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Forum Home / Magazine Discussion / Spanza47b. (Part One)


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Forumbot
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Posted: 29 Jan 12 07:42

Extract from Article:
"Cheers Fred, good 'elf mate. Look at that, does a lovely pint of beer landlord does 'ere. Gonna enjoy that I am. Yeah, so as I was saying, last Friday evening it was, 'bout ten t' midnight. I was sitting in me armchair in me living room, just mindin' me own business as yer do. Tryin' t' do me Daily Express Sodtodoko puzzle I was, the harder one like 'cause I'd already mucked up the easy one ea.....

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PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


Chris James
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Chris James

Location: Mingehampton on the Why, UK
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Posted: 29 Jan 12 07:46
Five. Ive been itching to see who wrote this beauty since I read it in approvals.... now I know.

I thought this was brilliant. Cant wait for part two. hope its gonna be a bad romance.

Ive just got to say Five again.... Five.

-=Rumours of my death are completely accurate=-
Inchcock
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Inchcock

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Posted: 29 Jan 12 08:01
I hate it when someone writes an article like this, that is so good, I know I could never create such a masterpiece"

Puts me in my place!

5, but worth more!

Well done Sir!

Inhcock

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 29 Jan 12 12:19
A worthy 5*****

I loved this. While I was reading it, I couldn't help but hear the Two Ronnies as the Cockney blokes dahn the pub.

Great stuff.

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Tommy Twinkle
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Posted: 29 Jan 12 13:32
Thanks so much for those comments you lot. Had this one going 'rand in me 'ead' for a few weeks. I can see what you mean about Two Ronnies, Skoob - actually the person I was imagining saying the words when writing it was Dudley Moore, loosely based on the kind of sketches he'd do with Peter Cooke in the 'Not only...but also' TV program of the 60's. (very loosely based on that of course because in this case Peter Cooke would have to be a totally silent 'Fred' - don't fink Peter Cooke would have been able to manage that for long!)

Part Two's in approvals (had 6 reads but not 'in'!)

Four parts in all - as each goes 'in' I'll pop the next part into approvals.

Bad Romance? Wasn't sure if it would apply because it's not a romance as such. See what you fink after you've read the full story.

Thanks again - always hard to know how a story is going to be received. Inch - don't underestimate yourself mate!

Cheers guys.

Chris James
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Chris James

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 03:54
Must admit, I thougjt Pete n Dud but i see Skoobs angle too

i approved part two a while back.. was so busy shaking my head about how good it was I forgot to 5 it. will rectify obviously when its visible.

two more parts to come. yippeee.

though i started a four parter once that ended up with eight. hope you cant leave those characters alone.

And entering the comp with it too.... excellent news. Got to wait til all in... Both comp entries and your full tale.... but up to now.... well I think you can guess the rest....



-=Rumours of my death are completely accurate=-
Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 09:15
Intriguing, this. Yes there are echoes of lots of vintage British comedy here. It's great that the Spoof has got lots of these pieces in it these days, these longer pieces.

My first thought was that it could be pared down a little and that Fred should be interacting in the 2 Ronnies/Pete & Dud manner, but as I carried on I thought it worked as a monologue (though in that case it might be even better if it was couched in the form of a letter or a first-person narrative and not a conversation - if it's a pub conversation it just needs a few touches here and there to break up the narrative and have other pub characters interjecting now and again) because it seems to be developing into a story.

Forgive my rambling - just my thoughts! 5* of course, it's great and we want more of this!



SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL
Tommy Twinkle
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Posted: 30 Jan 12 12:27
As a comedy sketch(the way I was imagining it in my mind when writing it) Fred would be responding in non-speaking ways - facial expressions, concurring nods etc. This 'rambling-on' speaker is a character I'm now thinking I'd like to use in more stories like this one. If I can make it work as a single speaking role, well that would at least make it a little bit different to the Two Ronnies/Pete and Dud tradition. Early days with this - Spoof's 'Magazine' provides the ideal place to test the waters. But I do take your point Erskin.

I was in tears of laughter when writing parts of this story - a good sign(I hope!)

Skoob: You're definitely right - it's little 'Ronnie Corbett' innit! I honestly hadn't realised it until you said.

Chris James
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Chris James

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 14:07
I've found this gem...

Spanza47b. (Part Two)

Just thought you'd all like a look...

-=Rumours of my death are completely accurate=-
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 16:26
I'm going to save that one for later. Just writing to say that I agree with Erskin about some of these longer pieces. I think they form a wonderful contrast to the punchy news items, and add variety to the site.

And then there's the point that although they maybe don't get many reads, the writers can at least take some comfort from the fact that most people who click on these, do so by choice - by which I mean, as opposed to being suckered in by a clever, if misleading headline that doesn't quite deliver what it says on the tin.

Another thing which I find encouraging, is that these stories seem to get far more ratings per number of views than the more mainstream stuff.

I can only speak for myself, but when I see a Shylock Humes, one of these ones of Tommy's, or one of the collaboration entries, I really look forward to reading them.

That's what it's all about really.

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Ellie James
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Ellie James

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 16:54
I would buy a book about EQ's Shylock stories. I would buy a book about Chris James' Vlad. I'd buy this series as well.

I am jealous....I don't think I could write hilarious short stories without help.

Ellie

Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
Chris James
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Chris James

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Posted: 1 Feb 12 02:41

Quote: Ellie James

I would buy a book about EQ's Shylock stories. I would buy a book about Chris James' Vlad. I'd buy this series as well.

I am jealous....I don't think I could write hilarious short stories without help.

Ellie


Thanks for putting me with the esteemed stuff.

You never know til you try. Have a dabble, You dont have to publish it if you hate the result. It is sometimes amazing what comes out if you let it flow.

-=Rumours of my death are completely accurate=-
Chris James
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Chris James

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Posted: 1 Feb 12 02:48
-=Rumours of my death are completely accurate=-
Ellie James
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Ellie James

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Posted: 1 Feb 12 05:30
Meant it....I found your character Vlad and his undead housekeeper to be really great characters. I really wanted to know more about them.





Quote: Chris James


Quote: Ellie James

I would buy a book about EQ's Shylock stories. I would buy a book about Chris James' Vlad. I'd buy this series as well.

I am jealous....I don't think I could write hilarious short stories without help.

Ellie


Thanks for putting me with the esteemed stuff.

You never know til you try. Have a dabble, You dont have to publish it if you hate the result. It is sometimes amazing what comes out if you let it flow.


Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
Tommy Twinkle
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Posted: 1 Feb 12 13:01
Thanks for putting in those links Chris (from what I've been reading on the Bad Romance forum it seems I'm not the only one who doesn't have a clue how to do links!) So thanks.

As for this Spanza47b story, you'll see now why I'd pointed out earlier that it's not really a 'romance' (good or bad) as such. And I do already have one entry in the 'Bad Romance' comp. (It could easily go on to become one though if the alien was to make another visit!)

On reflection I think EQ is definitely right. I think I just about got away with the monologue as Part One but was pushing my luck by making it into a lengthy four parter monologue. If I return to the character in future I think I'd be 'tightening the reins' so to speak.

Fun writing it though - and thanks to you Chris and the others who 5'd it - and thanks especially for all the comments. Would appreciate any overall comments actually. As Benny Hill would sometimes say,

'Learning all the time'.


 
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