Discussion Forum

This thread is dedicated to questions that have no good answers.

The best answer is always the best answer, and I hope that the learned writers here on theSpoof.com will share their knowledge with us.

Answer seekers should ask their question and the answers, from ever how many answerneers there are, should be on separate pages.

My question, in the title, deserves an answer:

Why do they build the shore so near the ocean?.

Elementary my dear Francisco. It's so that perfectly innocent holidaymakers like myself are sick into their mouths after being treated to the sight of grossly overweight Germans in garish bathing briefs waddling along through the shallows with their purulent arse cracks and luxuriant hairy backs on display to all and sundry.........

And the men aren't much better either.

My question is very simple, just like me.

Why didn't I win the glorious writing compo?

Only kidding.

Here's the real one.

Why do footballers insist on nicking a few yards when they get a free-kick? I could understand it if they were fighting a war when every bit of land you take counts for something but they're definitely not fighting a war, I've checked. Same goes for corners when they put the ball just outside the quadrant.

I've been watching footy for 25 years and it still baffles me, the yard nicking not the football.

Simon

Yep, it's a bit like the players surrounding the ref with their arms flailing wildly after a penalty's been awarded.

In all the years I've been watching the game I've never yet seen the ref turn round to the protesting mellee and say "Oh alright then chaps, you've flailed around so superbly and with such depth of feeling that I'm going to change my mind and let you off.

Goal kick!

If Noah took two of every species aboard the ark, including dinosaurs (as the Creation Museum in Kentucky says he did--of course say they, they were baby dinos) when and why did the beasts die out?

Simple, Frankie...Dinosaur eggs are extremely tasty. They got on the boat - they never got off.

Debbie

I don't like to question fellow spoofers but I can't agree with Debbie.

A mate of mine says his grandad had a copy of 'The Daily Catastrophic Flood' newspaper from shortly after Noah boarded his ark.

He told me that the article he read stated Noah had immediately regretted taking the baby dinosaurs onboard as they'd been extremely bothersome when it came to the other animals. He says that Noah used his lengthy beard to strangle the dino's before feeding them to the other hungry animals.

If David Attenborough had been in charge none of these problems would've surfaced but he was busy with his schooling at the time.

Not my words of course. So don't shoot the messenger.

Obviously this could be a load of old bobbins. Much in the same way as the whole Noah's Ark story probably is.

Simon

If you have both of your feet, does that mean you are undefeated?

Its a good job they do, I paid a fortune for my house by the sea, and do you know what!? The fuckin kids never go near it! We should have stayed in London.



Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxx