This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / News Discussion / Memories - Of The Way We Were - Spoof Writers Nostalgic For The Good Old Days


[This topic is LOCKED]

AuthorMessage
Forumbot
Automated
Posted: 1 Sep 11 11:37

Extract from Story:
Scattered Pictures...it appears that some The Spoof writers are yearning for a return to the good old days, and fear that they may have been swallowed up by the tides of progress. It seems that amid a massive groundswell of uncertainty regarding their own literary ability, many have jumped ship, having discovered that pseudo kiddie-fiddling stories, and penis/vagina yarns just don't cut the mustar.....

Click here for full story »


Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


Colonel Juan
This user is offline El quien ose, sátirisa
Colonel Juan

Location: C/O Juanita Juan
Registered: 24 Aug 09

 Forum Profile
 Website
Posted: 1 Sep 11 11:43

I take it Skoob's heartfelt tale has already been hit by a 1* Spoofer..

So here's my take on the same...

Back in the Good Old Days, the Spoof was dead scary. Speak out of turn and you'd be skinned alive. Cross any one of the 'Gang' and you'd find a crowd waiting round the back of the bike sheds. Newbies had to serve their time before they'd be accepted.

I remember what happened when I first joined two years ago. Within a week, I stupidly broke an unwritten golden rule - daring to make a tame suggestion on the Forum. Minutes later there was a knock on the door.

Colonel Juan? Mind if we have a quiet word.

It was the Brit Police. Earl Grey and his assistant Jaggedone.

What d'you think you fucking know about the spoof? You've only bin here five fucking minutes.

Anyway I was taken down the station where they pulled off two typing fingers and gently advised me to wait a year or so before saying anything that might upset 'various' people.

Obviously a gang had the joint 'sewn-up'. But experienced old hacks like me aren't so easily scared. So I stuck around.

Unlike Teabag - who could dish it out but wasn't so keen on anything in the opposite direction.

The rest of the regular gang turned out to be not such a bad crowd. A few staunch Republicans mixed with a few nut cases. Plus the notoriously wonderous 'Dark Side'. And yes. We had a lot of fun. But mostly it had little or nothing to do with writing.

Breasts were big in those days. More breast writing than you could possible imagine. Every shape and size imaginable. We even had Breast Appreciation Day. Mixed in with serious penis writing - biggest & smallest on Earth - condom writing, nude writing, pubic hair writing, butt writing, shit writing, up-skirt photography writing, wardrobe malfunction writing, nipple writing, intercourse writing, centrefold spread writing, gay writing, Tattoo on tit writing, prodigious arse writing. You name it on the standardised sex front, it was here somewhere on the Spoof. Non stop. Day in day out. Mostly written by men, old enough to know better.

About 95% of it based on celebrities..

As for this Forum. Stories of little merit were lauded as masterpieces. Once again so-and-so knocks it clean out of the ball park.

There was no audience to talk of. Because hardly anyone came to read the stories. It was a numbers game. Who could attract (fool) the most people to the site on a wild goose chase. Which is kinda what a Spoof is meant to do. Only not monotonously on just one level.

To be so-called Top Writer you needed at least 40,000 hits a week. Sometimes 60,000. Unless you managed nearly 4000 hits a week you stood no chance of getting into the Top 20.

In short, and in the opinion of many more writers than me, the Spoof offered little entertainment value to any sort of semi-educated readership. It was just a celebrity numbers game by the cart load.

Anyway, I joined the club.

And did quite well. Knocking out stories that fooled thousands of sad old tossers to cum looking for dirty photos, or this and that.

Time passed (as it does) And for those with short memories, things began to implode when the Americans began falling out with each other.

Several managed to get themselves suspended or finally barred from the Spoof. After being given chance after chance to behave. A startling achievement considering Mark's liberal philosophy to the internet.

Then a group of us Brits slowly began to link arms. Independently coming to the conclusion that this site could be a whole lot better. Bored with writing the same old story again and again. Or too embarrassed to let family and friends see the website.

We wanted the Spoof to be a place where writers of very mixed ability could share ideas and experiences, have real fun, support one another - and just maybe write something they could be proud of.

Perhaps the final straw came when a guy wrote a Pippa Middleton Vagina story. And when some of us asked him why - he lamely replied Because if I don't someone else will.

That wasn't so long ago.

So here we are.

As Skoob says, there are still those cursing and abusing some of us. As one or two others have done right down the trail.

I just hope the majority like or at least appreciate the direction in which we seem to be heading.

Where hopefully, lots of fun awaits..

If not -

No problem...

It would be the easiest thing in the world to turn the Spoof round and head straight back to them Good Old Days..

Regards

CJ



RIP
Philbert of Macadamia
This user is offline Historical nutcase
Philbert of Macadamia

Location: Pizmo Beach, Pennsyltucky
Registered: 20 May 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 1 Sep 11 14:01
You Can't Go Home Again is a novel by Thomas Wolfe.

"You can't go home again" has entered American speech to mean that after you have left your country town or provincial backwater city for a sophisticated metropolis, you can't return to the narrow confines of your previous way of life, and, more generally, attempts to relive youthful memories will always fail. (Reference Wikipedia)

Just saying!

PoM

There is intelligent life in outer space!
Then why do the UFO's not land on the Earth?
As I said, there is intelligent life in outer space!
pinxit
This user is offline Writer


Registered: 24 Aug 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 1 Sep 11 14:10
Thanks for the excellent and informative low-down CJ.

Now get your wonky-eyed ass back on here.

