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From General Discussion / Why Is Sanger Rainsford Being Vilified By Liberals Today?
Posted 16 Mar 17 21:33
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Quote: Erskin Quint

Well I for one don't understand a word.


Even so, why was it necessary for you to say so? Writers have feelings, too.

 
From General Discussion / Brain Surgery
Posted 16 Mar 17 16:55
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Quote: Monkey Woods

Seems like a logical step.
.

You don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure that out. Good work!

 
From General Discussion / Brain Surgery
Posted 16 Mar 17 02:35
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Brain surgery is not for hacks. However, most taxidermists can do it in their sleep if given the chance. Currently, the AMA controls most medical procedures in order to make it impossible for other professionals to make a decent living. I believe that President Trump will recognize the Taxidermy profession for what it is; potentially the way to provide easy access to brain surgery before the condition is diagnosed by your spouse.

 
From General Discussion / Eithiopian Rubbish Landslide Kills 48
Posted 14 Mar 17 03:06
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This story has been vetted by the Ethiopian Free Press and found completely lacking in credibility. They have no garbage in Ethiopia. It is a garbage free state and has been since they found the remains of Mulatu Tesho Wirtu in the stomach X-rays of his Prime Minister, Hailemarian Delalegn.

 
From General Discussion / Why Is Sanger Rainsford Being Vilified By Liberals Today?
Posted 14 Mar 17 02:45
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Next to the proliferation of hazelnut douche bags, this could be the next game- changer in the fight of good vs evil. What say you?

 
From General Discussion / Appeal
Posted 10 Mar 17 01:43
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No. But I can get you a copy of Barack Obama's Kenya birth certificate as provided by his half- brother, Malik. Much more important than you might think. Could render last 8 years meaningless.

 
From News Discussion / Headteacher defends school uniform stance
Posted 7 Mar 17 03:11
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That's exactly why young girls should wear underwear. If you send your little sweetheart to an underwear optional school, don't be surprised if a prevert slips through the cracks.

 
From General Discussion / Ways To Avoid Becoming a Corpse
Posted 7 Mar 17 01:14
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Quote: victor nicholas

Trump seems to have lost the eastern hemisphere of his brain but it has not changed him whatsoever.


Quote: Erskin Quint

There are people who have lost a hemisphere of their brain and yet they remain the same 'person'. Or do they?



Trump cherishes his eastern hemisphere, as well as he should.

 
From General Discussion / Ways To Avoid Becoming a Corpse
Posted 6 Mar 17 23:23
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Quote: Monkey Woods

Sir,

If true, this is one of the most amazing things I have ever had the pleasure to read, and all my initial thoughts about you being a talentless moron, I would have to re-evaluate.

Regards,

Gladys Penis
Epsom


I am sorry to say that the story is true. There are some variations to the details. However, the story is well documented if you wish to check it out. Many thanks for your unconditional love.

Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Ways To Avoid Becoming a Corpse
Posted 6 Mar 17 15:38
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Baseball legend, Ted Williams, had his head cryogenically frozen after his death, just in case science would eventually be able to restore his facilities. The firm that provided this service kept his head in a deep freeze vault. His chilled out head was mounted on a discarded tuna can and was used as target practice by bored employees who tired of waiting for Ted's head to reveal the secret to his batting prowess.

 
From General Discussion / Ways To Avoid Becoming a Corpse
Posted 26 Feb 17 03:29
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Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.

 
From News Discussion / Masochistic satire writer looking forward to another year of indifference to his work
Posted 24 Feb 17 03:04
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I have referred this story to the office of former Senator Estes Kefauver who was accused of being a "fellow traveler," and working for "the pinkos and communists with the stealth of a raccoon."

 
From General Discussion / Imagine My Chagrin
Posted 22 Feb 17 01:38
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Would a codpiece work better than the haddock?

 
From General Discussion / Owls of the World I: The Lesser Sooty Owl
Posted 21 Feb 17 19:10
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Quote: Jaggedone

Dr.B, I would radish a whip of equestrian sublimity as long as it's sitting on a mare!


