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Buck E Filbert
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Buck E Filbert

Location: Sunset and Vine in Hollywood
Registered: 29 Nov 06

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Posted: 3 Jan 07 08:05 - Edited By: Buck E Filbert, 3 Jan 07 09:34
Just wondering if everyone goes through an exploitive
phase when wrtiing spoofs? Some stuff I put out there
I think is clever, very few people read. If I say vagina
everything blows up. I'm not stupid and realize sex
sells but do you find yourself writing to attract eyes or
do you write for yourself then hope the eyes get it?

Or do the elements and stars align occasionally and you luckily achieve both?

BEF

spoofing is futile
queen mudder
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queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

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Posted: 4 Jan 07 00:11
Someone asked this question on another website I was looking thru the other day and got one reply saying 'if you think you gotta cyber-stalker ain't nothin' like winding him/her up with your fictionalised blog'. I got the feeling he thought the Feds/private investigators/creditors were trailing him and created a blog angled to gee them up a bit.

How it's angled is a personal matter. Awful lot of gynaecologicals on this site!

qm

Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
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Posted: 4 Jan 07 01:44 - Edited By: Gnarly Erik, 4 Jan 07 01:48
Funny this should come up just now! - I just posted a small tongue-in-cheek article on this very subject!

Whoredom's Handmaidens & Brittany Spears

I just wonder at the reasons for this. Do authors fear they lack talent enough to attract readers to their stories? Do they fear the readers are such vicariously vapid people they gravitate only to sensational silliness about entertainers? Maybe those are well founded fears since so many writers do resort to the tactic and attract such numbers of readers.

Ah well, such is life in our world today which speaks volumes about our culture(?) I think!

Gnarly & Opinionated
Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

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Posted: 4 Jan 07 01:44
I'll admit that some of the stuff I write just because I know people will look at it, like Britney, Paris, and Bush (hmmm, using those three together in one sentence makes me think about that episode again).

Some of the stuff I do is because I want to ridicule something stupid in the world or in the news, and this is a way I can do it (and not have to worry about being politically correct). I think we all do this with political figures.

Sometimes I'll stretch one joke or pun into a whole story, just to do the "gotcha" at the end. These generally get the lowest ratings.

Some of the stuff that I have written that I do for my own pleasure, and feel it is my best stuff, is quite often the writing that gets the fewest looks or points. An exception to this would be my story from last year on "White Entertainment Television." I was tired of the double standards and minority whines and wrote it, and it was a well viewed and high rated piece, so many must have agreed with me.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Buck E Filbert
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Buck E Filbert

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Posted: 4 Jan 07 01:53 - Edited By: Buck E Filbert, 4 Jan 07 02:14
The other day I came up with the network execs moral delima about how much of the Saddam hanging to show and as I was writing the story Drudge posted some wigged out Saddam hanging video in it's entirety.

You can't write this stuff weirder or faster than what's really happining real time.

I was writing a spoof script based on the Britney miss adventures and I'd write the logical direction I thought
it should go and two days later it woud happen.

She'd take the wind totally out of my sails. I finally gave up, I couldn't write it stupider than it was actually
happening.

Oh well such is life..




BEF

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Buck E Filbert
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Buck E Filbert

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Posted: 4 Jan 07 07:58 - Edited By: Buck E Filbert, 4 Jan 07 07:58
Gnarly Eric

We're not lost on the fact your title has Britney Spears in it. I know not spelled "Britney" but Brittany.

Is it OK to be totally infatuated.in love with Britney's vagina on a personel level?


BEF

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Matt Linehan
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Posted: 4 Jan 07 09:03
I'm new here. Hi.

I just write what makes me laugh. Sad, yes, I make myself laugh - but I just imagine someone else has written it... dislocate from it iyswim.

