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Forum Home / News Discussion / After knives, guns, government plans new "fist amnesty"


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Forumbot
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Posted: 14 Feb 08 18:03

Extract from Story:
After the success of schemes to reduce the number of violent crimes committed using knives and then guns, the government is proposing a new amnesty - this time with fists. Assault, GBH and ABH records show that there has been a year-on-year percentage increase every year in the last decade. The government hopes that, if people are willing to hand in their fists, they can reduce the number of vio.....

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Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


Mark
This user is offline Spoofer-in-Chief
Mark

Location: Lancaster, England
Registered: 8 Apr 03

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Posted: 14 Feb 08 18:03
Brilliant

Spoofing all over the world
Duncan Whitehead
This user is offline The Innuendo Kid
Duncan Whitehead

Registered: 14 Dec 07

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Posted: 14 Feb 08 19:10
This guy is very good.

Simon Cockle
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Simon Cockle

Location: Hertfordshire, England
Registered: 8 Jan 08

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Posted: 14 Feb 08 19:45
Why thankyou to the both of you! That's made my day, that has...:)

IN SEINE
This user is offline French Tickler
IN SEINE

Location: AREA 51, NORTH WESTERN REGION
Registered: 28 Jul 07

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Posted: 14 Feb 08 21:10
Hey Mr Cockle..

How do you propose to fight Monkey Woods with NO fists?

(and don't say with both arms behind your back!)

ESCAPISM

I say

~IS~

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes!"
Simon Cockle
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Simon Cockle

Location: Hertfordshire, England
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Posted: 14 Feb 08 21:52

Quote: IN SEINE

Hey Mr Cockle..

How do you propose to fight Monkey Woods with NO fists?

I'm gonna fight him with words...punch him in the nouns 'til he bleeds commas across the canvas...

...seriously, I have no desire to fight anyone, especially not on Valentine's Day! I must have some female admirers out there who like my dashing wordplay and linguistic dexterity...;)

norma snockers
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Location: Brest, France
Registered: 3 Dec 07

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Posted: 14 Feb 08 22:12

Quote: Simon Cockle


Quote: IN SEINE

Hey Mr Cockle..

How do you propose to fight Monkey Woods with NO fists?

I'm gonna fight him with words...punch him in the nouns 'til he bleeds commas across the canvas...

...seriously, I have no desire to fight anyone, especially not on Valentine's Day! I must have some female admirers out there who like my dashing wordplay and linguistic dexterity...;)


ooooh Monseiur Simon,

You are so brave, but if need any support, I will bust him in ze Monkey Nuts pour vous.

Jesus Budda
This user is offline Two sheets to the wind
Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
Registered: 26 Aug 07

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Posted: 14 Feb 08 22:27

Quote: norma snockers


Quote: Simon Cockle


Quote: IN SEINE

Hey Mr Cockle..

How do you propose to fight Monkey Woods with NO fists?

I'm gonna fight him with words...punch him in the nouns 'til he bleeds commas across the canvas...

...seriously, I have no desire to fight anyone, especially not on Valentine's Day! I must have some female admirers out there who like my dashing wordplay and linguistic dexterity...;)


ooooh Monseiur Simon,

You are so brave, but if need any support, I will bust him in ze Monkey Nuts pour vous.


Slut

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Simon Cockle
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Simon Cockle

Location: Hertfordshire, England
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Posted: 14 Feb 08 22:44
ooooh Monseiur Simon,

You are so brave, but if need any support, I will bust him in ze Monkey Nuts pour vous.



It's good to know you think I'm brave...I have won cups for my fighting...in fact, I have a chest of drawers full of them...;)

Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

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Posted: 15 Feb 08 00:19

Quote: Simon Cockle



...seriously, I have desires on Valentine's Day! I must have some female admirers out there who like my linguistic dexterity...;)


If you are that good with your tongue, I'll bet you've got them lining up around the block. Be prepared to be contaced by Gail Farrelly, Jenny Bigtits, Passion Vine House, Norma Snockers, and Cal's sister.

I'll pimp for you if you need me to.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Simon Cockle
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Simon Cockle

Location: Hertfordshire, England
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Posted: 15 Feb 08 07:56
I'll pimp for you if you need me to.


Great...but I don't exchange monies for said transactions...I give only the gift of language (and spare change)...

Jesus Budda
This user is offline Two sheets to the wind
Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
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Posted: 15 Feb 08 18:29

Quote: Jalapenoman


Quote: Simon Cockle



...seriously, I have desires on Valentine's Day! I must have some female admirers out there who like my linguistic dexterity...;)


If you are that good with your tongue, I'll bet you've got them lining up around the block. Be prepared to be contaced by Gail Farrelly, Jenny Bigtits, Passion Vine House, Norma Snockers, and Cal's sister.

I'll pimp for you if you need me to.

Passion Vine House is a real lady. She should never be mentioned in the same categroy as those other skanks.
I apologise to the other skanks.

JB

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Simon Cockle
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Simon Cockle

Location: Hertfordshire, England
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Posted: 15 Feb 08 22:41
I'll pimp for you if you need me to.

Passion Vine House is a real lady. She should never be mentioned in the same categroy as those other skanks.
I apologise to the other skanks.

JB


With a name like Passion Vine House, I'd imagine that skankiness couldn't be further away...

Dr Edward Maxwell
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Dr Edward Maxwell

Registered: 25 Feb 08

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Posted: 25 Feb 08 20:59
4 from me. Very good. Very good indeed.

EM(Dr)

...and like that....he is gone....(Goodbye emad QC, we will meet again)

 
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