How can anything be so profound, yet be so absolutely subliminal? You have a gift that defies reason. Keep up the good work!

 
From General Discussion / Owls of the World I: The Lesser Sooty Owl
Posted 21 Feb 17 16:31
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Quote: Jaggedone

I swiveled my head once and a screw let loose...


I highly resemble that statement. I have horse-whipped men for less.

 
From General Discussion / Owls of the World I: The Lesser Sooty Owl
Posted 21 Feb 17 03:55
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No dissertation on Nubian slaves would be complete without a reference to the Pulitzer Prize winning book by Dr. Billingsgate, "How Nubian Slaves Made Charlemagne Great." I will leave it up to others to rate the contributions of contemporary slave movements.

 
From General Discussion / Will Trade 1 Hillary Bicycle Seat For 2 Merkels
Posted 18 Feb 17 19:55
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Offer good for 24 hours only!

 
From General Discussion / National Security Advisor Wanted
Posted 18 Feb 17 03:03
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Sorry! I am waiting for the Animal Husbandry position to be opened up. Just between you and me, it's just another job, but someone has to step up and do it.

 
From General Discussion / National Security Advisor Wanted
Posted 17 Feb 17 16:11
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Dr. B once held a TOP SECRET clearance. My bonafides also include not 10, not 11, but 12 doctorates. If needed, I could easily exchange one of them for a doctorate in Russian languages, with a certificate proclaiming my completion of language studies of all Russian dialects with the exception of Ural Mountain Swahili. This particular dialect is still used by descendants of the Kenyan slaves who were brought to Russia to do jobs that Bolsheviks wouldn't.

Though eminently qualified, I will refuse the job.

 
From General Discussion / Why Corliss Archer Is A Sex Symbol After 65 Years?
Posted 16 Feb 17 01:50
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Quote: Erskin Quint

I remember Doris Archer.


You should. He was Corliss Archer's quasi husband before that type of relationship was legal. This was back in 1951, when war brides started to become disillusioned by having to milk cows and gather eggs for their hay-shaking husbands who captured them and considered them spoils of war just because they sported Hitler mustaches beneath their bridal veils.

 
From General Discussion / Heavy Vetting
Posted 15 Feb 17 02:56
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Is that what a Jewish gambler does when he places a bet with his bookie?

 
From General Discussion / Why Corliss Archer Is A Sex Symbol After 65 Years?
Posted 14 Feb 17 03:25
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I still treasure one of her signed bicycle seats which is mounted on my wall. Does anyone else remember her?

 
From General Discussion / Apple's Tim Cook Says Fake News Destroys Minds
Posted 13 Feb 17 01:48
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I read that Tim Cook wears Fruit Of The Loom knee length knitted boxers to his board meetings. If this is fake news, I will eat his shorts.

 
From General Discussion / Big Watch = Little Dick
Posted 7 Feb 17 17:41
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Quote: Monkey Woods

Does it follow that men with small watches have big dicks, and that men with very small watches have very big dicks?

What about those watches on a chain?

And, what does it mean if a lady has a big watch? Is she tight as fuck?


Obviously, you have never had a course in basic logic. If I had said" Every one wearing a big watch has a little dick," you might conclude that if Lady Gaga wore a big watch, she would have a little dick. Unless you believe a clitoris is a small dick, this type of syllogism would beg a carve out for obvious reasons.

It might be worth mentioning that Dr. B has a doctorate in Logic; quite indispensable when providing the last word in such matters.

 
From General Discussion / Big Watch = Little Dick
Posted 4 Feb 17 03:30
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Based on a survey conducted at the U and I Club in Olongapo, Philippines in 1967, 9 out of 10 hostesses who worked there said it was TRUE. The Navy SEALS who frequented this notorious club during the Vietnam War wore large Rolex watches for their underwater missions. The girls in the bar would tease them by shouting at them, "Big Watch, Little Dick!" Although I wasn't a SEAL, I witnessed this exchange of cultural viewpoints first hand. They also said SEALS were bum fucks. Obviously, everyone involved was drinking and having a good time.

Just another war story courtesy of Dr. B

 
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