So I guess I do it to make me happy. I don't care if its crap - it entertains me and maybe someone with the same unfortunate sense of humour

Buck E Filbert
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Buck E Filbert

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Posted: 4 Jan 07 09:54 - Edited By: Buck E Filbert, 4 Jan 07 09:55
Sometimes I crack me up!! Welcome Matt happy new year


BEF

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Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
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Posted: 4 Jan 07 16:10
Well Bucky -

Just color me RED! I guess my spelling of "BRITTANY" only shows how much attention I pay to her and other 'superstars' all the rage with the public. At my point in life (pretty darned 'mature' [being kind to myself]) I just can't get myself all excited speculating about her vagina - or any other parts of her anatomy.

Some of the other actresses do appeal to me but I guess "BRITNEY" just ain't my type . . .

And yes, using her name in the article was deliberate - and I thought pretty transparent way to illustrate the point of my little piece. I'll go back and edit the name for accuracy. For a 'satire' piece it is getting a fair amount of activity and I guess the name is the reason. Darned sure can't be my superlative writing.

Thanks for pointing out the name spelling - I would have never known!

Gnarly Erik

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Matt Linehan
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Posted: 4 Jan 07 18:39

Quote: Buck E Filbert

Sometimes I crack me up!! Welcome Matt happy new year


BEF


Thanks Buck, same to you and everyone else here.

Buck E Filbert
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Buck E Filbert

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Posted: 4 Jan 07 20:05 - Edited By: Buck E Filbert, 4 Jan 07 23:31
Gnarly Eric

Hey Gnarly, I hope that mature thing hasn't left you
lusting for Betty White.

There are nice girls like Jessica Alba and to not appreciate that would constitute near death for a male.

Whore the traffic, it's a good thing. I really do live in Hollywood, 4 blocks from Hollywood and Vine, so my exposure to starletts vagina's is probably 100x normal rate, to bag on them is a natural outlet. Before, The Spoof, I never would have known, or cared the correct spelling of these girls names either.


BEF

spoofing is futile
Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
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Posted: 5 Jan 07 02:26 - Edited By: Gnarly Erik, 5 Jan 07 02:32
Wal Bucky -

That Betty White might have been something in her time I guess - along with a lot of others that maybe are looking sorta gnarly today - if they haven't already kicked off. But hey - we all 'mature' - even you Mr. Bucky, will in due course, and you may look back fondly & nostalgically on these times then too. Much like "Rose" in the movie "Titanic" who looked back on her days on the ship in 1912 (the young version played by Kate Winslet, the old woman version by Gloria Stuart)

Some of those movie gals were pretty hot way back then in my younger days too - all the rage - but most of them you probably wouldn't even know their names - hell, I can't remember myself! Every generation or age has it's idols it seems, then passes on. I particularly remember Bridget Bardot and Jayne Mansfield though.

Here's just a few of the things we didn't have back then:

Computers, internet, cell phones, CD's, not even cassetts or 8 tracks, cellophane, safety caps on bottles, pop tops on beer cans, TV (It wasn't introduced until about 1950 and most people didn't get a set until late in that decade), push button phones, foreign made autos, jet airplanes, diesel cars, polio vaccine, interstate highways, police radar, paper milk cartons, more than four or five flavors of breakfast cereal or soda pop - the list is endless.

Nonetheless, I LIKE most of the conveniences we have today - it's just that everyone seems to get pretty spoiled overall.

As for Hollywood - never been there in my life - closest I've come is passing thru LAX on the way somewhere else (you don't want to know WHERE). And, we're sorta deprived on starlets passing by on the street here where I live too (Alaska). Hell, this is so far back in the sticks, even when they make movies or shows ABOUT Alaska, they usually make them somewhere else!

Last movie personality I know about coming thru here was Ronnie Reagan about 1967 or so - oh wait, Kris Kristopherson made a movie here a few years ago - does that count? Doesn't matter to me since I didn't see him, and didn't need or care to. He probably wouldn't have compared well with Britney's vagina anyway.

Gnarly Erik

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Buck E Filbert
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Buck E Filbert

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Posted: 5 Jan 07 03:50
I'm no spring chicken myself just breaching the big 50.
I'm young enough to move with the times and yet old enough to appreciate and respect the past all in the same thought..

