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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 3 Dec 12 13:03
Here's one I heard earlier on the talking radio machine.

Apparently 6 children of school age have been arrested every day in the United Kingdom for a number of serious criminal offences in the past year, including, gun crime, assault, robbery and drug dealing.

Well I for one will be having strong words with my 11 year old son this evening. As for his 5 mates, there's not much I can do about them really.

Are you aware of any worrying statistics folks? eh?......eh?......EH?????

Is this the right forum for a forum?
IainB
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IainB

Location: (noun) a particular place
Registered: 7 Oct 08

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Posted: 3 Dec 12 13:47
1 in 5 men have tried on women's clothing.

1 in 50 did it more than once.

1 in 500 do it a lot.

1 in 5000 prefer it.

1 in 50,000 become a woman.

1 in 500,000 make up statistics about transgender issues.

Debbie

If 42 is the answer, the question is if 24 looks in the mirror, who does she see?
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

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Posted: 3 Dec 12 14:08
9 out of 10 Cats prefer fish to meat.

4 0ut 0f 10 Arabs wished thier camels did not spit.

6 0ut 0f 10 Ants would rather be a wood louse.

20 out 100 suicide jumpers wished they had not.

10 out of 50 men named Clive wished they could win writing compo's like that talented Arm bloke.


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Francois Dubois, S.J.
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Francois Dubois, S.J.

Location: Convent of the Queer, WV
Registered: 17 Feb 12

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Posted: 3 Dec 12 14:45
1 out of 10 Jesuits wish they were Dominicans.

6 out of 10 Jesuits wish they were Jimmy Swaggart

7 out of 10 Jesuits believe Pope Bentdick is the anti-Christ.

9 out of 10 Jesuits wish they were women.

3 out of 10 Jesuits have dated Debbie.

Source:
Jesuit secrets revealed by Fr. Francois Dubois, SJ.
(available exclusively through Good News for Modern Jesuits Publishing House, Convent of the Queer, WV.)

"And the lowly dogs licked Gaztopimus clean as he slept."
From the Lost Gospels of the SSHites: Chapter 6, verse 48
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

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Posted: 3 Dec 12 15:06
1 out of 1 Simon's reckon 99% of statistics are a load of old bollocks.

I know this is true because I just made it up.

Simon the statistician

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
IainB
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IainB

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Posted: 4 Dec 12 11:13 - Edited By: IainB, 4 Dec 12 11:13

Quote: Francois Dubois, S.J.

3 out of 10 Jesuits have dated Debbie.


100% of Debbie's thought they were called Jes Hewitt.

Debbie

If 42 is the answer, the question is if 24 looks in the mirror, who does she see?
HaveIGotNewsForYou
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Registered: 5 Jul 12

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Posted: 4 Dec 12 14:42
4 out of every 2000 spoof contributors has no sense of humor.


 
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