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Forum Home / News Discussion / Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer dies of alcoholism


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Forumbot
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Posted: 13 Dec 10 01:41

Extract from Story:
Rudolph, the famous beacon nosed reindeer who helped Santa Claus guide his sleigh during a treacherous winter night some 60 years ago, has died of alcoholism. He was 73...

Click here for full story »


Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
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Posted: 13 Dec 10 02:12
Merry Christmas Nick.

Where have you been?

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
P.M. Wortham
This user is offline Literary Dog


Registered: 26 Jun 07

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Posted: 13 Dec 10 19:11

Quote: victor nicholas

Merry Christmas Nick.

Where have you been?




5 from me, St. Nick.
Nice to see your twisted sense of humor back in play.

PM

NickFun
This user is offline Bootylicious
NickFun

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Posted: 14 Dec 10 02:32
Hello folks! This is actually my oldest story on the Spoof. It goes back to the helium days. I left the site out of sheer frustration with the constant edits and deletions. You can find me at...wait...that would be giving it away. Don't want to be banned you know!

Signature lines are for psychos.
NickFun
This user is offline Bootylicious
NickFun

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Posted: 14 Dec 10 02:33
Oh, and a Merry Christmas to one and all!

Signature lines are for psychos.
Monkey Woods
This user is offline Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

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Posted: 14 Dec 10 05:16
Fuck off, Nick.





















I mean, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.


Sorry about that. I seem to be suffering from Bipolar Deciding. I just can't make my mind up about anything, before I swing wildly in the other direction.

You cock-sucking American wanker.

To have ambitions, was my ambition
pinxit
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Registered: 24 Aug 10

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Posted: 14 Dec 10 11:38
Thumbs up from me Mr. Fun.

A sad tale of 'The American Dream' gone titzup.

Bureau
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Bureau

Registered: 6 Sep 08

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Posted: 14 Dec 10 18:53

5 thumbs up, St. Nick.

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."

"Bury me with the nose above ground which will act as an eternal flame."

-"Honest John"



Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Lady Godiva
This user is offline Banned


Location: Canada and The Spoof
Registered: 22 Feb 10

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Posted: 14 Dec 10 19:21
Awww! Such a sad story - but 5 thumbs from me for the laughs!

Lady Godiva

NickFun
This user is offline Bootylicious
NickFun

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Posted: 14 Dec 10 23:14
Thanks for the good word folks. But...someone gave this story only four stars! Pinxit admits to giving it a rating but did not mention the number of stars. Could Pixnit be the four star culprit?

Actually, four stars is fine. Thanks everyone!

Signature lines are for psychos.
pinxit
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Registered: 24 Aug 10

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Posted: 15 Dec 10 13:22
Oooops... could have been moi.

4 thumbs 'very funny'. 5 = 'hilarious'.

I'm just happy to settle for 'funny' on mine.

PS. Who is this 'Pixnit' of whom you speak?

Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

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Posted: 15 Dec 10 14:02
I'll apologise for Nick's spelling error, Pink Zit.

Is that how we should pronounce it? I think Pink Zit works much better. There is less room for a mistake, and it probably accurately describes your face. A Big Pink Zit.

And how disgraceful that you should have 'stooped' so low as to award our American friend a four-thumb rating. You tight Yorkshire git!

From one tight Yorkshire git to another, Merry Christmas, but only as merry as 10p will allow.

Yours festively,

Munky Wudz

To have ambitions, was my ambition
pinxit
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Posted: 15 Dec 10 15:16
Ey oop Wonkey Moods lad,

10p!?! Bit flash innit? Thee must 'ave more brass than sense.

As ferra pink zit bonce, tha's not far out - just add a face like a smacked arse and it's me down to a tee...

Any more o' tha' cheek an' I'll set me whippet on yer, yer bastard.

Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

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Posted: 15 Dec 10 16:40 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 15 Dec 10 16:42
'So tha's going to London, is ta?' he said with mild interest, as though the subject of the calendars had been settled entirely to his satisfaction.

Hopefully, I said: 'Aye, ah'm just about thraiped wi' Stadhoughton'. I remembered too late that 'thraiped' was a word Arthur and I had made up.

'How does ta mean?'

'It's neither muckling nor mickling,' I said, using another invented phrase in my complete panic.

'Aye.' The old man poked the ground with his stick, and said again, 'Aye.' I had no indication what he was thinking about at all. I tried hard to keep talking, but I could not think of a single word of any description.

'Well tha's gotten me in a very difficult position,' he said weightily, at last. 'How does ta mean, Councillor?'

He studied me keenly, and I realised for the first time, with a sinking heart, that he was not as daft as he looked.

'Is ta taking a rise out o' me, young man?'

I felt myself flushing, and found my whole personality shifting into the familiar position of sheepishness and guilt.

'No, of course not'.

'Well just talk as thi mother and father brought thee up to talk, then. Ah've had no education, ah had to educate myself, but that's no reason for thee to copy t' way I talk.' He spoke sharply but kindly, in a voice of authority with some kind of infinite wisdom behind it, and at that moment I felt genuinely ashamed.

'Now sither. We'll noan go ower t'ins and outs of it, tha's been ower all that down at t' office. But young Shadrack theer thinks ah ought to have a word wi' thi father about thee. What does ta say to that?'

'I don't know,' I muttered, hanging my head. I wondered how I could ask him, without actually begging for mercy, not to talk to the old man.

'Well don't look as if tha's lost a bob and fun sixpence! Tha's not dead yet!'



- Keith Waterhouse 1959.



Now stick that in ta pipe, an' smoke it, lad!

To have ambitions, was my ambition

 
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