Alaska, man that's out there, what do you all do up there? I'd imagine the fishing and hunting are spectacular enough.

Let me ask you a question. I just saw, An Inconvientent
Trurh, are you seeing the fallout from the global warming effect there?

BEF


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Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
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Posted: 5 Jan 07 20:13
Well Bucky,

I could tell you how old I actually am, but then I might have to hunt you down.

To answer your question, all northern latitudes are seeing some pretty drastic climatic changes in recent years. it is very noticeable in my area where we get far less snow by several feet each season, and much more rain than formerly . Tho' you couldn't notice it much today as the snow is really coming down right now. A nearby glacier has receded at least half a mile in the last 15 years. All the glaciers in my region are very noticeably receding. I'm told the average temperatures have increased by several degrees here which causes a lot of change in so many different ways.

Certain species of trees are dying off by the zillions, more species of animals are moving their habitats much further north, and some of the far northern animals are drastically declining in numbers, particularly animals like polar bears and musk oxen. There is a huge local fishing economy which is being affected in many unpredictable ways. Some of the salmon spawning streams are now so warmed in summer the fry do not survive for example, and on and on and on.

It's sorta nice to have less cold winters, but it is also very unsettling since subconsciously you sense something is wrong. It makes you sort of uneasy about things.

There remain some otherwise intelligent people out there who either claim (with a straight face) there's no such thing as global warming, or if there is, humans haven't caused it. I don't know what planet they came from, but I'm pretty sure they must have brought their Easter Bunnies with them.

Skeptics are like a truck driver stubbornly (& stupidly) refusing to brake his rig hurtling down a dangerous grade because the grease jockey back at the truck stop told him the curve on all the maps really isn't there.

EXXON/MOBILE for example, invests a lot of money trying to refute global warming claims. They sponsor groups both openly, and secretly behind the scenes with opposite sounding names like "Frontiers of Freedom"and "Consumer Alert". Their stated goal is: "Victory will be achieved when uncertainties in climate science become part of the conventional wisdom" for "average citizens" and "the media." It's all pretty cynical and self-serving. Just Google ' "Exxon" + global warming' if you are interested.

These industry shills persuade many people - by introducing 'doubt' - and, especially here where the "awhl bidness"is a big part of our economy.

This got a bit more wordy than I intended but it's your fault since you touched on a subject dear to my heart.

Gnarly Erik




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Buck E Filbert
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Buck E Filbert

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Posted: 5 Jan 07 21:29 - Edited By: Buck E Filbert, 5 Jan 07 21:44
It boggles my mind as to where they think they're going with this status quoe bull****. I mean, do they have somewhere else to move to we don't know about?

Where are their childern's children going to live when this is uninhabital? Am I missing something all together.


It's a subject that should be dear to all our hearts after
all it's the survial of our species. We've only got one
earth, screw that up it's the insects turn.

I don't know if you notice or if it's going on in Alaska but
have you seen the unusual contrails left by jets lately? Over L.A they're laying out grids in the sky of what looks like some kind of spray that spider webs out and becomes a sort of cloud cover. My friends and
I have been observing it for the last few years.

It's obvious where they start spraying and end spraying.

A regular contrail follows behind a plane and dissapates into nothing, this stuff is different it hangs
and creates cloud cover.

I've been wondering if this is some sort of warming
defense they're not copping to. You can't admit to something that doesn't exsist now can you?

Bush came out yesterday and acknowledged global
warming.

If you have not seen the Gore video I'd highly reccomend it as mandatory viewing for everyone on the
planet. The observations are conclusive and undeniable.

Also, Who Killed the Electric Car is alarming too.


BEF

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Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
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Posted: 5 Jan 07 23:13
I look at it this way: The people who so adamently deny something as evident as global warming are one of four things. Either they are:

1. Very dense (stupid) or;
2. Very, very gullible & easily managed or;
3. A combination of 1 & 2 above or;
4. Exceedingly selfish, self-centered and cynically greedy.

