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From General Discussion / What do you bring to a relationship?
Posted 3 Sep 12 16:07
Message
Being a cat, I bring a fur coat, an ability to purr when
pleased, an ability to hit High-C when displeased, and
extraordinary mousing skills.

Actually, I am currently homeless.
Life on the street is getting me down. Any takers out there?


Love and Purrs,
Aubergine

 
From General Discussion / All Alone
Posted 11 Aug 12 21:34
Message


I'm watching a dog agility competition.

A cat would never do something that stupid ...

 
From General Discussion / All Alone
Posted 11 Aug 12 20:57
Message


I seem to be the only person checked into the forums at the moment. Never happened to me before.

Where is everybody? What are you all doing? What??



 
From General Discussion / Gardening With Mr & Mrs CJ
Posted 10 Jul 12 23:23
Message


I have just developed a blue rose.

It's blossoms are an exquisite shade of sapphire blue.

Does anyone think it has a marketing potential?

 
From General Discussion / New Technology for Men
Posted 29 Nov 11 13:12
Message

Gentlemen:

It seems that a new technology has been developed for you to avoid urinal boredom.

Good luck to whoever can score the most points!


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-15923438




 
From News Discussion / Dorking Gardener Grows GM Black Pudding
Posted 24 Nov 11 12:16
Message


Love the whimsey of this piece.

5 Aubergines from me, of course.

 
From General Discussion / Spoof Twitter Game
Posted 19 Nov 11 11:53
Message


Got wakened up at 4am by cat wanting to eat. Considered killing cat.

Aubergine

 
From General Discussion / This Has Gone Too Far - Somebody Has To Speak Out!
Posted 23 Oct 11 20:34
Message
The Bears won the game. I'm a Bear fan.

The announcers were complaining that they went to visit Stonehenge only to find that it was closed.

There's supposed to be talk that a football team might be located in London. The stadium looked to be filled and the crowd was enthusiastic.



 
From General Discussion / This Has Gone Too Far - Somebody Has To Speak Out!
Posted 23 Oct 11 20:12
Message
Have you Brits thought of following American football ... the real way football is supposed to be played.

I am watching the game between the Chicago Bears and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers which is being played at Wembly Stadium in London.

Real men play football!

 
From News Discussion / Beethoven's "Worthing" Symphony Discovered In Vienna
Posted 11 Sep 11 23:26
Message


Very nice indeed.

Do you perhaps have the "inside scoop" on the lost Vivaldi Flute Concerto recently found in the archives of an 18th century Scottish nobleman?

The concerto is supposed to be from Vivaldi's late period.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Life Still Sucks But My Vacuum Doesn't! The Day my Dyson Died!
Posted 28 Jul 11 20:34
Message
I really enjoyed this ...

I needed a good laugh considering what a crap day I've had as we got nearly 11 inches of rain in an equal number of hours.

Wonder if the Dyson would suck up rainwater?

 
From General Discussion / Women's World Cup Soccer
Posted 10 Jul 11 19:17
Message


Congratulations to the USA for defeating Brazil in what can only be described as an epic match. Wow!!

Now for France next ...

 
From General Discussion / Women's World Cup Soccer
Posted 9 Jul 11 19:58
Message
Looks like England's women's team can't do penalty kicks (or whatever you call them) any better than the men.

What a sad loss after they hung in there for so long.

 
From Magazine Discussion / An Embarrassing Lunch
Posted 3 Jul 11 17:10
Message


I well remember the day when my junior high school cafeteria decided to serve pig's liver for lunch.

Needless to say, not one single student ate the liver. There were two huge garbage cans filled with the uneaten liver.

Pig's liver was NEVER served again in the school lunch program.

 
From General Discussion / Women's World Cup Soccer
Posted 26 Jun 11 14:04
Message


Are any of you gents here watching the ladies play World Cup soccer?

What do you Brits think of England's chances?

 
From News Discussion / Larry The Downing Street Cat Kills His First Rat
Posted 22 Jun 11 23:13
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Nice to know one of my fellow felines has excellent hunting skills.

5 dead rats from me ... well sort of

 
From Magazine Discussion / Alf Boulder Awakens King Arthur & His Knights Of the Round Table
Posted 13 Jun 11 15:34
Message


I absolutely loved this ... hope you'll continue with the saga.

 
From General Discussion / Form-Nadal
Posted 5 Jun 11 22:45
Message
Those screeching female tennis players should have their vocal chords clipped.

Most fans I know watch with the sound off on their TV sets.


P.S. Congratulations to Rafa on his well-deserved victory!

 
From News Discussion / SuBo fanatic marries cardboard cut-out!
Posted 14 May 11 11:08
Message


If only they knew how truly vile the fanatics really are ...

Never cease to amaze me ...

 
From News Discussion / Twitter Bird Killed By House Cat
Posted 10 Apr 11 22:08
Message


Hello Good Human --

My compliments on an adorable story and hats off to my fellow feline, Ginger, on a job well done.

Love and Purrs,

Aubergine

 
From News Discussion / Igglepiggle steals the Susan Boyle birthday quilt. Isn't he naughty, UpsyDaisy?
Posted 26 Feb 11 23:22
Message


Have now looked at a couple of videos of In the Night Garden. Seems quite charming.

At least it's better than watching Dora the Explorer.

 
From News Discussion / Igglepiggle steals the Susan Boyle birthday quilt. Isn't he naughty, UpsyDaisy?
Posted 26 Feb 11 23:07
Message
That umpteenth quilt has certainly taken on a life of its own!

 
From Magazine Discussion / Just a wee chat from a Spoof Writer who is also a Susan Boyle fan but knows nowt about Justin Beiber, Missie Cyrus and the rest of the so called 'celebrities'
Posted 1 Feb 11 14:20
Message


According to CJ (and I'm not sure if he is putting me on or
being straightforward) veggie vendors in Britain don't write out the word "aubergine" when displaying aubergines but use the abbreviation "obo."

Should I believe him?


 
From Magazine Discussion / Just a wee chat from a Spoof Writer who is also a Susan Boyle fan but knows nowt about Justin Beiber, Missie Cyrus and the rest of the so called 'celebrities'
Posted 1 Feb 11 03:14
Message


Lady G --

Glad you figured out what CJ means by Obo ... could you

enlighten me ... I get lost in that dialect some of the Brit

writers use from time to time.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Just a wee chat from a Spoof Writer who is also a Susan Boyle fan but knows nowt about Justin Beiber, Missie Cyrus and the rest of the so called 'celebrities'
Posted 30 Jan 11 19:15
Message


Lady G --

It's not really nasty. Just a take on today's Australian Open final in which Andy Murray (from Scotland in case you don't follow tennis) lost in a rather lackluster performance.

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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Jack Van Gump
Jack Van Gump
Joined: 21 May 2004
Stories Written: 9

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