Your chum,

Pink shit.

Skoob1999
This user is offline Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 1 Sep 11 14:59
Seconded.

Astute observation there. From Phil too.

Onwards and upwards!

Regards

Skoob.



RIP
Colonel Juan
This user is offline El quien ose, sátirisa
Colonel Juan

Location: C/O Juanita Juan
Registered: 24 Aug 09

 Forum Profile
 Website
Posted: 1 Sep 11 16:23



Hi PoM...


You should read AE Houseman's A Shropshire Lad..

A fine English poet..

He wrote of those Blue Remembered Hills...

somewhere that none of us buggers can ever go again...

Ah.. age shall not weary...


Regards


CJ






RIP
pinxit
This user is offline Writer


Registered: 24 Aug 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 1 Sep 11 16:32
Yup, caught it on Radio 4 earlier today.

Now, get ritin' you wonky-eyed temptress!

(Talking of which - have you caught up with Almodovar's latest? Verrrrrry '70's. Verrrrrrry curate's egg - but worth catching)

Colonel Juan
This user is offline El quien ose, sátirisa
Colonel Juan

Location: C/O Juanita Juan
Registered: 24 Aug 09

 Forum Profile
 Website
Posted: 1 Sep 11 16:51 - Edited By: Colonel Juan, 1 Sep 11 16:57



Suddenly feel a story coming on Pin.

Tremors in the typing finger..

Luigi Fanchini Caught Red-Handed Halfway Up Cheryl Cole's Micro Mini Skirt and Only Inches Away From her (BLANK)..

AAAAAgghhhhh...

HELP!!!!

OOps.. Forgot..

Re Almodovar..

She's one of me daughter's faves..

Alas, Iryna has been stuck in Salamanca these past seven weeks. Drinking herself to oblivion..

I'll ask her on her return (if she ever does)

You comin' boozin next week?







RIP
Ellis Ian Fields
This user is offline Writer
Ellis Ian Fields

Location: Dunno - it's so very dark
Registered: 9 Dec 09

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 1 Sep 11 16:58 - Edited By: Ellis Ian Fields, 1 Sep 11 16:58
Is that the one about the skin? With Bander Ass?

No-one speaks English and everything's broken.
pinxit
This user is offline Writer


Registered: 24 Aug 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 1 Sep 11 17:09
That's the one Ellis - has the most gorgeous of women with the most beautiful ar... er, perhaps this is not quite the place to go into that...

CJ - indeed - as long as it's not far from the Thames - not good with Sarf Lunnun... I get nose bleeds.

PS Resist those LCD urges ol' boy.... you know where they lead!

Philbert of Macadamia
This user is offline Historical nutcase
Philbert of Macadamia

Location: Pizmo Beach, Pennsyltucky
Registered: 20 May 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 1 Sep 11 17:35
New writer requirement:

All new spoof writers will be required to take Human Anatomy 101 (female) and Human Anatomy 102 (male) before being allowed to write.

This reqirement will start in January 2012. On-line courses are acceptable from an accredited web site.

Older writers will be grandfathered in!

There is intelligent life in outer space!
Then why do the UFO's not land on the Earth?
As I said, there is intelligent life in outer space!
Jaggedone
This user is offline Warning: Sharp edges
Jaggedone

Location: Back under the bridge!
Registered: 8 Apr 09

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 1 Sep 11 18:16
"It was the Brit Police. Earl Grey and his assistant Jaggedone."

I do not recollect ever insulting you or inhibiting your participation in any fashion, in fact it's a lie what is written above.

The only thing that Early Grey and myself ever did was have a good laugh and incidentally, others enjoyed our bantering too.

I'm afraid your personal vendetta against myself and others here is so ridiculous it is beginning to become act 1 in a kindergarden play.

On another thread I mentioned the fact that I have the utmost respect for all that write and participate here, including yourself (up till now).

Mark has certain guidelines here and one of them is not to attack other writers.

The above mentioned untruth is an attack on my person and I will certainly be informing our editor about it.

CJ, I have no intention of escalating a feud, which on my part does not exist. I have nothing against you or anybody else who doesn't like what I do here.

My daughter recently got over chemo and she is 34 years old, that is important to me not the constant bullshit which is written here.

You will never drive me away from my evenings of fun here, but I will refrain from any further written contact with you until you retract the above untruth.

These forums are supposed to be fun (or were) and an outlet from our daily frustrations and I do not see any point at all in this inner-fighting and constant bickering.

In fact CJ you can have them as far as I'm concerned.

Jaggedone




Monkey nutter...
Mark
This user is offline Spoofer-in-Chief
Mark

Location: Lancaster, England
Registered: 8 Apr 03

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 1 Sep 11 18:25 - Edited By: Mark, 1 Sep 11 18:27
In light of this, I'm locking this thread.

CJ, please send explanation via private message and I'll post it here.

JO, please accept my apologies. No need to contact me, unless there's something else you feel I need to know.

Many thanks,

Mark

Spoofing all over the world
Mark
This user is offline Spoofer-in-Chief
Mark

Location: Lancaster, England
Registered: 8 Apr 03

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 2 Sep 11 15:17
Right, this is seemingly what was being got at.

All water under the bridge now, I think we'll agree. People gave as good as they got and got nowhere fast. How things have changed. Oh...wait...

Spoofing all over the world

 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum

Who is online?

There are 2 registered users currently online: 2 are active , none are currently inactive .

Users online:


Profile Featured Writer

P Turton
P Turton
Joined: 01 July 2003
Stories Written: 10

Go to top