The category 4 cynics put me in mind of royalty of old who murdered their own children to protect their thrones, or the princes who murdered their parents to gain the throne. They simply do not care what happens to everyone else so long as they gratify themselves. You see many of this type in politics today, particularly in the Bush Administration. Some, like Cheney are almost a caricature of the type. But don't make the mistake of believing only Neocon Republicans do this. It can be found in anyone feeling themselves omnipotent.

I believe most of the global warming deniers are of category 2 (gullible) and of category 4 - simply so greedy & avaricious & selfish they DON'T CARE about the succeeding generations, including their own children and grandchildren. Either way they are a great disappointment to humankind.

I read a study on aircraft contrails which conjectured that rather than COOL the planet by reflecting more sunlight, the contrails actually ADD TO THE WARMING by holding in the heat. The recommendation was to have more high altitude flights occur during nighttime hours.

But, you know how far that will get if it inconveniences anyone.

Gnarly Erik



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Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
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Posted: 6 Jan 07 00:52
This change is not just affecting Alaska.

I used to live in Ruidoso, New Mexico. If you are unfamiliar with the town, you may have heard of the Lincoln County War (happened there), Sheriff Pat Garrett, Billy the Kid, John Chisholm, or Smokey the Bear. The movie "Young Guns" is a really off the wall, faked history version of the Lincoln County War. The territorial governor who settled that war was Lew Wallace, who was most famous for being a civil war general (north) and the author of Ben Hur.

Anyway, this area is heavily forested. It is the home of the Inn of the Mountain Gods resort and Ski Apache, the southernmost ski resort in the United States. It is also home of Ruidoso Downs, home of the All American Quarterhorse Futurity (for many years the richest purse in horse racing, paying even more than the Preakness, Kentucky Derby, or Bellmont Stakes).

Anyway, we have been in a drought for many years. The forest is dying off and receeding. The area, which used to be great for hiking, camping, and fishing, must now close the forest every summer; fire danger is too high without any rain. Eagle creek, a river formerly in the area, is no more. Last winter, the ski slopes had to operate all year on man-made snow and were only able to open about 8 out of over 50 trails. Fire danger is so high that everyone has been encouraged to cut down all pine and other trees within 75 feet of their homes to give them a defensible space.

The drought is blamed on the global warming, which is only a "myth" perpetuated by the "liberal tree huggers."

This weather has killed farming and ranching in the mountains up there. The loss of rain has also killed the economy in addition to killing the environment.

Yes, global warming is real. It killed my job too.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

Location: Alaska, USA
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Posted: 6 Jan 07 03:20
So long as money is allowed to trump everything else we'll always be plagued with such things as global warming, and other excesses that the greedy foist on the rest of us.

The only defense is a citizenry who is educated and involved enough to call 'foul' in the face of such cynical greed and abuse of our planet and it's inhabitants. Each person must do their best to expose the hypocrisy and corruption which threatens our world.

I believe that today's internet offers a great medium and provides the hope that we as individuals may cry loudly and strongly enough to prevail over the dark forces.

Do your bit!

Gnarly Erik

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King David
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King David

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Posted: 6 Jan 07 03:57 - Edited By: King David, 6 Jan 07 11:59
Absolutely. I have enjoyed following this conversation as it winds through different lands and mindscapes. We are the shapers of our future. All citizens must know how important their decisions are on the rest of us, no matter where we live.

It's worth it to do a little research to find out which corporations and businesses are doing what in the world. Since most of the world's power is wielded by the multi-nationals, it is up to us, the citizens to decide which companies we will support with our hard-earned money and keep in power and which ones we will not.

Everyday, each one of us "votes" with our dollars which companies we feel are worthy to stay in power and which ones are not. I feel with the way things are today in the world, it's very important to know what companies are doing what and to make local choices whenever possible.

Local usually means less enegry used to transport and fresher when it comes to perishables.

