Discussion Forum

Drybiro-ed The state of utter despair felt after writing your best piece to date and realising that you can't thing up anything else as funny. A state normally followed by heavy alcohol consumption at the OB&G






.

Aeroplane Devise used to shave slivers of chocolate from confectionery bars.


Smidgen Small pigeon


Smack Small hamburger


Smock Gentle leg-pulling as in Frankie Howard "Smock me not missus"


Smoke Small acorn producing tree

I'd like to say welcome, but I'm such a miserable bastard that I won't.

Unless you've got some money.

Or big tits.

Or a publishing deal that you don't need.

Or a sister with big tits.

Or some blackmail material on me.

Or Queen Mudder.

Dubai Debbie from Birmingham


Tin Can Two tins

Can-Can Two tins

Tin-Tin Belgium cartoon character

Gruntled Feeling of elation as in Ms Cartland's novel The Handsome Horseman "Oh Mr Drayby, I was feeling rather disgruntled until you put your hand up my skirt, but now I have come over all gruntled"

The funniest hospital joke has got to be the one about the night nurse and the oxygen cylinder.

Can't remember all of it, but it certainly rates in the top ten for me.

If anyone can remember fragments of the joke then let me know as it would be a shame to lose it.



Gin and tonic please nurse

Name a mediocre Englishman

Kinetic is not easy to include clearly

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Quote: Morse

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Quote: Skoob1999

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Quote: churchmouse

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Quote: queen mudder

It's true about blueberries and other dark colored berries - such as blackberries, blackcurrants and Oregon-grape/Mahonia berries - having a lot of Vit C/anti-oxidants. Rosehips also pretty beneficial in the same way.

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I've found that the best way to consume anti-oxidants is to imbibe them in the form of bottles of red wine. It is so much easier than having to spit pips all over the place.

Sometimes I consume so much health giving vitamin C and anti-oxidants that I wake up on the floor the following morning to find that someone has pissed over my trousers.

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Churchmouse

You ever fancy having a spoofy pint somewhere, I'm yer man. Just don't drink bloody Merlot all day.

Prost!

Skoob.

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Cheers Skoob,

Mine's a Babycham.

Churchmouse.
....

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Quote: queen mudder

It's true about blueberries and other dark colored berries - such as blackberries, blackcurrants and Oregon-grape/Mahonia berries - having a lot of Vit C/anti-oxidants. Rosehips also pretty beneficial in the same way.

---

I've found that the best way to consume anti-oxidants is to imbibe them in the form of bottles of red wine. It is so much easier than having to spit pips all over the place.

Sometimes I consume so much health giving vitamin C and anti-oxidants that I wake up on the floor the following morning to find that someone has pissed over my trousers.

The most boring and reliable person I ever met was Swiss.

Perhaps you should go for a Swiss car as they are likely to reflect their national characteristics. Can't think of any Swiss car makers at the moment, but there are some very good chocolate manufacturers there.

Whatever you do don't buy a German or Japanese car. They are so boringly reliable that they come with an application form for the civil service in the glove compartment.
I agree with Iain, go for an Italian car and everyday will be a new adventure. A Fiat Multipla would be ideal. Dirt cheap because it looks like Ann Widdicome and a totally different noise from the engine each morning.
Because it's a Fiat trim falls off every time you close the door but the lads in Turin have compensated by putting addition pieces on to compensate for the bits you lose.
You can also take the back seats out and it will easily accommodate a moped if you take the front wheel off it before loading it in. I have one, and the mechanic at the garage that I use begs me not to get rid of it.

Don't quite understand this one. Was the firm fined because they provided a complimentary mouse with their product, or were they fined because the mouse was poisoned by the bread that it was burrowing into. It seems to me that they were either fined for providing more product than they were advertising, or were fined for killing a mouse. I can understand the latter but not the former.

I'm terribly sorry but I was looking for the toilet and I seem to have stumbled into the site by accident, I wonder if I could use yours?