Discussion Forum

Dear Deirdrie,

I recently entered a writing competition. The thing is, most of the other contestants are not the same standard as me and I feel guilty about claiming first prize.

Arm xxxxx

Dear Arm,

It is not your fault you are a writing genius and win every competition you enter. If you feel really bad about it, tell them you copied and pasted the story from Simon Saunders, that should do it. By the way, dont suffer with weak bladder problems in silence. I am here to help.

Love Deirdrie.

Dear Deirdrie,

I've recently suffered terrible bullying from some of my fellow writers on a spoof website. One of the perpetrators claims I've been calling other contributors names. Another one went so far as to call me a "suck up." I think it may be because of my boyish good looks, witty repartee and stunning writing ability. I recently won a writing competition (although at the time of writing it isn't official) despite deliberately entering a pathetic effort about a pigeon. I'm afraid that when it becomes public the horrible people on the site will rip me to shreds.

Simon.

Dear Simon,

My advice would be to try not to let it bother you. Thank you for the photo you enclosed. You are indeed a very handsome young man.

Love Deirdre

PS. Call me sometime xxxxx