And as the old axiom goes, "the farthest distance anyone of us must travel in our lifetime is the six inches that it takes us to get from our head to our hearts." (for some it is admittedly from the other direction)

And, if you're like that Chiquita Bannana on the john, you have a little farther to go. I hear ya J-man somethin' might be comin'.

King

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
King David
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King David

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Posted: 6 Jan 07 12:02 - Edited By: King David, 6 Jan 07 12:03
Ok J-man eat your heart out, "Straight Banana's On The Run; Do Not Fit Into Dairy Queen's New Gay Culture."

King

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

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Posted: 6 Jan 07 18:37 - Edited By: Gnarly Erik, 6 Jan 07 22:18
King David -

Regarding voting with your wallet - you probably already know about this site which scores companies according to their politics. I keep their bookmark on my browser's title bar to check on any companies I might be tempted to buy online from:

BUY BLUE

Every little bit can help if enough people are involved. Perhaps it will also help to let the companies know how you feel about things too.

It is not always possible to direct your business this way, but it often is.

Gnarly Erik

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King David
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King David

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Posted: 6 Jan 07 21:32 - Edited By: King David, 6 Jan 07 21:33
Thanks Gnarley for the site info. No, I've never seen that one. Looks like a relatively new one.

I usually go with a green consumer guide, or with former Texas State Ag. Comminsioner, Jim Hightower's "Lowdown." He's a great advocate for sustainable agriculture and no nonsense, down-to-earth politics. He also has a scathing wit and his very funny.

Our local farmer's market in Durham is wonderful and has grown quite a bit over the past several years. That's one of my favorite places to go. In the past, I've played music there, met friends, bought flowers and the best produce in Durham. Can't wait for spring to roll around.

Weather in Durham (North Carolina) has been frighteningly warm this winter. It got up to 75 degrees today and was sunny. Everyone feels like they're at the beach. A little disarming though for January.

King

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

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Posted: 6 Jan 07 22:15 - Edited By: Gnarly Erik, 6 Jan 07 22:19
Yeah King David -

We're seeing some strange weather here too (Alaska) from time to time - very noticable here since the pendulum seems to swing further in the high latitudes. I have a son who lives in Winston-Salem, so I am fairly up to date on the weather in your part of the world.

Speaking of 'green agriculture' in your area, a relative of mine ran for SC Ag Commissioner on a 'green' platform in the 2006 election (did not make it, but came close), and he's very into greenie agriculture. I've never visited, but his mom tells me he has a sort of organic farm near Columbia where he raises something he calls 'Heirloom Pork" - an old or archaic breed of swine fed on 'mast' - natural forage. You may want to check it out:

CAW CAW CREEK FARM

BUY BLUE has been around for two or three years at least, but it has grown a lot in the past year as more and more folks use the site, and submit more information to it.

Cheers,
Gnarly Erik

Gnarly & Opinionated
Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 7 Jan 07 00:57
Just thought I'd add a little bit of info on this global warming!

I now live in Las Cruces, New Mexico. This is about half an hour from El Paso, Texas (known as the sun city).

Today, we got three inches of snow!!!!!! We can't get snow in the mountains 120 miles away to help the ski slopes, but we can get snow in the flatlands/desert!

Back in August, we got 16 inches of rain in two weeks, 7 of it in one day (we average less than eight inches a year). Homes were destroyed, cars were destroyed, roads were destroyed. We did not have the drainage to deal with that much water and the ground was too saturated to take any more.

This is weird weather!!

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
President Bush
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Posted: 7 Jan 07 04:10 - Edited By: President Bush, 7 Jan 07 04:16
Jenna (my youngest) says her prof says, global warming's all in your mind. We, or at least I can't without Saddam's vast oil supplies affect the content of that GAS in our atmosphere, it's name escapes me without Laura being here as I type this but

VENUS. Severe global warming there because that GAS (oxide) built up over the years, made the place hot. That's the explanation NASA gives me. I ain't no Rock scientist so they probably have more detailed truth's about global warming for all you rock scientists out there.


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