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Forum Home / News Discussion / Man converts mailbox into recycle bin


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Forumbot
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Posted: 30 Mar 17 12:57

Extract from Story:
Norm Johnson of Milwaukee Wisconsin has retrofitted his mail box to be his recyclable bin. "Basically I just cut the bottom out of my mailbox at the foot of my drive way and rolled my recycle bin underneath it." Letter carrier Irene Shepherd says "I don't care what he does with that side of the mailbox as long as I'm doing my job by opening the front of it and placing his mail in it".....

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PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

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Posted: 30 Mar 17 12:57
This is a clever idea.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Dr. Billingsgate
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Posted: 30 Mar 17 14:41
To thwart my mailman I placed a spring loaded rat trap in my mail box. Worked for awhile until he countered by putting a package of rats in the box. I countered by putting my cat in mailbox. Waiting to see his next move.


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rfreed
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rfreed

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Posted: 30 Mar 17 22:49
This is about what it is like.
You might as well hook up the mail box to a recycling bin in real life.
I worked at the Post Office 3 Christmas seasons and it was quite disillusioning. Full time employees sleeping on shift in the cafeteria for hours, union leaders intentionally harassing managers so they could write them up, rude and snotty co-workers, lazy as sin employees, workers that are not even fit enough to do the job they are well paid for.
One time I was working all eight hours just pushing bins of third rate (junk) mail around. Worthless waste of time. But as one full timer said "Don't make fun of it; that is what keeps us employed!"
What a waste of time and money......

Monkey Woods
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Posted: 3 Apr 17 01:48
Sounds great! When can I start?

Of course, I speak from the perspective of somebody who spent seven years working at the Department of Social Security, and then a further seven 'employed' in HM Prison Service. I finally escaped the Civil Service, but I still bear the scars.

About this PO gig - when would be the best time to apply? Are positions open to non-US citizens? Is it really as laid-back as you mentioned? Promise?

Oh, I'm really excited about this opportunity!

C. Boocowskee
Aintree


To have ambitions, was my ambition
Dr. Billingsgate
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Posted: 3 Apr 17 01:55
There is just one requirement; you have to be able to sleep while standing. They have no chairs in post offices. Still interested?

I'm trying to think, but nothing happens.
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

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Posted: 3 Apr 17 02:25
Monkey

Tell us more of your employment in HM Prison Service.

Did you wear a boiler suit and earn two pounds a month?

Was your escape exciting?


Quote: Monkey Woods

Sounds great! When can I start?

Of course, I speak from the perspective of somebody who spent seven years working at the Department of Social Security, and then a further seven 'employed' in HM Prison Service. I finally escaped the Civil Service, but I still bear the scars.

About this PO gig - when would be the best time to apply? Are positions open to non-US citizens? Is it really as laid-back as you mentioned? Promise?

Oh, I'm really excited about this opportunity!

C. Boocowskee
Aintree


"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

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Posted: 3 Apr 17 04:37

Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

you have to be able to sleep while standing. Still interested?




Rather! Where's the application form? I expect rfreed will send me it. So excited!


Dear Vicky,

I did not 'escape' from the Prison Service in the interesting way you might have imagined. Indeed, it was relatively mundane. I spent four months on sick with 'depression' whilst I made my mind up whether to leave or not, then I told them I was ready to return to work. On my first day back, I asked to see my Personnel File, and, foolishly, they left me alone in a room with it. Also in this room, just happened to be The Paper Shredder. I selected what I wanted, (or rather, what I didn.'t want THEM to have!), then got busy.

When I had finished, I handed the now-much-thinner Personnel File back, with my pre-prepared resignation letter, and sat down at a desk to complete my period of notice. I read the Thomas de Quincey book Confessions Of An Opium-eater as the days wore on; obviously, I wasn't going to spend this useful 'notice period' doing anything as insensible as work! What do you think I am, Sir!?

No tunnels, no rope-ladders, no boiler suits, I'm afraid.

