This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / General Discussion / Happy Easter/Passover/Eostre everybody


[This topic is LOCKED]

AuthorMessage
queen mudder
This user is offline Spoof Queen
queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 8 Apr 07 13:59
Beaooooooootiful day in London.
Lots of people sitting in the sunshine just chillin. Hampstead Heath awash with vernal procreation activities and spontaneous acts of human kindness 'Ya wanna puff on da spliff man?'
Outside the US ambassador's residence in Regent's Park the armed cops look kinda bemused like it's Tuttle their weapons are trained on and not members of the public walking by. Go for it boys! Get the Bush****er. Except I think he might have gone back to Wacko for the holiday because there's been zero activity on the helipad in his backyard.
And a brand new freebie wifi signal's just suddenly appeared in the neighborhood right out of nowhere. Eat yer heart out BT broadband at twentyfive quid a month. Who needs ya?
Happy holiday everybody!




Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 8 Apr 07 17:01
Thanks, Queen, for getting it started. Ya beat me to it. Can't say that we're happy to have the Bushwacker back on our side of the pond though.

It's a beautiful day in North Carolina as well. Supposed to be a little warmer this afternoon at 60 degrees. Plants have survived the last several nights and everything, azeleas, dogwoods, crape myrtles and flowers are still in bloom.

The Kingdom's flower garden is still in tact. Will turn the soil in the vegetable garden with the tiller and the bones of a dead horse this afternoon to get it ready for planting in the upcoming weeks.

The feudal serfs, Allolobophora Caliginosa (common red wigglers), are eager to get started. It's been a long winter for them laying fallow in the darkness.

I must say that it has been a pleasure reconnecting with Spoofreaders and writers over this Easter Holiday, and, if you'll indulge me, would like to dedicate a poem by Wendell Barry to commemorate the day. It's called Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front.

Manifesto:
The Mad Farmer Liberation Front


by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.

Listen to carrion -- put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go.

Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

"Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front" from The Country of Marriage, copyright ® 1973 by Wendell Berry, reprinted by permission of Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Inc.










Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

 Forum Profile
Posted: 9 Apr 07 01:48
May the bunny leave everyone lots of chocolate and enough extra money so that you can start sending the $100 checks you all owe me!

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Trevelyan
This user is offline Writer


Location: Illinois
Registered: 31 Mar 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 9 Apr 07 02:57
Damn you both King and Queen,

It was suck ass cold here in Illinois. Plus I have a sinus infection from the rapid change in weather we've gone through this past week to boot. I hate Illinois weather.

Trevelyan
King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 9 Apr 07 18:43
Hey Trevlyn,

Sorry to hear about the infection. The last woman that I dated hailed from the Lombard (suburbs of Chicago) area. She said that her and her ex-husband moved south (to North Carolina) for that very reason.

When I was younger (15), I lived in Springfield and remember those cold winters and the ice storms. Schools would close after the wind chill reached 50 below and all the pipes would crack. Never again.

But if you wait it out, in a couple of years, you'll start noticing the warming effect after global warming has an impact on your area.

I'm not getting my heating system fixed. I'll just wait for global warming.

Look luck getting better.

King

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

 Forum Profile
Posted: 9 Apr 07 19:13
Eric just said he had more snow this year than ever before. Same story in Colorado.

I'd fix my furnace.

I question some of the global warming stuff (while I will admit to climate changes in some areas, this issue has now become a political volleyball with each side trotting out its own scientists with their own expert opinions and you do not know what or who to believe).

I wonder if Al Gore invented global warming before or after he invented the internet?

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Gnarly Erik
This user is offline Gnarly Dude
Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
Registered: 16 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Website
Posted: 9 Apr 07 20:20

Quote: Jalapenoman

Eric just said he had more snow this year than ever before. Same story in Colorado.

I'd fix my furnace.

I question some of the global warming stuff (while I will admit to climate changes in some areas, this issue has now become a political volleyball with each side trotting out its own scientists with their own expert opinions and you do not know what or who to believe).

I wonder if Al Gore invented global warming before or after he invented the internet?
While we had more snow than ever before this year in Juneau, Fairbanks which is quite a bit north of us had the LEAST ever recorded and has had major problems because of frost penetration with little snow to insulate the ground.

No one should doubt the dramatic changes now occurring if they trouble to view the historical temperature graphs which are showing the biggest & sharpest spikes in climatological history (not just recorded history). Temps on the north slope of Alaska are now AVERAGING about 8 degrees F higher than just a few decades ago - and the trend is accelerating.

