This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / General Discussion / Merry Christmas!


[This topic is LOCKED]

AuthorMessage
KendoMonkey
This user is offline Chief Clown


Location: England
Registered: 29 Mar 03

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 23 Dec 06 15:54 - Edited By: Paul Lowton, 23 Dec 06 15:57
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone! We hope everyone has a great holiday and we look forward to a cracker of a New Year.

We have as part of this festive season made a donation to the International Red Cross, or Red Cresent as it is sometimes known and we hope you join us in wishing a better year to those all over the world affected by disease, famine, natural disaster and war.

Once again, many thanks for your continued contributions and for raising a million smiles.

Paul & Mark.

Nope, that's silly, check out Laughsend satire news
Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

 Forum Profile
Posted: 23 Dec 06 21:33
Thanks for the Merry Christmas wish.

Today is the hardest day of the year for me. On December 23rd, 1994, my youngest daughter passed away due to complications from a massive siezure. I always have it rough this time of the year.

Today, I logged on to check my stats and started reading some of the other stories. They uplifted me a little and took me out of my funk. I even read the newspaper, saw some headlines there, and posted a few stories.

Thanks to all of the writers for helping to brighten my day and get me out of my doldrums.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
President Bush
This user is offline Texican Dude


Location: Crawford
Registered: 19 Aug 06

 Forum Profile
Posted: 23 Dec 06 22:59 - Edited By: President Bush, 23 Dec 06 23:06
Hang in there Mr Peno, we've all been there. I'm there myself even this holiday. Big time. I say regardless of your religious presuasion, you know the drill, it's only a temporary separation, all's ok. We the one's left behind, especially during this time are the ones that feel sadness. Acknowledge, don't hold anything back but rejoice .. all will work out in the end. Why not channel any sad feelings into creativity, a story even, I DO recommend doing that Mr Peno because in oh about 17 minutes your president's about to overtake you on the charts.

Merry

Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

 Forum Profile
Posted: 24 Dec 06 00:41
Mr. President,

I go nine days without posting any stories, and it takes you that long to pass me up!

Where are your Florida vote counters when you need them?

The J-man

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
President Bush
This user is offline Texican Dude


Location: Crawford
Registered: 19 Aug 06

 Forum Profile
Posted: 24 Dec 06 00:56 - Edited By: President Bush, 24 Dec 06 01:03


you rule this place Mr Peno when you want to. All you gotta do is POST.

Check your local latest chartz though, x:54 AM (depend'n on your specific time zone ..



President Bush: 1
MR PENO : goose egg

more stories please. I've even got you bookmarked here in Opera in case you write something new. Me and Barney love your stuff. Laura's too busy to read, off shopping and all.

"Jeb? What's up with them vote counter machines? Mr Peno asked why it took 9 days to catch up with him. I won that 04 election fair and square right down there? Right?

:

Jeb?

Dad?



King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 24 Dec 06 01:24 - Edited By: King David, 24 Dec 06 01:27
Alan,

Regards to you and your family on this difficult day. Sorry to hear about your daughter. Glad you were able to post a few stories. Enjoyed reading all of them.

I hope that my article, "Satirist Bit By Rabid Fan; In Trouble For Pissing on Sacred Cows" has sufficently addressed and used the pelt of that dog ASU fan that bit me. Thanks for your story leading up to it.

(You may not care, but last paragraph, story about Barbi the word, "coupon" you left out the "o".

Hang in there,

David

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.
Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

 Forum Profile
Posted: 24 Dec 06 02:18
Oops, guess the spell check missed one.

Thanks for the kind words.

As far as your "vertical negro program," have you seen the NBA? It seems to me it is working just fine. The three most vertical white guys in the NBA (Chuck Nevitt, George Mershan, Sean Bradley), couldn't play center worth a darn! So much for a vertical white plan!

Yes, I know I spelled the NBA players' names wrong, but you hardly ever saw the backs of their jerseys cuz they was always sittin' on the bench, keepin' it warm for the starting centers.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
President Bush
This user is offline Texican Dude


Location: Crawford
Registered: 19 Aug 06

 Forum Profile
Posted: 24 Dec 06 03:01

KRAMER -> N-WORDS RULE the NBA .. uh .. how'd I do Jerry?

I say Michael's not a raciast he's just .. .. just .. somebody help me out with a WORD here to describe Mike.

HELIUM -> Banned?

PREZ -> DING DING DING DING DING!!!!




Oops, guess the spell check missed one.

Thanks for the kind words.

As far as your "vertical negro program," have you seen the NBA? It seems to me it is working just fine. The three most vertical white guys in the NBA (Chuck Nevitt, George Mershan, Sean Bradley), couldn't play center worth a darn! So much for a vertical white plan!

Yes, I know I spelled the NBA players' names wrong, but you hardly ever saw the backs of their jerseys cuz they was always sittin' on the bench, keepin' it warm for the starting centers.


King David
This user is offline The King
King David

Location: "The South"
Registered: 26 Oct 06

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 24 Dec 06 04:21 - Edited By: King David, 24 Dec 06 04:23
Here's one that's pertinent.


Fourth String on the Lakers

Well, the world revolves around me
I'm bigger than the biggest tree
Patrick Ewing and Reggie Miller
Don't have nothing on me
When game time comes around again
I'm always there for my team
But most of the time I'm ridin' the pine
Takin' in all I see

(Chorus) I'm forth string on the Lakers
My home is basketball
But last time I was put in the game
Was way back in the fall
I'm always there to cheer for the guys
Or dispute a ref's bad calls
First to pat old Shaq's behind
And the last to catch his balls

Flyin' into town is always a great big rush
Thousands of fans at the airport
then we're off on a charter bus
we always go to the best restaurants
where the waiters wear white gloves
I'm paid $500,000 a year to watch a game I love

Chorus

Well, some folks are fanatics
All they do is talk
They make good armchair quarterbacks
But they don't walk the walk
I'm always there in team huddles
When the coach is holding chalk
Never any doubt in my mind
Despite a bad press box

Chorus

Beverly Hills it's a dandy
I like to race my car
Takin' it around all the curves
Then I'm off to the local bars
I've always got good inside
And comments about the game
They look at me like I'm familiar
But they don't know my name

Chorus

Well, when I get home
From playing in the game
My family is there to greet me
They love me just the same
They say, "Hello, daddy. How've you been?
We saw you on that play.
First to stood up and then you sat down
And that was the end of your day!"

Chorus

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else is.

 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum

Who is online?

There is 1 registered user currently online: 1 is active , none are currently inactive .

Users online:


Profile Featured Writer

Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13
71 readers are online right now!

Go to top