Discussion Forum

Ah, Alf Tupper, Britain's cartoon featured athlete. I seem to remember that he had a strict training regime involving the consumption of fish and chips.
All ripping stuff, and obviously inspired all those young Brits to go out there and conquer the world.

Not quite sure what went wrong.

Anyway, Tupperware is actually a stiff plastic material used in the manufacture of underwear.

Not very comfortable, but it does keep everything nice and fresh.

There will be a thermostat on the tank to regulate the temperature.

Assuming that it's a common make, there should be a plastic cover on the bottom of it, normally held on by 3 screws. - remove the cover, and you should see a round plastic fitting about 2" in diameter. (This is the arse-end of the thermostat. In the middle of it there will be a small flimsy looking plastic slotted screw - this is the stat setting screw.

When the chaffe-eaus are delivered they tend to be at max setting and a lot of the time the installer doesn't bother to adjust them. Turn the plastic screw slightly ( say 30 degrees) and your water should run at a cooler setting in a few hours

If the bottom of it doesn't look like the above, take a photo of it and send it to me as a jpeg to an email and I'll tell you how to adjust it.

Cheers.

Lynton,

The thing under your hot water tank is a 'group de securitie'.

As French heating tanks are mains fed sealed units, every time your water heats up there will be up to 3% expansion of the water inside it. The group de securite opens to allow the excess to escape rather than splitting the tank. This is quite normal and the excess will expel to a drain pipe.

There is a way to prevent this leakage happening by fitting a 'vase de expansion sanitaire' between the groupe de securite and the hot water tank inlet.

Your plumber will know what it it, and it's a fairly simple job to do.

Still a foot of snow here in the Charante.

Minus 8 plus the wind chill factor here.

Getting close to a foot of snow, and nothing moving on the roads.

Currently 5 dead in France due to the cold.

Can't go anywhere, so anyone who's heating has packed up has to burn their furniture until driving conditions improve and I can get to them.

Such an unusual thing to find that I can't do anything that I'm looking for things to do. Probably end up fiddling with Madame Churchmouse unless I can figure out how the TV works.

Direct from Tarquin's water farm.

All hand dried and freshly oiled.


45 guineas a gross.

Free water vole with every repeat order.

Conspiracy theories are all true.

In that they are theories that exist, rather than things which don't exist which is why we have heard of them.

Conspiracy theories that don't exist (virtual conspiracy theories) haven't been thought of yet, but when someone, somewhere does think up one it automatically becomes a true theory rather than a thought that hasn't happened.

Pint please Audrey.

And some crisps for the dog.

Dear Spoof,

Re-experience your life during your mid-teens once more by only speaking to members of the opposite sex in monosyllables and telling all of your mates what your wife/girlfriend does in bed and whenever possible act like a complete knob.

For added realism, try smearing lard onto your face to induce chronic acne.



Jeremy Clarkson.

It's well known that General Custer camped at Little Big Horn because of its excellent Shower and toilet facilities.


His adjutant had suggested that they stop at a nearby Haven caravan site instead, but Custer with his heightened vanity insisted on Little Big Horn where there was not only complimentary hair dryers, but also a manicurist and a reflexologist.


Of course had he stopped at the 'Vomiting Dog' Haven caravan site the resulting battle could have been turned in his favour due to the abundant supplies of Gatling guns and furry gonks normally stocked at such places.


Bernard Law Montgomery

I'm in room 112. Well not really, I'm actually in Reception talking to you at the moment, but my clothes and things are in room 112.

I was just wondering... It's a cold and dreary night for a travelling Lama trainer, and one does get a bit lonely all on ones own, what with the large bed and all of those tv channels... It's just that, you wouldn't know of...someone who might...or often does, in fact, as a service to someone, in a professional manner that is, during those nights when one is at a loose end...and would welcome the company of a...

Or possibly not.

---

Quote: armfeetandtoe
and a nose bag from time to time..........
Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

---

In the old daze it was called a nosegay. (Quote QM)



You haven't seen the state of her.



Barbara Streisand has nothing compared to her.

Sorry you couldn't make it Arm. It would have been good to have met you.

Still, never mind, worse things happen sea, a bird in the hand is worth a moss covered stone etc. There'll be another one happening next year.

Merry Chrimbo.

Wonderful.

I'm dashing down to the shops to buy as many 'Kings new Snapback Hats Dark' as I can get my hands on.

Once I've got them, I'm off to the nearest football match. After-all; Us hat wearers 'not should certainly go to some game'.


I might even notice some people 'glimpse at my hat'.


I wish I could have given this 5 thumbs.

I fucked a bird in the underground.


You can't get much lower than that.

I hope that it's not the best one!


It's nearly new that broom you know.


I think that the snow leopard problem might be resolved if you train up some of the fruit bats to make Arctic Hare noises. That way the snow leopard will be distracted and you can sneak downstairs to grab a corned beef sandwich without getting badly mauled as you dive for the loft hatch.


I would lend you an Arctic Hare for the fruit bat elocution lessons but I'm right out of them at the moment. Perhaps someone else could post you one.


Oh, and careful of the shed roof, it's just been felted.

Didn't Formby perform 'Get down and get with it in Paris and London'?

Welcome to The Spoof Andrè.

I understand that one of the fruit bats that shares Skoob's loft with Arm shares the same name as you.

Quite spooky when you think about it...

Or if you're pissed.

Where's the absinthe?

What happened to the custard pie?

Don't open the one with the dent in it.

As well as the 20 US soldiers who opted to live in China, there was also one Brit.

He was a Royal Marine from Scotland called Andrew Condron.

Presumably, he thought that life in China would be not as bad as returning to 1953 Scotland.

As an aside, the traitorous Condron wrote a pamphlet denigrating the West and promoting the 'worker's paradise' that he found himself in.

I'm told that it's not a riveting read.

I knew that this would happen.


Up north Yate's Wine Lodge sells a truly disgusting wine based drink called Blobs.


It was only a matter of time before poor, gentle, absinthe sipping Erskine was hunted down and Chaved.

To my knowledge, Aberdeen was never rocked.


Although Dundee tried to club it to death in 1931.


And Glasgow mugged it in 1956.


There is a rumour that Banff once sexually molested it during the inter-war period, but I'm not sure if that counts.

She was feeling Happy before.


Doc told me.

S'no right that!

The French gov has actually re-licenced the stuff despite it's history of sending people mad or making them blind.

Don't believe me.

Alcohol content of drinks:

Beer 5%
Wine 12%
Gin 37%
Whiskey 40%
Pastice 45%
Absinthe 85%

Sorry, not very funny I realise, but it's one of the few facts that I know and I wanted to look like a smart-arse before getting blind drunk.

I don't suppose you've got any of that absinthe left have you?