Forum Home / Login / Register

This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?


[This topic is LOCKED]

2 Pages - [1] 2 »
AuthorMessage
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 19 Aug 15 01:19
There seems to be some mental difficulty with this

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Simon Saunders
This user is offline Writer
Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 19 Aug 15 16:29 - Edited By: Simon Saunders, 19 Aug 15 16:31
The short answer is no.

Having said that, they do have a national team and local clubs. Membership is largely made up of people with Indian, Pakistani and Caribbean heritage.

I looked into it a few years ago when I was planning on moving to Seattle.

The national team recently beat Jersey.

I've tried explaining cricket to American friends and ended up becoming so perplexed by their questions I gave up.

I've been away for a while. Not in prison. I'm back now. Maybe.
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 20 Aug 15 04:12
Time for a Cricket for Dummies geared for Americans filled with a bunch of obtuse, arcane and misleading facts just for fun.


Quote: Simon Saunders

The short answer is no.

Having said that, they do have a national team and local clubs. Membership is largely made up of people with Indian, Pakistani and Caribbean heritage.

I looked into it a few years ago when I was planning on moving to Seattle.

The national team recently beat Jersey.

I've tried explaining cricket to American friends and ended up becoming so perplexed by their questions I gave up.


"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Simon Saunders
This user is offline Writer
Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Aug 15 17:01
Victor,

Include the Duckworth Lewis method. No one who understands that. Even cricket lovers like myself.

I've been away for a while. Not in prison. I'm back now. Maybe.
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Aug 15 17:45
Yes of course, not to be missed.

We used to play tin can cricket as children, not to roaring crowds of course but it was enjoyable nonetheless.




Quote: Simon Saunders

Victor,

Include the Duckworth Lewis method. No one who understands that. Even cricket lovers like myself.


"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Ellie James
This user is offline Moderator
Ellie James

Location: Texas
Registered: 8 Apr 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 24 Aug 15 20:49
I always thought a cricket was an insect.

Simon Saunders
This user is offline Writer
Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 25 Aug 15 19:35
Ellie,

The anatomy and life cycle of a cricket is probably easier to explain than the sport of cricket.

I've been away for a while. Not in prison. I'm back now. Maybe.
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 25 Aug 15 22:43
Well spoken Simon,

Something to be said over billiards.



Quote: Simon Saunders

Ellie,

The anatomy and life cycle of a cricket is probably easier to explain than the sport of cricket.


"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Jean Le Fete
This user is offline Deanalope
Jean Le Fete

Location: Mid No Where
Registered: 14 May 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 29 Aug 15 12:27
I like chocolate covered crickets...

It's not that I can't help these people it's just, I don't want to. - Tom Hanks - Volunteers
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 31 Aug 15 01:00
I believe you are American Jean?


Quote: Jean Le Fete

I like chocolate covered crickets...


"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Ellie James
This user is offline Moderator
Ellie James

Location: Texas
Registered: 8 Apr 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 31 Aug 15 01:52
It is anything like baseball?

victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 31 Aug 15 03:13

Yes, it is played with a ball and is popular in hot climates.
The uniforms are quite dashing.



Quote: Ellie James

It is anything like baseball?


"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Jean Le Fete
This user is offline Deanalope
Jean Le Fete

Location: Mid No Where
Registered: 14 May 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 1 Sep 15 22:56
Aye chief, but I don't claim her when John Boehner or Donald Trump speak. We actually played cricket on our farm in Illinois once. Had some Brits to direct us of course, but that's okay the war has been over for well over 200 years now



Quote: victor nicholas

I believe you are American Jean?


Quote: Jean Le Fete

I like chocolate covered crickets...



It's not that I can't help these people it's just, I don't want to. - Tom Hanks - Volunteers
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 2 Sep 15 01:31
Perhaps the Israelis and Palestinians should play challenge cricket instead,
It may not end either but surely will be more fun.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
rfreed
This user is offline Writer
rfreed

Location: Lost in Ohio of all places.
Registered: 10 Oct 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 3 Sep 15 02:17
Its just baseball with a bat that got run over by a lorry.

victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 4 Sep 15 04:03
Why did the Americans decide to use a round bat when the cricket bat
Improves probability of contact?

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Jean Le Fete
This user is offline Deanalope
Jean Le Fete

Location: Mid No Where
Registered: 14 May 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 4 Sep 15 19:37
Well you've heard the term "blind as a bat" or " like a bat out of hell"? Wells those phrases have absolutely nothing to do with why the American bat is round. Just thought I'd eliminate those for you.

It's not that I can't help these people it's just, I don't want to. - Tom Hanks - Volunteers
Jean Le Fete
This user is offline Deanalope
Jean Le Fete

Location: Mid No Where
Registered: 14 May 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 4 Sep 15 19:57
Okay you got me curious now: Baseball Bats


It's not that I can't help these people it's just, I don't want to. - Tom Hanks - Volunteers
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 4 Sep 15 20:14
Do UK gangsters use cricket bats to break heads.

Only those on the witness protection plan need reply.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Jean Le Fete
This user is offline Deanalope
Jean Le Fete

Location: Mid No Where
Registered: 14 May 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 5 Sep 15 00:49
I've never seen a cricket bat in a Gangster movie, Europeon or Amerikcon


Quote: victor nicholas

Do UK gangsters use cricket bats to break heads.

Only those on the witness protection plan need reply.


It's not that I can't help these people it's just, I don't want to. - Tom Hanks - Volunteers
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 5 Sep 15 00:58

I believe that was the gangster movie where everyone was wearing crisp white uniforms


Quote: Jean Le Fete

I've never seen a cricket bat in a Gangster movie, Europeon or Amerikcon


Quote: victor nicholas

Do UK gangsters use cricket bats to break heads.

Only those on the witness protection plan need reply.



"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Jaggedone
This user is offline Warning: Sharp edges
Jaggedone

Location: Back under the bridge!
Registered: 8 Apr 09

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
 Website
Posted: 5 Sep 15 10:22
I can't even explain my "middle stump"!

Nutters United...
Bill Cosby
This user is offline Writer


Registered: 9 Feb 15

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 6 Sep 15 02:55
Americans view cricket as a sissy game, they prefer violent and devious contact sports like football, boxing, and basketball a game of stealing the ball from the opponents hands. It will take another 2.4 million years before more advanced humans with a higher intellect appreciate the serenity of cricket.

victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 6 Sep 15 23:48 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 6 Sep 15 23:49
Perhaps aliens might field a team

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
rfreed
This user is offline Writer
rfreed

Location: Lost in Ohio of all places.
Registered: 10 Oct 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 7 Sep 15 12:54

Quote: victor nicholas

Why did the Americans decide to use a round bat when the cricket bat
Improves probability of contact?



Because we like drawing things like this out as much as possible.



2 Pages - [1] 2 »
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum
Who is online?

There are no registered users currently online.

Featured writer
Salsero Blanco
Joined: 27 May 2007
Stories Written: 16
Go to top
80 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more