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Forum Home / News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire


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Forumbot
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Posted: 14 Apr 15 23:24

Extract from Story:
Moe Pipick owner and editor-in chief of The Onion announced today: "I have offered The Spoof a considerable sum just to stop them from embarrassing themselves and stinking up the body fine satire that is being published today." He continued;"Most of their writers should be writing health Pamphlets or Obituaries which would not require them to produce nuanced imaginative and powerful wry sati.....

Click here for full story »


Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

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Posted: 14 Apr 15 23:26
A fine effort, nouns, verbs, punctuation, it's all there.



"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Ellie James
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Ellie James

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Posted: 15 Apr 15 02:17 - Edited By: Ellie James, 15 Apr 15 02:31
I'm surprised that got through....it was largely all quotes. Mark used to send back stories for being all quotes.

And, yes. There's punctuation, but it's not correct. That's not how dialogue is punctuated!

Here's an example taken from an actual news article:

"The new aircraft seats are the widest economy seats available in the single-aisle 737 market and offer a unique design that gives our customers what they asked for: more space," said Southwest chief commercial officer Bob Jordan in a statement.
Awesome read about airline seats!

If you're going to call other writers bad writers, at least have the decency for doing so in a properly punctuated piece of writing!

For some information on colons, you might want to click here: How to use colons. You'll notice that colons are only used with dialogue when writing a screenplay.

Other than that, Mark sure does look cute as a young lad!

rfreed
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rfreed

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Posted: 15 Apr 15 04:36
Childish and vindictive. Not nessecary.

Jaggedone
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Jaggedone

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Posted: 15 Apr 15 06:55 - Edited By: Jaggedone, 16 Apr 15 18:17
when I peruse over the tabloids the mistakes are just unbelievable!

This clown has at least attempted to make some form of nonsense!

Nutters United...
Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 15 Apr 15 09:54
It's good to do these kind of articles, having a go at The Spoof or Spoof writers at a time of conflict. Many of us have done this.

This is a poor example though, barely literate, seemingly tossed off quickly without much thought and virtually no revision. Maybe this is all part of the irony, who knows.

Also:


"the body fine satire" - what does this mean?
you used a semi colon instead of a colon!

and where's the punch line?*

*just joking!



SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL
D P Whitehead
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D P Whitehead

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Posted: 15 Apr 15 22:47 - Edited By: D P Whitehead, 15 Apr 15 22:47
While I enjoyed reading this piece; I was distracted throughout by the photograph of Mark. It is like a young Rolf Harris mixed with Bamber Gasgoine. A hideous notion.

Keep 'em coming dave nelson.

Can you write one about me? Use the fat guy with his top off behind the tree, the fat bald guy pulling the suitcase or the turd as the photo.

Cheers.

Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 16 Apr 15 01:35
Yes Dave, I agree with Duncan. You could do a fantastically hilarious skit about me if you like. I can't write comedy or satire for shit but it's nice to be ripped the piss out of occasionally.*

*Not Wednesdays though. I'm usually busy on Wednesdays.

Regards

Skoob

RIP
Monkey Woods
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 04:15
What's "body fine satire"?



To have ambitions, was my ambition
Erskin Quint
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 11:21
Maybe it's satire about being fined for keeping a dead body in a cupboard.

SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL
dave nelson
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 17:28
Not use quotes???? WTF!!!Those are inside the Spoof by fictional characters! I mean many of y'all are disturbed by grammar when you now shit about syntax and context and have no concept of WTF is comedy/Satire/Wry Parody

I just dash these Spoofs off because my time is absorbed by writing professionaly.

Only losers would spend time deliberating over a creation that will be read by a mere handful of mostly unfunny idiots!

Kiss my funny ass!



will write for food
Skoob1999
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 18:02
"now" - know. Unless you're a Brummie Dave lad.

"professionaly" - professionally.

Good luck with the comedy career.

Love

Skoob

(Who isn't remotely interested in your arsehole by the way.)



RIP
Jaggedone
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 18:21
Skoob at his scathing best! BTW, shall I pitch my idea to you? Or have you no time dear Bard?

Nutters United...
Erskin Quint
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 19:50 - Edited By: Erskin Quint, 16 Apr 15 19:52
"I just dash these Spoofs off because my time is absorbed by writing professionaly."

