons live in a newspaper.

That made me laugh out loud. If only all of his improperly punctuated sentences were that funny!

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 23 Apr 15 21:24
Message
Yeah....I didn't approve that one. Horrible punctuation, bad grammar, and all that. I'll miss not approving his stories because his grammar never did improve.

Pity.

 
From General Discussion / Is Mark an Islamist? - A Muslim? OR Just a Coward?
Posted 23 Apr 15 02:38
Message
Thing is dave, you're not funny. This is a public forum. There have been other stories published that mentioned Islam. If you provide proof that your rejected story is something worthy of being called satire, then provide the news story behind your brilliantly written and timely crafted piece. Send that to Mark and talk it over with him. And if the story proves to be brilliant satire then I'm sure he'll change his mind.

Yet, if a story is just inflammatory, it might get put in the bin. Obviously, yours did.

I'm going to lock this thread now. Not solely for the reason that I can, but because I'm not going to tolerate sexual comments made about me. I was going to try to laugh it off, but I'm sick of feeling like I have to laugh off remarks such as that.

If anyone has a problem with that, please message me.

 
From General Discussion / Is Mark an Islamist? - A Muslim? OR Just a Coward?
Posted 23 Apr 15 01:50
Message
I resent that.

I'm Canadian!





 
From General Discussion / Is Mark an Islamist? - A Muslim? OR Just a Coward?
Posted 22 Apr 15 23:17
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Okay dave,

I don't know what your problem is this time. But you can't, even jokingly, say someone is planning on joining a regime like that. First, it's not funny. Secondly, you just can't do that on a public forum. It's bad form.

If you would like to tell me what is wrong, please PM me. Perhaps you and I can discuss things like adults. Air whatever grievance you have, but do it in a PM. If I can't help you, then PM Mark.

On that note, if any discussion on this thread gets nasty, trollish, etc, this thread will be locked.


 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 17 Apr 15 23:54
Message
I don't get it. Publishing anywhere should warrant correct spelling, correct grammar, etc. It matters for every writer I come across. It doesn't matter where your drivel is located on the internet! *It's true that there are a lot of stories on here I don't get, or personally find funny because they aren't my cup of tea. At least the vast majority are spelt correctly, and are punctuated properly. I know there are a few errors that are missed, but the moment they are spotted, the writer tends to correct them.

And, there are a few very successful writers (novelists) who post here who are quite funny and they take the time to make sure the alleged crap they write on here is written in...I don't know...proper English!

* I went back and edited.

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 17 Apr 15 01:27
Message
Oh sorry. I forgot to mention, of course you can use quotes. However, when a story is only 4 paragraphs and 3 of those are dialogue, then it's not much of a story.

Mark wrote a long post about it some time back.

Your website is interesting, by the way.

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 16 Apr 15 22:35
Message
A professional writer such as yourself, Sir, should care more about the craft and spell and punctuate things correctly.

And go ahead and take a crack at me, too.

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 15 Apr 15 02:31
Message
I'm surprised that got through....it was largely all quotes. Mark used to send back stories for being all quotes.

And, yes. There's punctuation, but it's not correct. That's not how dialogue is punctuated!

Here's an example taken from an actual news article:

"The new aircraft seats are the widest economy seats available in the single-aisle 737 market and offer a unique design that gives our customers what they asked for: more space," said Southwest chief commercial officer Bob Jordan in a statement.
Awesome read about airline seats!

If you're going to call other writers bad writers, at least have the decency for doing so in a properly punctuated piece of writing!

For some information on colons, you might want to click here: How to use colons. You'll notice that colons are only used with dialogue when writing a screenplay.

Other than that, Mark sure does look cute as a young lad!

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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