This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / General Discussion / Why do they build the shore so near the ocean?


[This topic is LOCKED]

AuthorMessage
Francois Dubois, S.J.
This user is offline Writer
Francois Dubois, S.J.

Location: Convent of the Queer, WV
Registered: 17 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 28 Nov 12 12:50
This thread is dedicated to questions that have no good answers.

The best answer is always the best answer, and I hope that the learned writers here on theSpoof.com will share their knowledge with us.

Answer seekers should ask their question and the answers, from ever how many answerneers there are, should be on separate pages.

My question, in the title, deserves an answer:

Why do they build the shore so near the ocean?.


"And the lowly dogs licked Gaztopimus clean as he slept."
From the Lost Gospels of the SSHites: Chapter 6, verse 48
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 28 Nov 12 13:07
Elementary my dear Francisco. It's so that perfectly innocent holidaymakers like myself are sick into their mouths after being treated to the sight of grossly overweight Germans in garish bathing briefs waddling along through the shallows with their purulent arse cracks and luxuriant hairy backs on display to all and sundry.........

And the men aren't much better either.

Is this the right forum for a forum?
Simon Saunders
This user is offline Writer
Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 28 Nov 12 14:59 - Edited By: Simon Saunders, 28 Nov 12 15:18
My question is very simple, just like me.

Why didn't I win the glorious writing compo?

Only kidding.

Here's the real one.

Why do footballers insist on nicking a few yards when they get a free-kick? I could understand it if they were fighting a war when every bit of land you take counts for something but they're definitely not fighting a war, I've checked. Same goes for corners when they put the ball just outside the quadrant.

I've been watching footy for 25 years and it still baffles me, the yard nicking not the football.

Simon

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 28 Nov 12 16:19
Yep, it's a bit like the players surrounding the ref with their arms flailing wildly after a penalty's been awarded.

In all the years I've been watching the game I've never yet seen the ref turn round to the protesting mellee and say "Oh alright then chaps, you've flailed around so superbly and with such depth of feeling that I'm going to change my mind and let you off.

Goal kick!



Is this the right forum for a forum?
Francois Dubois, S.J.
This user is offline Writer
Francois Dubois, S.J.

Location: Convent of the Queer, WV
Registered: 17 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 28 Nov 12 22:05
If Noah took two of every species aboard the ark, including dinosaurs (as the Creation Museum in Kentucky says he did--of course say they, they were baby dinos) when and why did the beasts die out?

"And the lowly dogs licked Gaztopimus clean as he slept."
From the Lost Gospels of the SSHites: Chapter 6, verse 48
IainB
This user is offline Gentle with me
IainB

Location: (noun) a particular place
Registered: 7 Oct 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 28 Nov 12 22:15
Simple, Frankie...Dinosaur eggs are extremely tasty. They got on the boat - they never got off.

Debbie

If 42 is the answer, the question is if 24 looks in the mirror, who does she see?
Simon Saunders
This user is offline Writer
Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 28 Nov 12 22:51
I don't like to question fellow spoofers but I can't agree with Debbie.

A mate of mine says his grandad had a copy of 'The Daily Catastrophic Flood' newspaper from shortly after Noah boarded his ark.

He told me that the article he read stated Noah had immediately regretted taking the baby dinosaurs onboard as they'd been extremely bothersome when it came to the other animals. He says that Noah used his lengthy beard to strangle the dino's before feeding them to the other hungry animals.

If David Attenborough had been in charge none of these problems would've surfaced but he was busy with his schooling at the time.

Not my words of course. So don't shoot the messenger.

Obviously this could be a load of old bobbins. Much in the same way as the whole Noah's Ark story probably is.

Simon

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
Francois Dubois, S.J.
This user is offline Writer
Francois Dubois, S.J.

Location: Convent of the Queer, WV
Registered: 17 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 1 Dec 12 14:57
If you have both of your feet, does that mean you are undefeated?

"And the lowly dogs licked Gaztopimus clean as he slept."
From the Lost Gospels of the SSHites: Chapter 6, verse 48
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 2 Dec 12 18:49
Its a good job they do, I paid a fortune for my house by the sea, and do you know what!? The fuckin kids never go near it! We should have stayed in London.



Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right

 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum

Who is online?

There is 1 registered user currently online: 1 is active , none are currently inactive .

Users online:


Profile Featured Writer

mikewadestr
mikewadestr
Joined: 16 September 2008
Stories Written: 173

Go to top