Discussion Forum

QM Can you please name these "Racist Thugs" you keep harking on about? The problem is, you see, that I am in daily contact with three ex spoofers and I can state that they are neither Racist or thugs. Despite what I might of been, I have never and would not associate with racists or bigots. What you are saying, is that I am a racist because I associate with them. That me old china is Slander, and I will do everything the law allows to have you retract that statement and apologise.

I come from a large Gypsy family that has suffered racism for many generations, unlike the gorger, we do not retaliate with racist insults, we embrace our enemies and hope they will see the error of thier ways. Being a racist or bigot is frowned upon in Gypsy culture.

You need to think before you speak QM, You have insulted me, my family and Gypsy culture.

From what I have witnessed on this forum, the back has been broken and now what was once a bright shining light in cyber space, is now a flicker of a dying flame. Sad, very sad, if I were Mark, I would have an amnesty and get the forum back to its old self......full of life.

There's a sacred and extremely olde Bolivian proverb - handed down from the La Paz Indians..

Recently translated by scholars, it says:-

He Who Laughs Last Laughs Longest


Here endeth the lesson

Fuck me! Is that the lady with the Lamp?
Could have sworn she goes to bed at eight pm.

Must be the noise...........

Merry Bollocks...Pass the sun cream Skoob...

"THE ISLE OF SHITE"
(AN ORIGINAL POEM - CUT, PASTED & IMPROVED BY WONKY)


This royal throne of kings, this scepter'd isle,

This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,

This other Eden, demi-paradise,

This fortress built by Nature for herself

Against infection and the hand of war,

This happy breed of men, this little world,

This precious stone set in the silver sea,

Which serves it in the office of a wall,

Or as a moat defensive to a house,

Against the envy of less happier lands,

This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this beloved ISLE OF SSHITE..

It was a touch landing on the island, and no mistake, floating around for days we were.

No one dare say what they really felt in case it upset the others. Then Captain Gazza shouts;

"Land hoe men" and we saw this place in the distance. Right shit hole it looked but once we got started ole Captain Gazza saw us through and the place is as chipper as the Isle of Dogs.

Had a few problems with the natives, no one spoke German see, anyway, we insulted them until they folded and fell to the ground whimpering like schoolgirls.

Then to celebrate we marched around shouting out Acronyms to each other in a sort of deluded victory parade. Made me weep it did.

Anyway, I keep's me head down writing on the board and reading the messages other blokes have left. we can write anything we want you know, the guvnor he don't interfere.

Not like the old place where it was ok as long as it wasn't racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-sematic or Funny.

No laughing on week days see, bad for morale and all that, they knew best, seen them wipe out an entire community of satirists with their rules and regulations.

It's a funny old world and no malarkey, one minute your floundering in a sea of detritus, the next your up to your neck in slathering, puking, rodgering and enough humorous banter to keep you going for the foreseeable future. I have been promoted to Skivvy so things is looking up.

Have a Very Merry Christmas Sp**fers

Private Harry Homo

I'm with you on that one mate.

Merry bollocks


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxx

You roasted thug, I hate Turkey, does that make me a racist?
I dont like chicken either, god I am bad.



Adolf Hintler
The Grumbling
USSR

I'm off to join my brethren in the desert. It's a lonely cold place here without the warm heartedness of lads.

TTFN


Arm

Hope all of you, have a very merry Christmas, full of fun laughter and love and peace.




Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Spoof,

I have reported that Danton fellow for being anti semetic.


Shiek Abdul Ahman El Hombre
Lahal Street
Dubai

Dear Spoof,

I am so angry, I have not only bitten through my hand, I have also given the gold fish a damn good thrashing, because I know they will have forgotten about it, until the next time. If Clive Danton does not return, I am going to put my testicles in a vice and turn the handle every day until he writes something on this forum.

^^^^^^^What he said.

Mr Armfeetandtoe
In his shed at home in West Sussex.

9 out of 10 Cats prefer fish to meat.

4 0ut 0f 10 Arabs wished thier camels did not spit.

6 0ut 0f 10 Ants would rather be a wood louse.

20 out 100 suicide jumpers wished they had not.

10 out of 50 men named Clive wished they could win writing compo's like that talented Arm bloke.


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxx

And you Debs, your wonderful, sorry I have not been in touch the house, kids, customers and the fuckin Great Dane have taken me to the edge. Thank god I have a misses that understands and tolerates me.




Love as always

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You slaughter me mate, your up there with Skoob, CLive Frankie and Roy. It makes my day.


Cheers mate.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Allhah! I cring der guffontment and shell dim Heye aim here illigals, they is tellink mine have money! It nice cuntry!
brings you familis all huncle an harnty. Nice.





Yarmersh Hasbulla
Crouch End

You promised you would not tell you Ninny, what if the wife founds out and starts asking questions like:

"Was it you that caused that explosion?"

"Is your friend from the South?"

"Why are you dressed like Santa?"

"Did you have to drink all that moonshine in one go?!

I met a Scottish Indian the other day, Hawkeye the Noo.
Have the lights gone out mother?

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I thought it would be a laugh for my fellow spoofers to post *alternative* advent pictures on here to create the ultimate Crimbo calendar.







Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Its a good job they do, I paid a fortune for my house by the sea, and do you know what!? The fuckin kids never go near it! We should have stayed in London.



Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxx

See, I knew that Danton fellow was one of me own. Who else, but an erudite cockney machanic geezer could write words like that? It makes me proud to be in his company and call him "Friend".


Sincerely.

Love as always

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. Bastard

"Ere we is a shoutin for thoy team, oh ow we plays is be far the bested in the bit of the world we knows about cos rest of world aint bin a discovered yet"

Londinium Wonderers A.D. 456

Sewege pit end.



Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I gave myself a damn good thrashing once, the problem was, I
kept moving out of the way, it went on for hours, me throwing punches, then bobbing and weaving, it was my Mum that put a stop to what could have been a very nasty fight.

She slapped me round the earhole. Floored I was.



Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Your right, I am being a little harsh, the opponent was supposed to be a stand up fighter, I saw him throw four punches in six rounds, whats all that about then eh?



You beautifus bloke


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pretty lame performance from Tyson this evening. My Nan could have put on better show. Dont think he is ready to meet Klichko yet. Shame.



Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had it a couple of years ago, it cleared up in a week.

Oh how I laughed as I punched the face of the man in the pub that said; "Fucking poofs deserve it" laid him spark out I did, and pointed out to his wanker of a friend, that AIDS was a virus that attacked people from all walks of life, a bit like the attack on your moronic mate eh.

Still, yu got to love these ignorant bastards dont ya.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Everyone boxed when I was a kid, it was the norm. I had my first boxing gloves at six years old, new they were, 8oz.
I was a good boxer, always came second. I remember my first bout, I bobbed and weaved, bit of the old Ali shuffle, off the left foot, back on the right, then the bastard hit me.

But seriously, I love boxing, been around it all my life, even in the army. It is a noble sport. More disciplined than many other sports. I wish I had taken it more seriously when I think back. But birds booze and fags became more important. Stood me in good stead when I started working the door of "Jingles" nightclub in Earls Court, I was only fifteen at the time.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxx