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From General Discussion / The anniversary
Posted 11 Sep 11 10:32


From General Discussion / Hurricane Season
Posted 27 Aug 11 09:00

Stay safe over there. That sure looks like one mother of a storm
headed your way.


From News Discussion / "Semi-Naked MILFS Incompatible With Worthing's Image" Says Local Entrepreneur
Posted 18 Aug 11 10:15

Loved the photo caption!

5* from me Skoob.

Very, very funny.


From News Discussion / England Are Cricket's No 1 Team - Local Disbelief
Posted 18 Aug 11 00:03

They were lucky.

The Indians just had a bad couple of days.

From News Discussion / Double-Dip Recession Shuts Down Worthing Crematorium
Posted 15 Aug 11 11:53

Don't ask how, it's a long story.

Some years ago, it fell to me to represent my
employer at the cremation of Vera Lynn's
husband, Harry, at the nearby Brighton
Crematorium, along with a junior colleague.

The service lasted for two hours and there wasn't a
narcissist in the house.

At the time, I had a contract with the funeral director who
was arranging the cremation.

What will always stay with me is that, after the service,
I was invited backstage to have a cup of tea with the funeral director.

My junior colleague and I walked into the business end
of the crematorium, at which point she commented "Bloody
hell, it's hot in here".

I nearly died...

From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 15 Aug 11 10:55
Chavs Are Really Dense In Fucking Felixstowe

From News Discussion / Stephen Hawking Sings On New CD
Posted 15 Aug 11 10:50

Exceptionally funny and in such wonderfully poor taste.

Can't ask for more, really.

5* from me HB.

All the best


From News Discussion / Worthing's Top Fish Restaurant Pioneers Filleted Banana
Posted 15 Aug 11 09:24

After cyclone Yazi went through here and wiped out the
banana crop, it seems Worthing has more bananas than we do!

Probably cheaper too! Ours usually sell at $2 a kilo.

Now they are $18 a kilo!

What is a man to do?

5* from me CJ.


From News Discussion / Looting Set To Become An Olympic Event in 2012
Posted 11 Aug 11 13:39

Do you read minds Sid?

Several times a week, mate.

From News Discussion / Dolly Parton Turns 90 Years Old
Posted 11 Aug 11 13:38

How does one identify Dolly Parton's kids?

They are the ones with stretch marks around their mouths.

5* from me sir

From News Discussion / Looting Set To Become An Olympic Event in 2012
Posted 11 Aug 11 13:12

Thanks chaps.

Can't stop. Busy trying to install a plasma TV and surround
sound system. I wish I'd got the bloody instructions too...

I would like to kick off something in Brisbane. Only trouble is the cops here shoot first and ask questions later.



From General Discussion / Letters to Skoob
Posted 23 Jul 11 07:16


I'm always finding myself in situations where I have to eat my hat.

It wouldn't be so bad if I had a pork pie hat, but I don't.

What should I do?

From General Discussion / They tell me I should go and watch a Ska band.
Posted 12 Jul 11 11:51

A special(s) example.

From Magazine Discussion / "Can't Smell No Holocaust Gas At Auschwitz" Jokes David Irving - "I Can" Replies Colonel Juan
Posted 12 Jul 11 08:42

High time this one was revisited.

For me, it remains one of the finest pieces on The Spoof.

Many of the newbies won't even be aware of its existence.

From General Discussion / Teaching Ebonics
Posted 12 Jul 11 02:02

I believe Eton College has employed a pimp to teach the very subject.

From News Discussion / Has Cheryl Cole Gone Completely Mental Or What? - Local Man Asks After Seeing Twitter Message
Posted 7 Jul 11 03:51


5* from me.



From News Discussion / Worried? Give It Half An Hour
Posted 28 Jun 11 07:51

Only 36 minutes a day?

They don't know they're alive.

Excellent. 5* from me.


From General Discussion / Getting Logged Out
Posted 24 Jun 11 03:39

I'm having the same problem pretty frequently.

From Magazine Discussion / Letters To The Editor - About Nothing Really Worthwhile
Posted 23 Jun 11 09:35

I've just walked in the house, having had a really crap day at the office. I sat down and read this and was in tears of laughter.

Thanks Skoob, utterly brilliant.

From News Discussion / Sir Runchbox Poke-Starbling Gets 3 Years For Offences Against Cormorant
Posted 23 Jun 11 02:40

Vintage stuff CJ. 5* from me.

From General Discussion / American Culture v British Culture
Posted 19 Jun 11 03:29

I would comment on Australian culture.

Unfortunately, the only culture here is what one finds in a bio-yoghurt.

From News Discussion / UK Severe Weather Alert - Batten Down The Hatches - Stiff Breeze Expected Wednesday
Posted 14 Jun 11 20:31

You're on fire Skoob.

Don't let one of those sporadic showers douse your flames.

5 raindrops from me.

From News Discussion / Mock Doc In Frock Cock Shock
Posted 14 Jun 11 11:34

Quote: Lynton

Listen very carefully (I will say this only once). When you wrote this I was laying PROSTRATE in my hospital bed because my PROSTATE felt like it was being wire-brushed from the inside and the JT felt as if it had been used by Quasimodo as the bell rope of Notre Dame. All that apart from a bad reaction to the anaesthetic. Happily they had pulverised the stones and not my nuts.

Makes my eyes water just reading this.

I've got all of this to look forward to...

I'll be prostrate on the floor before God hoping that my prostate doesn't play up!

From Magazine Discussion / 10 Ways To Beat The Boarding School Blues
Posted 14 Jun 11 10:53

Quote: Colonel Juan

Than, in a later scene, same actress with torch and stick, inspecting for ringworm..


House Thump!!!!!

I remember when the local laundry delivered scabies to the boarding house. The whole house lined up in Matron's corridor while she came along, armed with jam jar and pastry brush, and painted our bollocks with Gentian Violet.

My lads don't know what they have missed...

From News Discussion / We will be flying around in 'transparent' planes by 2050 - according to Airbus
Posted 14 Jun 11 10:42

Once the thing has taken off through the smog of a few
major capital cities a few times, it will be like flying
inside a big, dried out, used condom.

I've had far too much red wine to come up with a better analogy.

11 Pages - «« « 4 5 [6] 7 8 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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