There is no longer any reasonable doubt, especially since even the government AND the major oil companies (you know, the guys who hired all the skeptical 'experts' to claim there was no such thing) now agree there IS such a thing, and it IS being accelerated by human activity.

i say this to skeptics: You're the driver of a big bus loaded with all your family and all your friends. You are roaring down the hill, almost out of control faster and faster. You know you will not make the curve ahead unless you slow down - you'll crash the barrier and over the cliff! Almost everyone on the bus, including many scientists, engineers and mechanics are screaming at you to slow down.

But others are aboard too - some who have some kind of pecuniary interest in keeping the bus rolling faster. They tell you, 'Oh, Don't worry. This hill might be, or probably is, just a hoax. Joe the barber thinks so and it's all in God's hands anyway. Those pads cost money to replace if you use them! Besides, we're not sure the brakes will even work. My God! Don't risk that expense! Just keep going and see what happens. Hey! Don't even tap the brakes!

What do you do? Do you try the brakes to try to prevent a catastrophe, or do you listen to the guys who insist we can't risk the expense of braking? Oh yeah, did I mention they are the same guys who got your country into an endless unnecessary war under false pretenses?


That's what the "global warming debate" sounds like to me!

Gnarly

Gnarly & Opinionated
King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 9 Apr 07 21:39
Damned, Gnarley. I think I had that same dream last night! That's terrifying--the bus going down the hill (and over the cliff)!

I can attest, having been an eye-witness to my own surroundings (Durham, N.C.), that the past several winters, possibly three have been, by far, the warmest winters I have ever experienced in this area of the country.

There has been a dramatic difference. Whether or not it is a permanent shift, remains to be seen, but I'm not going to hold my breath waiting.

Bush and Co. and others with big oil, big money interests, I'm convinced, will not tell me the truth. So, I will go to sources that, ****, there are no sources without big money interests. Where's the f'in government when you need them?!?@##%&



Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Gnarly Erik
This user is offline Gnarly Dude
Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
Registered: 16 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Website
Posted: 10 Apr 07 02:33 - Edited By: Gnarly Erik, 10 Apr 07 02:34
Stay away from the Dark Star King - for the truth is not in them. Better you should refer to the 90% of the world's experts who do know the truth - for they have been warning us for several decades now.

But, it is like hollering down a well - it just bounces back off all the propaganda that money can buy. It was enough for me that Exxon-Mobil found it necessary to fund groups (for millions over the years) with green sounding names (like 'Global Climate Coalition)to create a political smoke screen to question the scientific conclusions. There's a synopsis here:

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines03/0528-10.htm

In fact, there is no REAL debate at all - just a lot of smoke and mirrors - which vested interests are very good at providing - to 'question' the actual scientific evidence. They've been extraordinarily successful too, and a goodly percentage of the American public now think the issue is simply a UN plot to control the world!

If you live in the high latitudes as I do, you can see the evidence all around you. A nearby glacier to Juneau has receded nearly 1 mile in 15 years for example - and about 5-6 miles in 200 years, coincidentally since the beginning of the industrial revolution. Nine of the past ten years have been the hottest ever recorded on average, and the process is very noticiably accelerating.

It's past time to holler for the brakes.

Gnarly

Gnarly & Opinionated
King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 10 Apr 07 03:43
I hear ya Gnarly. In a better world we would be able to go to our government to protect us from this rape! But since they are bought and sold like corporations and by corporations, where is our recourse?

As consumers, we must educate ourselves and use all the tools in this information age at our disposal to find out who's doing what in the world. This includes finding out what companies are decent and which ones are not so, and making an effort not to support the ones that are disgraceful and supporting the ones that are better.

It's never always black and white, but it's better to make an informed decision than not. Remember (I know I'm speaking to the choir) that each person, everyday "votes" with their money. If enough people realize it, they have the power to put corporations and governments "out of business." Everyone just has to get on board.



Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Gnarly Erik
This user is offline Gnarly Dude
Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
Registered: 16 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Website
Posted: 10 Apr 07 16:16 - Edited By: Gnarly Erik, 10 Apr 07 16:24
Voting with your money is not much help when virtually everything is owned and controlled by corporatism - you simply can not divorce yourself from contributing to global warming every time you buy a gallon of gas or a loaf of bread, or ink for your printer.

I noticed for example, each time I buy the (horrendously overpriced) ink cartridges for my printer they come in a heavyweight plastic thermoplastic package which contains a cardboard box, which contains a heavy foil package which contains a hard plastic cartridge which contains about 4/10ths of an ounce of ink! In fact I went so far as to weigh everything on accurate scales and found that Epson sells me that small amount of ink in roughly 10 times the weight in packaging! When I wrote to question this they very courteously answered that, thank you very much, but they had researched things and knew far better than me what was good for me!

Effectively then, Epson leaves me with four choices: 1) - suck in my gut and accept things their way, or 2)- change printers and suppliers, (but that's no help since they all do it), or 3) - go back to doing things longhand in my composition book and haul my printer to the dump, or 4) - constantly lobby for some sort of sanity in the utilization of resources and energy. Being gnarly and hardheaded, I have chosen option #4.

