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From General Discussion / Ways To Avoid Becoming a Corpse
Posted 26 Feb 17 03:29
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Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.

 
From News Discussion / Masochistic satire writer looking forward to another year of indifference to his work
Posted 24 Feb 17 03:04
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I have referred this story to the office of former Senator Estes Kefauver who was accused of being a "fellow traveler," and working for "the pinkos and communists with the stealth of a raccoon."

 
From General Discussion / Imagine My Chagrin
Posted 22 Feb 17 01:38
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Would a codpiece work better than the haddock?

 
From General Discussion / Owls of the World I: The Lesser Sooty Owl
Posted 21 Feb 17 19:10
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Quote: Jaggedone

Dr.B, I would radish a whip of equestrian sublimity as long as it's sitting on a mare!


How can anything be so profound, yet be so absolutely subliminal? You have a gift that defies reason. Keep up the good work!

 
From General Discussion / Owls of the World I: The Lesser Sooty Owl
Posted 21 Feb 17 16:31
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Quote: Jaggedone

I swiveled my head once and a screw let loose...


I highly resemble that statement. I have horse-whipped men for less.

 
From General Discussion / Owls of the World I: The Lesser Sooty Owl
Posted 21 Feb 17 03:55
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No dissertation on Nubian slaves would be complete without a reference to the Pulitzer Prize winning book by Dr. Billingsgate, "How Nubian Slaves Made Charlemagne Great." I will leave it up to others to rate the contributions of contemporary slave movements.

 
From General Discussion / Will Trade 1 Hillary Bicycle Seat For 2 Merkels
Posted 18 Feb 17 19:55
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Offer good for 24 hours only!

 
From General Discussion / National Security Advisor Wanted
Posted 18 Feb 17 03:03
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Sorry! I am waiting for the Animal Husbandry position to be opened up. Just between you and me, it's just another job, but someone has to step up and do it.

 
From General Discussion / National Security Advisor Wanted
Posted 17 Feb 17 16:11
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Dr. B once held a TOP SECRET clearance. My bonafides also include not 10, not 11, but 12 doctorates. If needed, I could easily exchange one of them for a doctorate in Russian languages, with a certificate proclaiming my completion of language studies of all Russian dialects with the exception of Ural Mountain Swahili. This particular dialect is still used by descendants of the Kenyan slaves who were brought to Russia to do jobs that Bolsheviks wouldn't.

Though eminently qualified, I will refuse the job.

 
From General Discussion / Why Corliss Archer Is A Sex Symbol After 65 Years?
Posted 16 Feb 17 01:50
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Quote: Erskin Quint

I remember Doris Archer.


You should. He was Corliss Archer's quasi husband before that type of relationship was legal. This was back in 1951, when war brides started to become disillusioned by having to milk cows and gather eggs for their hay-shaking husbands who captured them and considered them spoils of war just because they sported Hitler mustaches beneath their bridal veils.

 
From General Discussion / Heavy Vetting
Posted 15 Feb 17 02:56
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Is that what a Jewish gambler does when he places a bet with his bookie?

 
From General Discussion / Why Corliss Archer Is A Sex Symbol After 65 Years?
Posted 14 Feb 17 03:25
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I still treasure one of her signed bicycle seats which is mounted on my wall. Does anyone else remember her?

 
From General Discussion / Apple's Tim Cook Says Fake News Destroys Minds
Posted 13 Feb 17 01:48
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I read that Tim Cook wears Fruit Of The Loom knee length knitted boxers to his board meetings. If this is fake news, I will eat his shorts.

 
From General Discussion / Big Watch = Little Dick
Posted 7 Feb 17 17:41
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Quote: Monkey Woods

Does it follow that men with small watches have big dicks, and that men with very small watches have very big dicks?

What about those watches on a chain?

And, what does it mean if a lady has a big watch? Is she tight as fuck?


Obviously, you have never had a course in basic logic. If I had said" Every one wearing a big watch has a little dick," you might conclude that if Lady Gaga wore a big watch, she would have a little dick. Unless you believe a clitoris is a small dick, this type of syllogism would beg a carve out for obvious reasons.

It might be worth mentioning that Dr. B has a doctorate in Logic; quite indispensable when providing the last word in such matters.

 
From General Discussion / Big Watch = Little Dick
Posted 4 Feb 17 03:30
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Based on a survey conducted at the U and I Club in Olongapo, Philippines in 1967, 9 out of 10 hostesses who worked there said it was TRUE. The Navy SEALS who frequented this notorious club during the Vietnam War wore large Rolex watches for their underwater missions. The girls in the bar would tease them by shouting at them, "Big Watch, Little Dick!" Although I wasn't a SEAL, I witnessed this exchange of cultural viewpoints first hand. They also said SEALS were bum fucks. Obviously, everyone involved was drinking and having a good time.

Just another war story courtesy of Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Stormy Weather
Posted 31 Jan 17 22:47
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Only if there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

 
From General Discussion / Big Watch = Little Dick
Posted 31 Jan 17 22:43
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True or False?

 
From General Discussion / Parched Lips
Posted 1 Jan 17 22:43
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Does anyone have a remedy for parched lips? Heard that chicken-shit offered some relief. Doesn't cure, but does seem to offer topical relief providing you don't lick them.

 
From General Discussion / Carrie Fisher
Posted 1 Jan 17 04:01
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I regret to inform you that Dr. Billingsgate is no longer with us. Pursuant to his demise he was the unlikely victim of a pigeon drop. Wikileaks reported that his twelve doctorates were "more than likely bogus." Heartbroken that his scam had been exposed, Dr B resigned from his post as major domo of the Exchequer General of Quasimodo Trust and is now back to his outpost in the Galápagos Islands gathering bat guano and watching giant tortoises breed with natives indigenous to the island.

 
From News Discussion / Prisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary helps local murderer escape
Posted 17 Dec 16 04:21
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Doc, Your input is invaluable. Please send me your tripe recipe. My cat is getting tired of eating Merrick's turducken and grandma's special Thanksgiving feast.

It's nice that you agree with my critique of that story. Too little too late, however.

 
From News Discussion / Prisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary helps local murderer escape
Posted 16 Dec 16 23:03
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I didn't mind the names being vacuous and puerile, the f..king story should have never been approved. Anyone who would write such egregious tripe should have his credentials pulled. In fact, if I were a horse, I would personally horse whip the jackass who approved this story.

Other than that, as long as the story was based on an actual incident, the author deserves some credit for sociopathic plagiarism.

I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings.

Dr. B

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 23 Nov 16 23:34
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Unfortunately, I live in a blue colored state that is an integral part of DumbFUCKistan. There is some talk about seceding from the Union. There goes my Social Security.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 21 Nov 16 00:55
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For some reason I suspect that you could possibly be a far left robotic liberal. To make sure you're not, would you please identify the following letters: TrUmP WiNs!

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 16 Nov 16 03:27
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Trump won fair and square. White, college educated women liked him because he was prettier than Hillary; something the pollsters failed to take into account. Also, women like men who talk dirty and grab their privates without asking permission. Freud was right, and because of Trump, pinch mouth prudes have been liberated from a life of quiet desperation.

 
From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 14 Nov 16 01:23
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My condolences. I understand that Hillary shakes a good hand. She might have made you a caddy to carry all of Bubba's baggage. Don't worry. You can still visit her in prison.

 
11 Pages - « 1 2 [3] 4 5 » »»
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