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From General Discussion / You Know You're Getting Old When...
Posted 2 Sep 11 18:18
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When you receive a notice from your high-school class of an up-coming reunion posthumously.

 
From News Discussion / Amy Winehouse Death Connected to American Debt Ceiling and Monkee's Reunion!
Posted 29 Jul 11 17:36
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Quote: Skoob1999

Race?

I didn't know she was a runner.

Maybe she trained with Usain Bolt during her Caribbeam sojourns...

You learn something new every day...

Just sayin'

Regards

Skoob.


Skoob,

You're parsing me again. I believe she was leading the self-demolition derby when she punched out.

Best,

Dr. B

 
From News Discussion / Amy Winehouse Death Connected to American Debt Ceiling and Monkee's Reunion!
Posted 29 Jul 11 17:32
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Quote: Skoob1999

Race?

I didn't know she was a runner.

Maybe she trained with Usain Bolt during her Caribbeam sojourns...

You learn something new every day...

Just sayin'

Regards

Skoob.


 
From News Discussion / Amy Winehouse Death Connected to American Debt Ceiling and Monkee's Reunion!
Posted 28 Jul 11 23:05
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I will miss Amy Winehouse. She was a great example for young girls everywhere. A credit to her race.

 
From General Discussion / NHS Revisited
Posted 28 Jul 11 16:21
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Quote: IainB

Everything's fine.

Most people in the country now have two artificial hips, and don't need any more.

Walk me through this, please.

There are very few tonsils left any more.

Talk me through this, please.

Thanks to the increase in laser eye surgery, nobody has cateracts either.

I see, thank you.

The numbers are declining not because of a problem, but because the NHS is so efficient.

Either that, or because it's killing all the ill off.

Not a problem until you run out of victims.

Iain



 
From General Discussion / NHS Revisited
Posted 28 Jul 11 14:26
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According to an article in The Independent, certain procedures such as hip replacements, tonsillectomies, and cataract surguries are being severely curtailed. We discussed this a couple of months ago. Most of you from UK described yourself as very satisfied with your NHS. Has anything changed over there?

 
From General Discussion / Wombats
Posted 27 Jul 11 01:54
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I thought that wombats was a state of mind, not a marsupial. If I understand you, having a pouch to carry your young is the defining ingredient. This is complete bullshit. I have a pouch, but I have never carried nothing in it. Please redefine marsupial.

Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Wombats
Posted 26 Jul 11 21:55
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In the late 60's I shared an apartment with an avowed wombat. All she did at night was have sex with her accordian while singing the latest Janis Joplin hits. Drove me crazy because I was into the Kingston Trio at the time.

 
From News Discussion / Anthropologist Discovers Primitive Man Could Hover While Having Sex With Giant Hummingbirds
Posted 13 Jul 11 17:02
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Quote: mikewadestr

Wait a minute. You can still have sex with little hummingbirds today! I mean if your like really, really small. Not that this includes me mind you or that I have ever tried. I mean, those fuckers move pretty damn quick. Well, at least that is what I hear. I'm just saying.



I stand by my story. Unless you can hover for at least 10 seconds, you just as well be celibate.

DR. B

 
From News Discussion / Killer Banana Splits After Attacking Gorilla In Ohio
Posted 12 Jul 11 23:08
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Thanks! I really appreciate your comments. Fame is so fleeting. It is my belief that you are only as good or bad as your last story.

Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Would You Marry A Lap Dancer? For Men And Women Only
Posted 2 Jul 11 23:24
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I consider Florida the lap-dancing capital of the world. When visiting a friend for a three day golf outing, he noticed I had near terminal chingas (shakes) on the putting green the first day. Afterwards, over a couple of gin and tonics, he suggested a cure that he f..king guaranteed would work to calm my nerves.

Just a couple of miles from the course we stopped at a nondescript, roadside pavillion with a parking lot full of big-wheeled pickups and a few luxury sedans. With little ceremony we stepped into the joint through a heavy curtain, and to my surprise, we were immediately surrounded by a bevy of totally nude nymphet sparrows of different colors and creeds; all claiming to have the cure for my nervous disorder. One, who was pigmented considerably darker than myself and who also out-weighed me by a stone or so, was so insistent that I take her up on her cure that I finally slipped her a twenty, just to get rid of her.

For some reason she got pissed, possibly because she thought me a racist for not choosing her over a blond that was more my type. Anyway, she threw the twenty back at me and told me to stuff it where the sun don't shine. That was easy, her not having any clothes on. The next thing you know, the bouncer was in my face and all hell broke loose. My old Navy buddy, Nick the Greek, a man of some connections in the underworld, didn't take shit from nobody. Bedlam! All I could see was assholes and elbows flying through the air with a few boobs also in the mix.

Somehow, we got the hell out of there somewhat intact. Next day, I made everything inside 8 feet. My buddy was right. He fixed my chingas....True story!



 
From General Discussion / Would You Marry A Lap Dancer? For Men And Women Only
Posted 30 Jun 11 21:16
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Head for the round house, Nelly. He can't corn-hole you there.

 
From General Discussion / Would You Marry A Lap Dancer? For Men And Women Only
Posted 16 Jun 11 16:07
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Quote: Lynton

Lap dancers are only useful for people in wheelchairs


Is that why most guys ask for a wheelchair after their lap dance?

 
From General Discussion / Would You Marry A Lap Dancer? For Men And Women Only
Posted 16 Jun 11 16:04
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Quote: Skoob1999

Sorry

Thought it said 'Laplander'

Carry on.


Skoob, I am beginning to think that you are a troublemaker. Stop dodging the question.

Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Would You Marry A Lap Dancer? For Men And Women Only
Posted 15 Jun 11 15:35
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Quote: Lady Godiva

Careful what you say guys! It's known by many that I used to be a lap-dancer but was fired after two nights because - the men said the taps on the bottom of my shoes played havoc with their knees


Lady Godiva:

Evidently the guys aren't biting today. It appears that we have a bunch of pinch mouth prudes who won't touch this topic with a 10 foot pole for fear of offending dancers like you.

Regards, Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Would You Marry A Lap Dancer? For Men And Women Only
Posted 14 Jun 11 22:43
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I know that most men, because of their concupiscible nature, are attracted to forbidden fruits. Anyone who has stumbled into a strip joint with his buddies knows what I am talking about. That being said, would you automatically classify the hard-working gal who is grinding away on your loins a floozy, not fit to be introduced to your Mom and Dad as your future wife?

 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 14 Jun 11 21:12
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Quote: Inhopeless

For God's sake, Steven Hawking - the smartest man on Earth -says that the NHS has saved his life three times! His wheelchair was part-paid with public taxes!


I would like to go mano y mano with that commie pinko bastard. If you have a chance to talk to him, tell him I would tie six of my Doctorates behind my back, just to make it a fair fight.

Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 14 Jun 11 04:46
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It is a fact that the US taxpayer cannot absorb most of the costs of protecting NATO countries, who spend virtually nothing on their own defense, and also provide UHC for its own citizens. Just last week, retiring Sec. of Defense Robert Gates pointed out that NATO cannot survive if America has to carry a disproportionate amount of the load.

Although most Americans are coming to the realization that we can't intercede in nation building for raghead countries who seem destined to live in the middle-ages, we also understand that is where the ideology exists that wants us all dead.

Tough decisions have to be made in the Middle-East. Should NATO be interceding in Libya? The US again is shouldering most of the costs, which amounts to billions of dollars that we have to put on our national credit card because we don't have the money in the bank.

 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 13 Jun 11 22:58
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Skoob,

If I get sick or have to seek long term medical care, can I move to the UK and receive care without having to pay anything, no questions asked?

The reason I ask is that we have millions of illegals coming across our border, many who have their babies in our hospitals or who seek emergency treatment, and they don't have to pay one centavo.

I would hope that you in the UK would be humanitarian enough to allow for this since you could expect the same treatment if you happened to penetrate our wide open border and needed medical care.

If we only had to pay for our own citizens, I believe that UHC might work here too.

Regards,

Doctor B

 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 13 Jun 11 20:33
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rfreed:

You seem to be accident prone. I suggest that you move closer to a hospital, or even into one, if possible. I certainly wouldn't live 60 miles from nearest hospital, if I were you.

Also, when you had your kidney stones removed by surgery, how did the doctor scrape your lung and cause it to collapse? The guy ought to have his license revoked, or at least wear glasses when he operates. Those organs are usually difficult to mistake. You should have sued the son-of-a-bitch for malpractice.

Even though these are compelling examples of what is wrong with healthcare in rural America, doesn't Alaska give each resident a $2000 pop just for living there? Couldn't this be used to buy health insurance?

You can trust me cause I'm the Doctor.

 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 13 Jun 11 04:28
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Quote: Lady Godiva

He who speaketh with forked tongue has difficulty being understood.

He who speaketh with silver spoon in mouth also has difficulty being understood.

He who speaketh with 12 doctrates is too clever for ME.



On the other hand, my wife married well beyond her own academic qualifications and feels intimidated when I wear my academic robes and feather headress when we go to sporting events and social gatherings.


 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 10 Jun 11 15:06
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Sounds as if Dr B is overwhelmed by the complexities and difficulties of reality, and instead chooses to focus on doing his best for his immediate loved ones.


The first part of your statement is not true. The reason I am not overwhelmed by the complexities and difficulties of reality is that I understand my finite limitations and leave God's work to God.

Focusing on loved ones comes naturally to most of us except politicians and diletantes.


 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 9 Jun 11 17:46
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"Reality sucks ass."

Erskin,

Sounds like your reality needs to be reframed. Myself, I refuse to dwell on anything that I have no means of changing. I can't stamp out famine in Africa or floods in Montana. I can only try to make myself a better person and take care of myself and family. If I have extra time and energy, I get away by playing golf.

Keep life simple by not playing other people's games.

Regards,

Dr. B



 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 9 Jun 11 14:41
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Quote: Mark

Dr B - Please don't quote whole posts.


Mark,

Another "rope a dope" moment for you. I have notified my ghost writer to comply.

Regards,

Dr. B

 
From General Discussion / Universal Healthcare? Good or Bad?
Posted 9 Jun 11 03:03
Message

Quote: Inhopeless

So wait... the world is an ever-deepening Tim Burton-meets-TV sitcoms-style stage, where everything counts, but nothing does, where I may find true happiness in the form of emptiness, where everything is an odourless TV ad, but reeks of desperation and based on the misery and selfishness of others plus golf?

Reality sucks ass.


Inhopeless,

Please don't include golf in your laundry list of depressing world affairs. It is my only escape from this world's evil. I strongly urge you to take up this wonderful sport if you wish to keep your sanity.

Although it is a very difficult sport to achieve some degree of competence, it is well worth the effort. I have been playing since I was 12 years old. It offers at least 4 hours escape from family, job and other responsibilities. It also offers an opportunity to have very special time with your friends and business associates.

On the other hand, if you really want to dwell on negatives and become depressed, I suggest you read Jean Paul Sartre's Being and Nothingness. It took years for me to recover after reading this piece of philosophic crap.

I wish you the very best in your life experiences.

Dr. B



 
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