True you can "BUY BLUE" which merely means you can buy only from those who provide monetary support to 'democratic' candidates. But, that does not automatically translate into support for ecological sanity, though it may be measurably better than the alternative.

The only real remedy is to generate so much uncomfortable pressure that the powers that be are eventually forced to acknowledge and take action.

Gnarly

Gnarly & Opinionated
queen mudder
This user is offline Spoof Queen
queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 10 Apr 07 16:25

Quote: Gnarly Erik

when virtually everything is owned and controlled by corporatism
Gnarly


Some really big individual players who have patented new generation Helium3-powered air transport engines are also involved in ownership of oil giants. Ever tried to find out who really owns Chevron? Pretty damned near impossible becasue of the company's PR secrecy. But that's where one of the top clues lies.

Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 10 Apr 07 16:36 - Edited By: King David, 10 Apr 07 16:38
Gnarly,

Yes, you are better (and more dangerous to the corporate elite) if you are an informed consumer. All companies have their positives and negatives, but it is up to us to forgo laziness and do the leg work to find out who is doing what to whom and what are the consequences that are being made in corporate America.

There is always a choice.

Citgo and Britsh Petroleum (BP) are the less "evil" choices when it comes to gas. Chavez in Venezuela has a record of being more humanitarian than Exxon, Texaco or Cheveron. Shell is about 50/50 according to what I've found.

Computer ink cartridges seem to be one of the biggest scams in the universe. I try to use the school printers for most of my work (which I use to teach with).

The first thing that has to happen in Washington before there is any chance of there being a level playing field for anyone is for congress to pass a campaigne spending law with teeth that actually does curtail the vast amounts of revenue spent on elections. That has to happen before Washington even has a chance at acting independently and protecting the consumer and environment from the greedy money grabbers so prevalent in this culture.

If people would just remember history all of this has happened before. There is nothing new under the sun. It's all just disguised as one great, big giant chocolate Easter bunny, so that you'll want to go out and buy more after you become addicted to the mess.

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 10 Apr 07 16:50 - Edited By: King David, 10 Apr 07 16:51

Quote: queen mudder

Some really big individual players who have patented new generation Helium3-powered air transport engines are also involved in ownership of oil giants. Ever tried to find out who really owns Chevron? Pretty damned near impossible becasue of the company's PR secrecy. But that's where one of the top clues lies.


Related:

Car companies have had the technology to run vehicles on alternative fuel sources for a lot longer than they'll lead on. They could make the transformation much quicker than they are doing it.

But their coziness to big oil won't let them. Why should they change if both are making millions off gasoline engine-powered vehicles?

It's the consumer that will ultimately set the tone of what everyone, big car, big oil and polititians do.

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Gnarly Erik
This user is offline Gnarly Dude
Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
Registered: 16 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Website
Posted: 10 Apr 07 18:49
In my opinion TWO things are needed for true reform of politics: 1): Actual, enforceable campaign finance reform so money can't inevitably determine who runs things, and 2): TERM LIMITATIONS.

I believe even rank amateurs running the government would be much better than the career politicians of today, who must whore themselves daily to stay in office. Maybe something like a 'military draft' or 'jury duty' for qualified citizens. Almost anything would be better than what we are saddled with today. An actual 'CITIZEN' approach to running things is needed. Even though you are bound to get some bad apples, overall I am convinced things would be much better for PEOPLE - maybe not as efficient, but better. And, I always believed that governments existed for people, not greedy corporations.

I have noticed that whenever a populist appears on the scene, like Hugo Chavez (with all his warts), the corporatist machine goes into overdrive to discredit and destroy them. All the stops are pulled out and no effort, fraud, deceit, propaganda, etc. is spared. Anything goes, up to and including assassination. Ever notice how many populist leaders have suffered attacks over the past 40 years or so? Two Kennedy's, ML King, even Gov. George Wallace of Alabama. And how many more have suffered vicious character assassinations?

Do you realize how many campaigns against international populists have been sponsored supported, or even executed by the CIA beginning in the 'fifties? Here's just a few of the more notorious ones:

1953-Iran; 1954-Guatamala; 1959-Cuba; 1973-Chile; 1981-El Salvador; 1982-Nicaragua; 2002 Venezuela; There were numerous other smaller ones besides.

I did a little research on this a while back and you can read my blog on this subject here: CAN OUR MOTHER BE A LYING WHORE?



Gnarly & Opinionated
Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

 Forum Profile
Posted: 10 Apr 07 19:03
In my mind, the worst example of politicians running things is the Cabinet. Let's take Secretary of State for example. Right now, we have Condi. What qualifications did she have for the position? She is a politician. That is, in our current government all of the qualifications that you need to run a cabinet department.

