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Forum Home / News Discussion / Pippa Middleton Admits She Fancies American NFL Quarterback Tony Romo


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Forumbot
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Posted: 1 May 11 17:18

Extract from Story:
Pippa Middleton, the 27 year old younger sister of Princess Kate Middleton Windsor, has admitted to having an attraction to an American Football Player. Pippa rose to fame at her sister's wedding to Princess William due to her role as Maid of Honour and because of her good looks and beautiful smile. The man that she fancies is Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo. Romo. Romo, aged 31, has be.....

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Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


Abel Rodriguez
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Abel Rodriguez

Location: USA
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Posted: 1 May 11 17:18
Five Touchdowns!

Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

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Posted: 1 May 11 17:39
Why thank you, Mr. fellow Texan.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Colonel Juan
This user is offline El quien ose, sátirisa
Colonel Juan

Location: C/O Juanita Juan
Registered: 24 Aug 09

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Posted: 1 May 11 19:27




(Hushed voice)


.. and on that bombshell, we return you to the studio...










RIP
Bureau
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Bureau

Registered: 6 Sep 08

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Posted: 1 May 11 21:39

I blame Nurse Ratched and that lobotomy for this whole mess during the past six months.

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Morse
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Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

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Posted: 1 May 11 21:57
Greetings CJ, from across the Pond!

I just wanted to say, with all sincerity, and with no malice, and some degree of affection, you really are a sanctimonious Twit.

I'm sure the above mentioned story was meant for the US readership of this UNIVERSAL site, despite the recent 5th column attacks you've led behind the scenes to turn it into your own plaything using your 'shadow government.'

We do have a rabid fascination over here for US sports and the over pampered, and intellectually challenged athletes, so then, there's at least one thing we have in common judging by British rags and Spoof topics...no one country has a copyright on Arse Holes, Eh?

I did not find anything offensive in the story, and the Dallas Cowboys, for which Jman has a rabid affinity, is more than a hot topic for his regional readership as well as for football fans in general.

The fact that the Royal Wedding HAS BEEN the all consuming story over here for at least the last 10 days lends itself to being co-opted....quite fair I think.

Kate Middleton's privates, however, not so much! (Sorry Jman...things have changed since you left)

Obama's birth certificate, quite frankly, is old news, Donald Trump, really isn't the Hair Apparent. And sorry Skoob....there's nothing funny about tornadoes to write about...maybe if there had been one in Libya...maybe not.

For the past several months there has been a not so subtle attack on US writers, probably just coincidental that they have been at or near the top of your hated charts.

First Bureau for his lovable addiction to Snippets...a hobby he loved dearly, but gave up after some pointed snarky attacks. Bureau, who never had a bad word for anybody and was a valued contributor.

Then it was Abel, long a top ranked writer who seldom contributed to the Forum except to congratulate or praise another writer. Then the nasty frontal attacks after a fabricated perceived slight. Anyone who has come to know Abel knows that he is the most modest, unassuming individual around here and only came out on two occasions when he was personally attacked and insulted...and both times, he conducted himself as a gentlemen in a concise, educated and documented rebuttal.

Oh, and then Poor Lady Godiva, bless her fevered soul, attacked, slighted, laughed at, made the victim of a person who wanted to let everyone know, in case they missed it, that HE...the omnipresent Colonel Juan, was impatient and offended....yea, his superior intellect and rapier wit, now on showcase for the world to see. Most unbecoming, and quite transparent for those who weren't blind.

Congratulations. Must feel good to squash an ant under your boot!
And this, the writer who wrote so movingly about his visit to the Death Camps!


An then, the Prize....attacking the throne. Not by a frontal attack, but a snip here, a snipe there, all the while your distain barely disguised...."Down with the Queen....how dare she, how could she....Freedom, Democracy, I Say!"

Oh yes, I remember, it wasn't you...no hand innit at all....look here boy, my hands are clean (heh heh)...must have been a popular uprising...will of the people innit?

Needless to say, none of the aforementioned writers need me to defend them, I only bring it up to recap the recent activities.

I remember a time when Skoob took a very strong stand against bullying. A stand for which I admired him...greatly. Now we have a more subtle form of bullying under the guise of improving the site...but it's much more than that in your mind, CJ....this is manipulation...and you revel in it, more's the pity.

No one questions your writing, your intellect, your way with words, your ability to hit the mark for your readership....but the other stuff?

Frankly, it's beneath you, and rather than do the English thing and discuss the weather, I will say, quite frankly, it's quite cowardly....clever, devilish, Machiavellian....but when the chips are all in, cowardly just the same.

For all the writers who read this, excuse the ramblings of an old git...to my British spoofers and 'friends' may I say I admire you more than you could possibly know, I love your affinity for the language, the wonderfully crafted tales, and ultimately the insight into your glorious country...and especially your humour, both in your face and understated!

The wedding ceremony was magnificent...not so much for the nuptials or the principals involved, but for the outpouring of the British Spirit, the flag waving, the sense of pride, dignity, and love of your country....even if it was for only one day, it was an image that will remain long in my mind as an example of what we all should become if we lived in a perfect world.

