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From News Discussion / Sarah Palin to Ban The Year 2013
Posted 26 Jun 11 15:41
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Thank you. I'm a bit worried about the Triskies, though. They must be really scared.

 
From General Discussion / Scary, Scary 24 hours
Posted 26 Jun 11 15:21
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I'm not saying I didn't deserve because I did. I did tease them a bit.

But no one expects web pirates to capture their computer. It was scary.

I phoned up this bloke at the Times to at least get a message out on their technical web page to the cyber world that this kind of thing could happen.

He laughed and said "I'll phone you back" without taking my telephone number.

He didn't believe me because I'm a Spoof writer. He thought I was playing a joke on him. I wasn't, it was real.


 
From General Discussion / Scary, Scary 24 hours
Posted 26 Jun 11 14:59
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Okay. I've been off line for 24 hours. The web pirates took me out. Seriously.

I should never have said I hacked the hackers because they've taken offense.

My computer only got released from their grip when LulzSec announced they were disbanding. I don't think its a coincidence.

This is not a joke.

 
From News Discussion / "Planking" for Peace
Posted 25 Jun 11 15:12
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You've just had a mention on twitter. Someone linked a story back to me for people to read the planking story that I retweeted on my site. I said thanks for the mention, my friend at Spoof wrote that.

 
From News Discussion / "Planking" for Peace
Posted 24 Jun 11 12:59
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I always knew it was planking and not plankton that would provide the nutrition to feed the world. Long live planking.

5 Stars from me.

 
From General Discussion / Am I the only one who is totally addicted to the LulzSec Site
Posted 24 Jun 11 10:56
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Ha Ha. I like that one. I've hacked the hackers.

And its very true about people on the street, Mark. I might try that next.

But I think I might pick a less scary target for my fake twitter chats. I'll have a think about who might be good. Someone a little bit volatile who might actually come on my site to argue with me. That would be funny.

 
From General Discussion / Am I the only one who is totally addicted to the LulzSec Site
Posted 24 Jun 11 00:13
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This is the third night I've spent just following them on twitter. I think this is what happens to crack cocaine addicts.

I've realised something funny about twitter. If you retweet someone's comment and then reply to the comment, it looks as if your actually talking to them.

And if you go back through all of their tweets you can manipulate the text so it looks like they're answering you back.

Its funny.


 
From News Discussion / Chinese Authorities Confirm That Unidentified 65 Foot Sea Monster Stinks - But They'll Eat It Anyway
Posted 23 Jun 11 21:40
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Excellent. 5 Stars.

That was the best sea monster I've seen for a while. I love sea monster stories.

 
From News Discussion / Larry The Downing Street Cat Kills His First Rat
Posted 22 Jun 11 22:03
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Excellent. 5 Stars from me. And five stars to Larry the Downing Street Cat, too.

 
From News Discussion / 'Wannabe Gary McKinnon' busted in Lulzsec hack probe
Posted 22 Jun 11 19:15
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Today just gets better for you, QM. I clicked on this link from the UK Google front page. Top of the list. Congratulations. Again, I wish it was me.

 
From News Discussion / Scouse Funny Man Admits To Being A Bee Gee
Posted 11 Jun 11 22:58
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Excellent 5 stars from me.



 
From General Discussion / Would Somebody Please Clear My Pending?!
Posted 10 Jun 11 21:14
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I'm going over to do some approvals. Wish me luck.

 
From News Discussion / Lily Allen and Sister in Giant Tent Disaster
Posted 8 Jun 11 23:01
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Thank you.

 
From News Discussion / Woolly Jumpers to be Deployed in New Battle Against the Evil Gas Barons of Scotland
Posted 8 Jun 11 22:21
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Thank you, everyone.

I can see some sheep on a hilltop from my window.

I think I'll go have a word with them to see if they want to donate their wool to make us all some socks and a jumper.

 
From News Discussion / Man United Legend Ryan Giggs Is A Socks Addict - Family Devastated
Posted 8 Jun 11 22:17
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I did, too. Excellent. 5 stars.

 
From News Discussion / Overindulged Girl Gets Mauled By Panda In Bathroom
Posted 6 Jun 11 20:32
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I liked that one. 5 Stars from me.

 
From News Discussion / BBC Sport Wins TV Rights To Euro Smoking
Posted 6 Jun 11 19:08
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Now this is a sport Britain could be good at. I hope the Beeb get the world cup rights too.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Cucumbers
Posted 6 Jun 11 18:39
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Excellent Cucumber story.

Update: Spain have now been exhonorated of all cucumber related Ecoli charges.

This morning Germany accused a bean shoot farmer of being the ecoli source.

He's now been exhonorated too.

But the whole ecoli business took place in Hamburg, which is home to the Koch Institute for Bacterial Investigation.

They've got the scariest bacteria in the whole universe.

I think its a coincidence...but a big one.

 
From Magazine Discussion / More Stars Of Silent Radio
Posted 4 Jun 11 00:12
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5 Stars, of course. I forgot to say that.

 
From Magazine Discussion / More Stars Of Silent Radio
Posted 4 Jun 11 00:09
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Excellent. I'm listening to silent radio at the moment.

 
From General Discussion / Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Byzantine
Posted 4 Jun 11 00:05
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Michael Bentine (The other one who wasn't Milligan, Secombe or Sellars) Is he still alive?

 
From News Discussion / Courgettes are the new Cucumbers
Posted 4 Jun 11 00:03
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Excellent. I enjoyed that one. 5 Stars.

 
From News Discussion / Sepp Blatter's Dodgy Dealings Revealed
Posted 3 Jun 11 23:42
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Thank you.


 
From News Discussion / Wayne Rooney High Priestess of Voodoo Almost Got Prediction Right
Posted 29 May 11 13:43
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Thank you.

 
From News Discussion / Football scandal grows as Man Utd WAGs reveal bedroom secrets
Posted 28 May 11 23:28
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Excellent. 5 Stars. I see what you did with this one. Well done Lady G. You beat the boys at their own game.

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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