Now, is there a person out there, man or woman, who started out in the state department straight out of college, who worked their way up through the ranks, who knows the ins and outs and everything about their job and is a top official in that department? Wouldn't that career person be the best for the job?

The same is true for Commerce, Treasury, Interior, and all of the other government departments. The people who should be running them are the people who worked their way up from the bottom and know everything about them.

If this were the case, we might not have the head of the department of education, under the direction of his president, declaring that ketchup is a vegetable. The head of the department of the interior might not think that we mine wood. The head of The Office of Management and Budget might actually be able to figure out sales tax.

In most other areas of business, success can be rewarded. In government service, it is not even considered.



Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
queen mudder
This user is offline Spoof Queen
queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 10 Apr 07 20:02 - Edited By: queen mudder, 10 Apr 07 20:03

Quote: Jalapenoman

Let's take Secretary of State for example. Right now, we have Condi. What qualifications did she have for the position? (blockquote]
____________________________________________________________

Condi: her achilles heel lies in why she got thrown out from the board of directors at Chevron, and why her name was wiped off from the oil tanker named after her which was then changed to the Altair Voyager.

There are some very powerful ultra low profile publicity hating shareholders in that company who have chosen to play one hell of a waiting game before going public with the litigation background that got Condi the boot.

Ditto their litigation history with the Bush family.

The demarcation lines in this feud go back to the 1944 Roosevelt/Truman administration and zigzag across the official State Secrets of both the US and the UK.

As far as having a political system of Presidential patronage is concerned it has always been Democrats who have mooted the idea of One Ticket Names All policy.

That way voters eyeing for instance Bush/Cheney would have known that they're actually voting for Bush/Cheney/Colon Bowel/Donald Rumsfeld etc.

At least in the UK every Cabinet post is filled by an elected politician who can be booted out by the voters of his/her constituency and not appointed by his/her lunatic mobster boss on a whim.

Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
queen mudder
This user is offline Spoof Queen
queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 10 Apr 07 20:21 - Edited By: queen mudder, 10 Apr 07 20:23

Quote: King David

Chavez in Venezuela has a record of being more humanitarian than Exxon, Texaco or Cheveron.



I don't think so.

Chavez decries the Bushes but has a grim and grisly KGB past rooted in criminality of the most appalling kind.

He and Brazil's Lulua da Silva, Robert Mugabe and Vladimir Putin were all spawned in the same cold war hellhole that has given us Blair and Bush Junior and Spain's Aznar after a series of turf wars that ultimately gave the Bushes the upper hand.

Chavez looks like a savior to his poor brainwashed desperate fellow countrymen but he's now banned booze. How long do you think he'll last on that particular ticket?

The shareholders who booted out Condi from the Chevron Board after a major spying and harrassment scandal also hold all the legal dynamite about Chavez because of the ownership overlap of Venezuelan oilfields that Chavez nationalised.

From my professional legal involvement with the Chevron Corp during my work as a barrister I'd say their humanitarian record is pretty high. Their employee welfare policies are possibly the envy of the industry.

BP on the other hand has a string of disasters on its record a large number of which are currently going through the US courts.

Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 11 Apr 07 02:21
Interesting to know your insiders take on Chevron. I heard news lately that BP has begun to slip in England (rumors that they are calling them Big Problem). Need to get more information on that.

But I'm not convinced that Chavez is not going to at least make himself look good in the shadow of our imperialist plutocracy. He and Castro have been masters at defining themselves as the anti-America over the years. Yes, they are politicians out of the cold war "hellhole", but I want to see somebody help those that need it the most.

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Gnarly Erik
This user is offline Gnarly Dude
Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
Registered: 16 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Website
Posted: 11 Apr 07 02:37
You'd almost think that the US had a stake in promoting Castro and Chavez. US policies for decades has driven the popularity of Castro in Cuba through thick and thin. I understand it's now hard to find anyone in Cuba who doesn't like him. Guess the Cubans who hate him are all in Miami getting rich and driving US policy against Castro.

Now, we are seeing a similar phenomenon in Venezuela. The more the US disses Chavez, the more the common Venezuelans flock to him. The poor, downtrodden ones in any case. The rich upper crust aren't so enamored of him, but then the rich never are when the serfs begin getting the least little bite of the cake.

Thus, it has always been so.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that US 'democracy' is for the little guys, because that just ain't so and never has been.

Gnarly

Gnarly & Opinionated

 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum

Who is online?

There are no registered users currently online.


Profile Featured Writer

Katarina Frogpond2
Katarina Frogpond2
Joined: 05 October 2009
Stories Written: 231
40 readers are online right now!

Go to top