And here was I thinking they were the finely-honed result of hours of creative toil.

Interesting that your time is absorbed by writing 'professionaly'. Why do you spend your days writing that particular word? Also, why choose 'professionaly' rather than 'professionally'? Further, why not try writing different words?

"I mean many of y'all are disturbed by grammar when you now shit about syntax and context and have no concept of WTF is comedy/Satire/Wry Parody"

Now that's what I call irony.


SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL
Ellie James
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 22:35
A professional writer such as yourself, Sir, should care more about the craft and spell and punctuate things correctly.

And go ahead and take a crack at me, too.

D P Whitehead
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 23:06
Fucking Hell. I was going to write a comment here but the missus just came home and she hates me wasting time on here. Bollocks.

Simon Saunders
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Posted: 16 Apr 15 23:48 - Edited By: Simon Saunders, 17 Apr 15 00:43
Dave, why do you come here if you think it's so awful? It's like going to a terrible pub and complaining about it when you could go to a pub down the road you love. Unless you're barred from the pub you love of course.

You claim to be a professional writer. Any professional worth his salt would never mock other writers in such a pathetic way.

I've been away for a while. Not in prison. I'm back now. Maybe.
Ellie James
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Posted: 17 Apr 15 01:27
Oh sorry. I forgot to mention, of course you can use quotes. However, when a story is only 4 paragraphs and 3 of those are dialogue, then it's not much of a story.

Mark wrote a long post about it some time back.

Your website is interesting, by the way.

Monkey Woods
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Posted: 17 Apr 15 05:28 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 17 Apr 15 05:29

Quote: dave nelson

I just dash these Spoofs off because my time is absorbed by writing professionaly.




And, presumably, rewriting your work because it is badly punctuated, contains words that are poorly spelt, and lacks anything regarded by the vast majority of people as 'humour'.


Quote: dave nelson

Only losers would spend time deliberating over a creation that will be read by a mere handful of mostly unfunny idiots!





...and only a loser would spend time deliberating over a forum post that will inevitably get pulled to bits by other losers who are laying in wait by the side of the road for this kind of 'discussion', and rarely miss the opportunity to devour one.

Trust me; I am one of those waiting losers.



Quote: dave nelson

Kiss my funny ass!




I can't. Your head and neck are in the way.

To have ambitions, was my ambition
Simon Saunders
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Posted: 17 Apr 15 09:22
Ey up Mr Woods.


I'll have you know I'm regarded as "the loser" in some circles, and some squares.

I've been away for a while. Not in prison. I'm back now. Maybe.
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 17 Apr 15 10:37
Just had a wee peek at your webpage Dave. You say you're a pro?

If so, then there's hope for us all.

I've been away for a while. Not in prison. I'm back now. Maybe.
dave nelson
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Posted: 17 Apr 15 15:06

Quote: Simon Saunders

Dave, why do you come here if you think it's so awful? It's like going to a terrible pub and complaining about it when you could go to a pub down the road you love. Unless you're barred from the pub you love of course.

You claim to be a professional writer. Any professional worth his salt would never mock other writers in such a pathetic way.


will write for food
dave nelson
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Posted: 17 Apr 15 15:15
You are spot on "NO pro writer would mock other writers".

WHAT "writers"???

Now you no!

ps SO -Why write on spoof?

ans. - the paradigm is easy to dash out some fast drivel and store and forward to social media and blogs for future refinement if you want. -It's certainly NOT because anyone sees it on spoof except mostly creative wannabees who think they are funny and get off jerking each other off.

OH -and a few really funny satirists (unlike Skooby!)

OH NO!

will write for food
dave nelson
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Posted: 17 Apr 15 15:22
Simon Saunders is what we used to call in America -A Borscht Belt comedian.

It's a species of Elderly Ninnies who think because their great grandchildren laugh at them they belong back in Vaudeville.

Thumbs up for the old guys who keep shoveling shit against the tide.

OH NO!!!!

will write for food
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 17 Apr 15 15:38
Dave, your last but one post is unreadable.

Also, you're making yourself look very silly.

I'm not an old man. I'm 36.

You really are a prize pillock.



I've been away for a while. Not in prison. I'm back now. Maybe.

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