All times are GMT

Forum Home / Forum posts by Dr. Billingsgate


11 Pages - «« « 2 3 [4] 5 6 » »»
From General Discussion / Stormy Weather
Posted 31 Jan 17 22:47
Message
Only if there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

 
From General Discussion / Big Watch = Little Dick
Posted 31 Jan 17 22:43
Message
True or False?

 
From General Discussion / Parched Lips
Posted 1 Jan 17 22:43
Message
Does anyone have a remedy for parched lips? Heard that chicken-shit offered some relief. Doesn't cure, but does seem to offer topical relief providing you don't lick them.

 
From General Discussion / Carrie Fisher
Posted 1 Jan 17 04:01
Message
I regret to inform you that Dr. Billingsgate is no longer with us. Pursuant to his demise he was the unlikely victim of a pigeon drop. Wikileaks reported that his twelve doctorates were "more than likely bogus." Heartbroken that his scam had been exposed, Dr B resigned from his post as major domo of the Exchequer General of Quasimodo Trust and is now back to his outpost in the Galápagos Islands gathering bat guano and watching giant tortoises breed with natives indigenous to the island.

 
From News Discussion / Prisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary helps local murderer escape
Posted 17 Dec 16 04:21
Message
Doc, Your input is invaluable. Please send me your tripe recipe. My cat is getting tired of eating Merrick's turducken and grandma's special Thanksgiving feast.

It's nice that you agree with my critique of that story. Too little too late, however.

 
From News Discussion / Prisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary helps local murderer escape
Posted 16 Dec 16 23:03
Message
I didn't mind the names being vacuous and puerile, the f..king story should have never been approved. Anyone who would write such egregious tripe should have his credentials pulled. In fact, if I were a horse, I would personally horse whip the jackass who approved this story.

Other than that, as long as the story was based on an actual incident, the author deserves some credit for sociopathic plagiarism.

I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings.

Dr. B

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 23 Nov 16 23:34
Message
Unfortunately, I live in a blue colored state that is an integral part of DumbFUCKistan. There is some talk about seceding from the Union. There goes my Social Security.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 21 Nov 16 00:55
Message
For some reason I suspect that you could possibly be a far left robotic liberal. To make sure you're not, would you please identify the following letters: TrUmP WiNs!

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 16 Nov 16 03:27
Message
Trump won fair and square. White, college educated women liked him because he was prettier than Hillary; something the pollsters failed to take into account. Also, women like men who talk dirty and grab their privates without asking permission. Freud was right, and because of Trump, pinch mouth prudes have been liberated from a life of quiet desperation.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 14 Nov 16 01:23
Message
My condolences. I understand that Hillary shakes a good hand. She might have made you a caddy to carry all of Bubba's baggage. Don't worry. You can still visit her in prison.

 
From General Discussion / I don't care about anything any more.
Posted 7 Nov 16 03:20
Message
Don't give up. Help is on its way. Trump will drain the swamp.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 6 Nov 16 23:07
Message
I have been told that I look very debonair wearing my Trump "Make America Great Again" hat. I wear it with the slogan pointed backwards so I can't see who is mocking me. Much better than walking around with a Hillary "Reverse Osmosis Douche Bag" sucking my vital juices out of me.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 5 Nov 16 22:21
Message
Mike, Sorry to hear you are voting for Hillary. Must inform you that I have no liberal friends. Having said that, I sincerely hope that you live in a state which allows you to change your vote if you realize you made a mistake. As for taking on partners, Milo Minderbinder and I have a common bond that can never be broken; a love for specious deals that obviates the need for quasi-speculative adventures.

As for Erskin, the only spiritual outlet that he has revealed in his writings is his hat fetish. As one dimensional as he is, don't take his lack of interest in you personally. I think Skoob might be the only other writer he admires, mainly because Skoob is a closet haberdasher.

This should be all that you will ever need to know about non-millennial writers such as Erskin and myself.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 4 Nov 16 14:43
Message
Mike, I take back the part where I describe you as a gentleman of good breeding. The fact that you agree with me illustrates my point. Regarding the Montana Pole, I am already collaborating with Milo Minderbinder on the distribution of royalties in exchange for participation in his latest scheme to bilk Erskin by cornering the cowboy hat market in Texas. Do you want part of the action?

Best...Dr. B

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 2 Nov 16 12:35
Message
Mike. You seem to be a gentleman of good breeding and correct resolution. I have had a drink or two; so what I am rambling about may seem counter intuitive. Flawless logic has never been my strong point. But when it comes to anthropomorphic symbolism, I have no peer. When describing the interaction between a woman and a horse, I understand the sexual symbolism of a saddle horn and a woman' s vagina.

But enough of that. What about the "Montana Pole?" For lonely shepherds of that eponymous state, it was absolutely essential. Easily assembled by even a bumbling fool, a mirror was hung from the prongs of a pitchfork. After mounting a sheep from behind, the hapless shepherd would dangle the mirror in front of the darling sheep's head to see if the sheep were smiling.

What this has to do with Hillary and Vladimir riding a horse together with matching Erskin hats is why Dr. Billingsgate is a legend and the fucking horse is not.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 31 Oct 16 14:56
Message
Sorry about perceived bestiality connotation. I meant to say, "I would like to see Hillary go down with the horse." Sloppy writing. Never drink and write.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 25 Oct 16 22:26
Message
If Lady Godzila and Vladimir rode the same horse, it would be the greatest concentration of horse shit the world has ever seen on four legs. If Erskin had his way, they both would be wearing hats. I would like to see Hillary go down on the horse. Evidently, she goes both ways. Hope the horse is related to Mr. Ed so he can talk about it. Even so, a video would count as the long awaited October surprise.

 
From General Discussion / 'Mark' looks like Marcia...
Posted 20 Sep 16 20:01
Message
I know what Mark looks like. It's not his looks that bothers me. For some reason, he has decided that I'm irrelevant. Engaged in a tertiary boycott at this time.

 
From General Discussion / Packers and Movers Gurgaon movers5th corporations create less of a challenge
Posted 22 Aug 16 21:21
Message
WTF? 5

 
From General Discussion / Packers and Movers Gurgaon movers5th corporations create less of a challenge
Posted 22 Aug 16 21:07
Message
WTF? 4

 
From General Discussion / Packers and Movers Pune The exact specialized corporations connected
Posted 22 Aug 16 21:05
Message
WTF? 3

 
From General Discussion / Packers and Movers Delhi To help you definitely change your home
Posted 22 Aug 16 21:04
Message
WTF? 2

 
From General Discussion / Movers and Packers Pune Normally check with a couple of packers plus movers
Posted 22 Aug 16 21:02
Message
WTF?

 
From General Discussion / Pole Vaulting
Posted 20 Aug 16 20:57
Message
Are you referring to the invasion of Poland by Germany in September 1939? As the Nazi tanks crossed over the Polish border, the exercise was called "Pole Vaulting" by the Germans.

 
From General Discussion / Pole Vaulting
Posted 20 Aug 16 01:21
Message
Yes. Anthony Weiner, while pole vaulting out of bed, impaled himself when his shaft failed to spring back upon going over the bar. His wife, Huma, fearing for his safety, took measures into her own hands by gorilla glueing his testicles to the bed frame, thus saving him from future accidents. Because of archaic public decency issues, this sport was not included in the current Olympics, having been replaced by golf.

 
11 Pages - «« « 2 3 [4] 5 6 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Who is online?

There is 1 registered user currently online: none are active , 1 is currently inactive .

Users online:

Profile Featured Writer

Trinculoman
Trinculoman
Joined: 23 January 2014
Stories Written: 26
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more