Discussion Forum

Bloody cold in Brisbane! 31 degrees and I've just plugged in the electric blanket!

"...festooned in copper and auburn and umber hues. By the village pump, an ancient cat dozed. Across the green, beyond the ducking-stool, he spied the vicarage, brooding behind a tormented hornbeam. His pulse quickened at the sight, for he could, even here, discern the traceries of its 16th-century pargeting..." [from "A Sussex Pilgrimage" by Ninian Fimbler]

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EQ, that sounds remarkably like Crawley.

Mr Fields,

I've reminded them of every sporting defeat they have suffered at the hands of England. I even insisted on being addressed as Mr Wilkinson for the duration of our meeting!

Roll on Perth!

Sid

66 for 6 in 83 minutes! Who cares if it rains?


I'll be wearing a black armband for the team meeting this afternoon!

They are praying for rain & the forecast for tomorrow says they are going to get lots of it.

The problem is that the convicts have not got used to playing

without shackles and leg irons, therefore having the full

range of movement.

They also don't have Warnie threatening to shag their wives

if they don't play well.

One of my favourites:


Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.


If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.


If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.


If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.


If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.


If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.


If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.


If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

I had the pleasure of a lot downcast Aussie colleagues at work this afternoon. Needless to say, I grasped the opportunity with both hands!

If I'm honest day three was a disappointment.


They didn't throw the ball around very much and


there wasn't a single scrum or lineout.


I've a good mind to ask for a refund on my ticket.

Yesterday, whilst walking to work, one of my colleagues encountered a group of poms who asked her for directions to the Gabba. She gave them lengthy and detailed directions which took them to the opposite side of Brisbane. They are bastards, these Aussies, nothing but bastards.

Nice shots of the mother country.


Shame about the song.

Welcome Sean,

You're in good company and it sure as hell is a lot of fun.

Sid

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Quote: Skoob1999

Five year contract.

Sorry.

Game over Wazza.

Our name isn't Coleen.

We don't forgive so easily.

Have fun.

Skoob.

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...and they are paying him more money. Unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable, as Victor Meldrew would say.

I'm surprised Eurostar doesn't make Germans travel in the railway carriage which was used for the signing of the Treaty of Versailles.

Years ago, when I played rugby against the France U18 XV, we included the names of famous French military defeats in all of our lineout calls. It seemed to really piss them off. I suppose we could have been more charitable and thrown in the odd French victory, but we couldn't think of any.

C'est la vie!

Unsurprisingly, I laughed my bollocks off.

I imagine it is a public holiday in France today.


Just as it is on Agincourt Day, Crecy Day and Waterloo Day

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Quote: Colonel Juan

Stop worrying Sid..

It's only my private nurse..

I'll ask her to keep the noise down..

Sorry again..

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Is your private nurse available for soapy tit wanks?

Mate, I only disable the safe search when I can't find alcohol in the usual places. I'm at a loss as to why this is happening. Must be some viral thingy.

Since about 4 hours ago, when I go to my writer's desk I hear what sounds like a distinctly human heavy sigh (seriously). Does anybody else hear this? I'm not pissed and have not taken any drugs. Maybe I'm developing schizophrenia. If that's the case, I know where you bastards live.

What does Camilla Parker-Bowles resemble?


Correct!


Turtle's Head

What injury am I at risk of if I have the chip on my shoulder removed?


Correct!


Priapism

I once had a dentist, a Scottish fellow, called Mr Stabbins. Nice for anybody with even the slightest phobia about dentists.

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Quote: Jesus Budda

Sydney, are we...related?

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If your mother was the Whore of Babylon, we might be...

I get on here when I can, but even if I'm not on another fucking planet, I'm still 10 hours ahead of you guys (Brisbane = GMT +10 hours). We'll see how it goes. Have a nice evening everybody.