Discussion Forum

BBC 2 1.30pm

Snooker: The UK Championship.

"They're spread wide across the table! It's an impossible position! He's going for a deep screw! He's gripping it halfway down the shaft! You can see the protruding butt! Just look at those balls!!!"

Shouldn't be allowed!

ITV3 4:35 today. Wycliffe.

I was looking forward to seeing a new family sitcom about Wyclef Jean, the rapper famous for saying "One time" in the song "Killing Me Softly" by the Fugees. That could have been his comedy catchphrase in the show. I imagined him going round to the vicar's house and being offered some tea. Then when the vicar asked how many lumps of sugar he wanted he would say "One time" with hilarious results.

Imagine my disappointment when I found out it was just another bloody detective show, with no one-line rappers at all.

My TV choice for today is a wonderful spoof.

BBC One @ 9 pm.

The Secret of Crickley Hall.

Excellent spoof of Noel Edmonds' fictional TV village Crinkley Bottom.

The last show in the series sees Noelle Desmond, played by Suranne Jones, discovering devastating information about her son Robbie, played by none other than the legendary Mr Blobby.

Essential viewing.

I like Teh Imbetweeners. This year I entered 6th form myself and would have shared their angst had it not been for wotching Teh Imbetweeners since its inception.

Now I can look forward to as much clunge as I want as I learnt from their mistaikes. I like clunge me.