I've remained above the recent fray after a few months ago becoming outraged where one writer threatened another with a LAW SUIT.(WTF)

No sense to it, no pissing contests for me, cut down the submissions, get on with real life, check in once in awhile.

But, ENOUGH!

At my age you can shrug off certain things, even a pimple on your arse.
But when it turns into a bloody boil, the bastard's got to be lanced.

Toddle Pip!













Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Reddon
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Reddon

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Posted: 1 May 11 22:37 - Edited By: Reddon, 1 May 11 22:38
Cap

It's admirable that you defend your fellow countrymen with such a passion, and also that you're so complimentary towards ours.

There's no hidden agenda going on here.

I asked a question in another thread about how come when so much is going on in the States, all that seems to have cropped up from across the pond is Pippa Middleton.

It's because it's popular.

It's done purely for points and no other reason.

Also I'd never demean the victims of the tornado events, as nobody from over this side of the pond has done. I did see plenty of stuff about the tsunami in Japan though.

Over here, when there are disasters or whatever, we tend to criticise the media response, and it works for us.

And I really don't see any bullying going on here.

Just my two cents worth.

Respectfully

Skoob.

I've started so I'll finish.
Colonel Juan
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Colonel Juan

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Posted: 1 May 11 22:44




Morse

This sort of personal attack is completely out of place on a public Forum. I hear what you say. But I'm simply not prepared to discuss Abel, Bureau, Lady Godiva or any of the people you mention.

Clearly you agree with Abel and Bureau and possibly others that this site would be a better place were I to leave. You might yet have your day.

However there are others I know, fine chaps all, who are equally adamant in precisely the opposite direction.

this isn't the one-sided picture you paint.

The rest of your rant is beneath contempt.

CJ





RIP
Colonel Juan
This user is offline El quien ose, sátirisa
Colonel Juan

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Posted: 2 May 11 09:05
Morse

Further to your acrimonious diatribe.

Rather than lay the blame entirely on me, you might have weighed-up the alternative view.

There are many here who also wish to have fun. Many who also once had fun playing with shit down in the sewer. Grown men can be like that. Enjoying themselves for a while chucking about penis and vagina stories. And nudes and pat-downs and calendars and on and on.

Slowly, it began to dawn. We'd had enough. Many on here thought it time to put away the toys and begin having fun in other ways. Whatever the jokes had been, they had now gone stale. And instead of taking the piss out of celebrities, many Spoof stories had become a sad reflection on those who wrote them.

Just as important, we had all stopped writing. Unless you call the regurgitation of the same old set of storylines anything to do with creativity.

This situation could obviously have been resolved by my suggestions in January concerning the Top Writer's Chart. That was the diplomatic solution to the excellent ethos of 'Write & Let Write'.

Alternatively, it could also have been beautifully resolved by everyone 'moving-on' from writing sleaze.

We got neither.

And speaking entirely for myself, I no longer see the attraction in shit.





RIP
Mark
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Mark

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Posted: 2 May 11 09:23 - Edited By: Mark, 2 May 11 09:25
Alright chaps, I think this is straying into bad territory now.

I think that what needed to be said. Please lay it to rest now.

The Spoof is free for anyone to write about anything - whether you like it or not.

I'm a big fan of the stories Duncan Whitehead used to write. The irreverent local-esque news which doesn't get a lot of interest from the wider-world, but is ball-bouncingly funny.

I don't know enough about celebrities to enjoy stories about them - but there's definitely a big audience for that.

Stories about vaginas are fairly pointless and I don't much like the idea of an explosion of puerile headlines, but if that's the way it goes, so be it.

Spoofing all over the world
Monkey Woods
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Posted: 2 May 11 12:40 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 2 May 11 12:42

Quote: Mark

I'm a big fan of the stories Duncan Whitehead used to write.




Well said, that man!


I have to say, Morse, your post was a joy to read, although I did have to delay eating my tea so that I could finish it all in one go. Your post, not my tea. I always finish my tea in one go; that is to say, nothing is allowed to interrupt it once I've started eating.

Not even a fire. Or an earthquake. Or your post.

What's all the fuss about? What's wrong with Vagina stories? Or penis stories? Or celebrity stories? If you don't like them, don't read them.

What 'improvements'? Why do we need 'improvements'? Would it be an 'improvement' if I wrote improvement without the inverted commas, like I just did?

Bullying? The cornerstone of the British Public School system, and it never did anyone any harm. Apart from those who were bullied. Lady Godzilla wasn't bullied, was she? I thought she self-destructed on the forum, despite my advice to remove her comments before Mark got out of bed.

Oh whatever.

Mark, can JB come back? He might be an abusive, cantankerous lunatic, but at least there wasn't all this serious arguing. It was just, well, you know...

To have ambitions, was my ambition
Bureau
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Bureau

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Posted: 2 May 11 13:12

And remember, CJ had that lobotomy. This is the work of Nurse Ratched.

She talked Billy Bibbit into doing away with himself.

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.

 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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