Discussion Forum

Thanks, Abel!

Regards,
Queen Mudderator

Happy Spoof Anniversary Arm.

Water table already very high in the area mostly because of little local investment in proper infrastructure.

We have a bolt hole in West Sussex, got its own natural moat that floods when the Arun spills over.

Put in new drains and flood defences about 15 years ago following a mini landslide in the veg garden.

These days it's usually laid to waste by marauding wildfowl.

It all depends on the state of any over-wintering bladderwort - as Prince Philip found out to his cost this week.

Personally I'd make sure of planting some mood-altering perennials like hemlock F-1 hybrids next to datura cultivars such as Brugmansia Superba Aleister Crowleiana.

Both secrete hallucinogenic substances toxic to humans BUT when dried can be sprinkled on cappuccinos, ice cream, milk shakes etc.

Then there's mugwort - an absolute Royal Ascot must that makes picking a winner easy peasy after just one mouthful.

Grows particularly well next to pennyroyal and the curry plant with the added bonus of repelling foxes, marauding cats and TV Licence detector van sleuths.

All from a 50p packet of seeds.

Gardener's World.

Muck spreading around the brassicas.

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Quote: Ellis Ian Fields
and enjoys Russia's second goal.**

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Er, global domination by fair means or foul being their FIRST goal, what zactly is the er second?

Just the thought of a glass of wine could be enough to help you relax because of the power of positive thinking, scientists have claimed.

People are so suggestive that simply believing an alcoholic drink will make us feel better or socialise more easily at a party will greatly raise the chance of making it so, researchers said.

Story

Hmmm, power of suggestion, innit?

Troll Hater Song

Being self-employed I cannot imagine wanting to add to the nation's downward-spiralling trainwreck of an economy by taking two whole days off.

Just because of some spurious public cringefest.

I'm siding firmly with the Bank of England governor who warned that last year's government-enforced extra bank holiday for the royal wedding had already cost the country billions in lost output and revenues.

And that the two day Diamond Jubilee holiday would inflict similar wreckage that the taxpayer just cannot afford.

Still, as a good employer I've awarded myself a few extra noggins of vital fluids this afternoon.

Cheers and bottoms up everybody.

Yeah, she's toast alright.

Paxman branded 'disrespectful' for comparing Greek financial plight to a 'bad kebab being vomited out of the Euro'

Daily Maul tonight

Hahaha! Classic omen

Diamond Jubilee Tube train was faulty

A Tube train that broke down in a tunnel stranding 733 passengers was a special Diamond Jubilee train, Transport for London (TfL) has said.

Passengers were led down down the track after the train stopped on the Jubilee line at about 17:35 BST near St John's Wood, in north-west London.--------------------

The train is one of two bearing bunting decorations to mark the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-18189064



People delayed by the Jubilee line failure included some of the Queen's guests for her Diamond Jubilee celebration at the Royal Academy of Arts attended by hundreds of celebrities from worlds of music, dance and art.

There was no service from 5.30 pm onwards between London Bridge and Finchley Road on the busy line used by more than 600,000 passengers a day.

Choreographer and coach Christopher Hampson was one of those delayed. He Tweeted: "How ironic of Jubilee line to have massively severe delay as I'm on way to celebrate the Jubilee with the Queen."


http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/transport/video-with-just-64-days-to-go-before-the-london-2012-olympics-gets-under-way--a-nightmare-for-thousands-of-commuters-7784613.html

Thames jubilee pageant. And all the other jubilee trainwreck events.

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Quote: radiogagger


^^ Did i miss something? Bet on what?

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The whole daft freakshow, especially the boat race.

I know of at least two other lawsuits similar to this one, in the UK and in the US.

Another concerns a private prosecution where all the relevant data - as described in the Telegraph story - was obtained by private commercial investigators.

As I understand it some elements of that trolling case forms part of the huge ongoing police mobile hacking probe.



HOPE to post an update on this later in the week.

Betcha a fiver it will never happen, heheh...Bookies will lose a fortune if any more bets are placed.

Sorry can't copy pix, but here's the link anyway

'Two wives' Tory chief given tag

The former leader of the Conservative Party on Slough Borough Council who admitted having two wives at the same time is to be electronically tagged.

Beeb story


Excellent solution, should be rolled out to all bigamists in the ConLibDem front benches.

Absolutely nothing wrong with having a fast breeder in the basement, the Pentagon's got one after all.

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Quote: Tommy Twinkle

One hopes so!

However, his 'Heads in the sand, knees on the ground' tells me he is not quite the 'fruit and nut case' some want him to be.

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On a par with Kate Middleton in terms of daftness.

Total charlatan, con artist and fantasist.

Plenty more insults available on request.

Woman launches legal action to identify Facebook trolls A woman abused on the internet so badly that she was falsely portrayed as a paedophile has launched a landmark legal action to bring her tormentors to justice.


Could be a defining legal move.

As long it's wholesome ice cream they're putting in their mouths I don't mind.

Good find, glad the gang's still got its clothes on.

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Quote: Maria Rios

Oh crickey...such pressure. Is there a time limit to come up with something before you're shown the door?

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Most writers who join this site manage to squeeze one out in the first few days.

Very few just hang around the Forums, or imagine they're being 'shown the door'.

Always a good sign to read an example of a newby's spoofery, that's the whole point of this website.

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Quote: Maria Rios

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When are you going to write your first Spoof story, Maria?


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Cannabis worth thousands left at Oxfam shop
Bag shock for volunteers


A HUGE haul of cannabis with a a street value of several thousands of pounds has been left at an Oxfam shop.

The anonymous donation was forwarded on to the charity's depot and staff there alerted police.

Lorraine Needham-Brinley, production manager at the depot, said: "Staff were suspicious because of a very pungent smell and when they opened this bag they found a big stash of cannabis wrapped in a large bath sheet.

"What was surprising was that it was so fresh it must have been picked off the plant that morning."

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4267513/Cannabis-worth-thousands-left-at-Oxfam-shop.html