Terrible place to work.

And you, Vicky? Any decent work-related stories to tell?





To have ambitions, was my ambition
Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 3 Apr 17 21:04 - Edited By: Erskin Quint, 3 Apr 17 21:09
Dear Mr Monkey,

please note that the correct title of the book by Thomas De Quincey is Confessions of an English Opium-Eater.

I feel that I must perforce point this out, lest any foreign coves begin to "get ideas". Got to keep our titles clean. Know what I mean, matey?

Yours

The Kray Twins
Darlington

SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL
victor nicholas
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Posted: 3 Apr 17 23:35 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 4 Apr 17 01:39
Ms. Monkey

I am sorry you did not enjoy your prison stay.

Your escape by simply writing a letter of resignation is sheer brilliance however, much more brazen and effective than having a cake sent to you with a file baked into it.

Could it have been along these lines?

Dear Warden

I have enjoyed my time here over the years being incarcerated as I so richly deserve as punishment for my heinous crimes which need not be repeated.

Recently I have received an offer more in keeping with my career path however that presents more responsibility and admittedly more pay. This new position unfortunately requires that I relocate as well.

Please accept this letter as my official resignation. My last day in prison therefore will be two weeks from today's date.

I will certainly cherish the fond memories of your stern and uncompromising demeanor, the brutality of the prison guards and the many vicious and mentally unstable inmates I have had the pleasure of befriending during my stay here.

Yours in corrections

M Woods



"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Monkey Woods
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Posted: 4 Apr 17 14:51 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 4 Apr 17 14:58
Why, that's amazing! Not to say, uncanny!

Wait a minute, Victorio! Do you, Sir, have authorised access to my Prison Personel File, most of which I shredded?

Your letter was word-for-word exactly what I writted, apart from my 'misdemeaour' had the 'u' in it, as it should have.

Still, your intelligence seems to go deep. You are obviously closely conected with those in authority in the UK Prison system. I congratulate you, and I salute you.

Indeed, to save time and space, I congratulate and salute you.

Sincerely yours,

Nicholas Victorson
Suwanee Housing Estate
Catford

To have ambitions, was my ambition
Monkey Woods
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Posted: 4 Apr 17 14:57

Quote: Erskin Quint

Dear Mr Monkey,

please note that the correct title of the book by Thomas De Quincey is Confessions of an English Opium-Eater.

I feel that I must perforce point this out




Dearest Mr Quint,

Sir, it is people like you, who give people like me a bad name.

I am, however, in your debt, and 'thank' you for pointing out my abbreviation of the Tommus Der Quintey NOVEL. I shall endeavour (endeavor, for Canadians) to do better next time.

J von Ribbentrop
84 Charing Cross Road

To have ambitions, was my ambition
Dr. Billingsgate
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Posted: 4 Apr 17 15:17 - Edited By: Dr. Billingsgate, 4 Apr 17 15:33
I'm thoroughly confused. What does this have to do with the reportedly ambivalent relationship between Werner von Braun and Hollywood social columnist, Hedda Hopper?

I'm trying to think, but nothing happens.
victor nicholas
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Posted: 6 Apr 17 01:45
Mr. Monkey

If you were to ever rejoin the ranks of Engliish teachers in Canada you would be referring to the Oxford English Dictionary used in the UK not the Merriam-Webster Dictionary used in the US.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Monkey Woods
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Posted: 6 Apr 17 15:04 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 6 Apr 17 15:07
Cher Vic,

Is that so? Hmmm. Then it appears I have an apology to make. I'll put a note in my 'diary', and get around to it when I can be bothered.

I do not know if the good news has reached you in the Tropics yet, but that fine, upstanding group of men, Hull City, climbed out of the relegation zone last night with a 4-2 victory over fellow strugglers, Middlesbrough.

Let that be a lesson to you!

Regards! ("Look!" in some parts of Canadia)

Chopper Harris
Chelsea

To have ambitions, was my ambition

 
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