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Forum Home / General Discussion / National HIV Screening Week Starts In The UK Today!


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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 25 Nov 12 08:52
FACT!

Never let it be said the we Brits dont know how to partaaaaaaay.

*blows on squeaker and draws syringe of blood*

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 26 Nov 12 05:26
Don't panic my friends, the scream's off! I've been given the all clear!!!!

Thank fuck for tha..................*thud*

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 1 Dec 12 06:47
Went down well this thread didn't it folks?

Just heard a spokeswoman for The Aids Foundation reveal on the radio that thousands of HIV riddled Africans are "completely unaware of their status"

Well I'd have thought they'd have far more to worry about than nipping onto Facebook to tell their friends that they're just diving into the bog for a shit really, wouldn't you?

Heartless and unnecessary!

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 1 Dec 12 07:00
Talking of Africans, what with this Aids epidemic that's sweeping the continent and the fact they seem to spend rather a lot of their spare time hacking each other to bits with knives, do you ever think there'll come a time when there's only one rather emaciated geezer left, with a dripping machete in his hand?

Food for thought and no error my friends

Still you dont like to grumble do yers?

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

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Posted: 1 Dec 12 12:25
I remember when the AIDS thing first reared its ugly head, back in the day when it was referred to as the 'gay plague.'

I mentioned in conversation down the pub that one of the most common things to happen with full blown AIDS was the onset of skin cancers, which often proved fatal due to the immune system being destroyed.

This bloke said to me: "How can you die of cancer if you've got AIDS? Don't talk like a cunt."

You see what I have to put up with?

As for Africa, and people hacking other people to pieces with machetes - there's an awful lot of money out there in the form of natural resources, just waiting to be mined, or tapped. Most people want a piece of that, and are prepared to fight for it.

Not dissimilar to the pioneer/gold rush days in America's infancy as a nation.

And to suggest that everyone down there is running around with machetes hacking bits off their neighbours is a tad misleading. I know this bloke who's African...etc etc etc.

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Registered: 11 Jun 10

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Posted: 1 Dec 12 13:07
I had it a couple of years ago, it cleared up in a week.

Oh how I laughed as I punched the face of the man in the pub that said; "Fucking poofs deserve it" laid him spark out I did, and pointed out to his wanker of a friend, that AIDS was a virus that attacked people from all walks of life, a bit like the attack on your moronic mate eh.

Still, yu got to love these ignorant bastards dont ya.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 1 Dec 12 13:33
Everybody running around Africa hacking each other with machetes???

Blimey did I really say that???

Jesus Christ let me write an immediate and sincere retraction.

I Cliveypops being of almost sound mind would like to emphasise in the strongest possible terms that some people that live in Africa remain absolutely machete wound free and in point of fact have never even cut their finger on blade of maize grass.

Having said that however, I did have a good mate at work named Frank who fled war torn Uganda during the despotic reign of General Idi Amin who once banged his head on an oil sump after standing up a bit too quick in the inspection pit.

*lights pipe and begins to browse through "Holidays In Sub Saharan Africa" brochure*

Hmmmmm Ivory Coast looks nice......so does The Democratic Republic Of The Congo.......I'm a bit torn between that and The Sudan really........Oh 'ang on!!!

Jilly! How do you fancy a fortnight's full board at The Hotel Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda this year love?"

Fuck's sake!

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
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Posted: 1 Dec 12 13:40
Why can't I get Mogadishu up on Google Street View?

Just askin'

Skoob.

RIP
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

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Posted: 2 Dec 12 21:06
Just read a thing on the BBC website that says 25,000 people in the UK are HIV positive but don't know about it.

Now then, first of all, the Health Protection Agency, who released these figures, need to explain how they compiled the numbers.

Cynic that I am, I reckon they've plucked a number out the air based on the figures for people that know they're HIV positive and ran with it.

If somehow the figures are accurate, and the only way to know they're accurate is for the HPA to know who's affected, then it might be a good idea for the HPA to contact these 25,000 people and give them the news. Otherwise they may unknowingly spread the virus.

My bet is they've just made the numbers up based on some obscure calculation that only they understand, and in reality they have no idea how many people are unaware and therefore have no idea who's affected.

Obviously I could be horribly wrong. It wouldn't be the first time.

It's like all these illegal immigration figures. How do the government know the numbers? The whole basis of illegal immigration is the government don't know about you.The only way they could know is if the illegal immigrants rang up the government to tell them.

Hands up if you trust government figures.

*thrusts hands onto the floor*

Simon

PS. Sorry, that was a bit serious. Normal service will be resumed shortly................Boobies.

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
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Posted: 2 Dec 12 21:11
Allhah! I cring der guffontment and shell dim Heye aim here illigals, they is tellink mine have money! It nice cuntry!
brings you familis all huncle an harnty. Nice.





Yarmersh Hasbulla
Crouch End

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