This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / General Discussion / The Big Match!


[This topic is LOCKED]

AuthorMessage
radiogagger
This user is offline Writer
radiogagger

Location: FM and DAB.
Registered: 29 Dec 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 20 Nov 12 18:24
Not the digitally remastered programme with Brian Moore or Jiminy Hill repeated on ITV4 sundays 6am, but tonights momentus match between Portsmouth and Leyton Orient.

Greetings extended to Ellis who rarely posts here nowadays, probably banned for agreeing with skoob or summit during the uprising.

I was hoping to get down to the south coast for the game and make derogatory comments about the price of beer, and how £4 is very expensive for a one stop journey on the tram, and also observe that the yout' in the shopping mall in the town centre that used to wear a Man United top are now wearing a Man City top, but hey ho, my community service hasn't finished yet.

May the best team win.
Up The O's

'How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything'
T Harv Eker
Skoob1999
This user is offline Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 20 Nov 12 19:36
This user is banned.

Probably suspended by the neck from a flagpole somewhere.

RIP
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 20 Nov 12 20:07
My Auntie Doll supports Leyton Orient. She's from Walthamstow.

If I mention West Ham she says......

"Dont talk about them fuckers in my 'ouse!"

Oh yes.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 20 Nov 12 20:50
Last time I went to Orients ground Clive was selling snide copies of the programme out in the street. I did the decent thing and pointed out to thier fans, that Clive was in fact West Hams biggest fan and a S.M.E.R.S.H. Agent.

It's a funny ole game.

Love as always

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Simon Saunders
This user is offline Writer
Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 20 Nov 12 21:13
I remember seeing the legendary former Leicester goalkeeper Peter Shilton making his 1000th league appearance for Leyton Orient.

A remarkable achievement by Shilton.

Also a remarkable achievement by the Orient groundsman in repairing the goal mouth after Shilton's wheelchair had shredded the six yard box like a madman on a tractor.

Simon

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
Skoob1999
This user is offline Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 20 Nov 12 22:09 - Edited By: Skoob1999, 20 Nov 12 22:10
I remember you Mockney tossers all bottled it and stayed at home when you played United at OT.

ICF my arse.

Mind you, I feel a bit silly typing that, given that I was always too short to ever be classed as a credible hooligan, and that United got beat tonight.

So I think I'll shut up and bugger off to bed.

Before somebody exposes me for the idiot I truly am.

*Hangs head in shame, lights pipe and giggles*

Skoob.

RIP
radiogagger
This user is offline Writer
radiogagger

Location: FM and DAB.
Registered: 29 Dec 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 20 Nov 12 23:03 - Edited By: radiogagger, 20 Nov 12 23:14
I was a steward at the Peter Shilton match. You probably saw me touching up Helen Chamberlain (Torquay fan) during the half-time break. I forgot to remind her of this when I was on Soccer AM a few years ago.

Clive's activities were spotted on CCTV noted by Barry 'Earn. A note was passed to the Krays and a visit will be made to the Coal Hole on the 15th

Another shock win for the O's tonight (3-2) to follow the 4-1 win at Carlisle (supported by Erskin) on saturday. Can I request any Spoof writers who support Preston to make themselves known before saturday please.

That's four wins in four, including three in a week away from home, nice for my loony tune mates who have traveled 1,300+ to see the mighty o's in seven days.

Beckham returning to East London to pull on the hallowed shirt on January 1st will be the icing on the cake.

R'DOG

'How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything'
T Harv Eker
radiogagger
This user is offline Writer
radiogagger

Location: FM and DAB.
Registered: 29 Dec 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 20 Nov 12 23:06 - Edited By: radiogagger, 20 Nov 12 23:31

Quote: Skoob1999

I remember you Mockney tossers all bottled it and stayed at home when you played United at OT.

ICF my arse.

Mind you, I feel a bit silly typing that, given that I was always too short to ever be classed as a credible hooligan, and that United got beat tonight.

So I think I'll shut up and bugger off to bed.

Before somebody exposes me for the idiot I truly am.

*Hangs head in shame, lights pipe and giggles*

Skoob.


There is no such thing as a Mockney Leyton Orient fan.
No connection between ICF and Orient either. There are only a handful of O's fans who like to think their a bit tasty - and thats too many.

If its any consolation I was at Old Tarfford with 3,000 Besiktas fans in 2009 when Gabriel Obertan proved beyond all doubt that he wasn't the new Cristano Ronaldo.

Great result for Galatasaray tonight against United reserves. Hope they can qualify now after bad start to group. I was at the Besiktas v Liverpol game in Istanbul 2008 and that was AWESOME.

To add the cherry on the cake for tonight, their was a kid in an Orient shirt on Holby City tonight (I'm told) and he wasn't even in hospital after a tanking from a Millwall hooligan.

'How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything'
T Harv Eker
radiogagger
This user is offline Writer
radiogagger

Location: FM and DAB.
Registered: 29 Dec 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 20 Nov 12 23:10

Quote: Simon Saunders

I remember seeing the legendary former Leicester goalkeeper Peter Shilton making his 1000th league appearance for Leyton Orient.

A remarkable achievement by Shilton.

Also a remarkable achievement by the Orient groundsman in repairing the goal mouth after Shilton's wheelchair had shredded the six yard box like a madman on a tractor.

Simon


Probably Hearns biggest publicity stunt as O's chairman.
Mind you, Shilton was sacked two matches later by manager Tommy Taylor because 'he couldn't kick the ball'.

'How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything'
T Harv Eker
Simon Saunders
This user is offline Writer
Simon Saunders

Location: The Republic of Ninnies.
Registered: 22 Feb 12

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 21 Nov 12 00:00
R'Dog,

Never mind 'Shilts' not being able to kick the ball. He was so old he could barely see the bleedin' thing.

Simon

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 21 Nov 12 06:22 - Edited By: Clive Danton, 21 Nov 12 06:25
Always had a soft spot for The "O"s even though they hate us, but that's ok. I used to go down to watch em from time to time when The Irons were at Old Trafford and The Firm were too shit scared to come out of their slums.

I remember going with me grandad and paying something daft like 2/6d to watch em turn over Crewe Alexandra 3-0. Trouble was the old boy was so bladdered he was convinced they'd lost and even slagged em off to me nan when we got home hehehe.

Lovely friendly little club, nice family atmosphere at Brisbane Road and the Bovril's to die for. Love em

PS It'll always be Brisbane Road to me btw. Matchroom Stadium my claret and blue arse

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 21 Nov 12 16:52
Just been looking up a few stats for Leyton Orient on Wiki (as one does) and the highest transfer fee they've shelled out is £170k for some bloke from Wigan in 1989. In a world where somebody like Carlos Tevez shoves that sort of wedge in the fruity down the boozer every night there's something rather beautiful about that.

As an interesting, or not as the case may be, footnote, their biggest win was 8-0 against Palace (my old woman's lot hehehe) in 1955 and their heaviest defeat was by the same margin against Villa in the FA Cup 3rd round in 1929. I love synchronicity in me footie stats dont you?



THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 21 Nov 12 18:59 - Edited By: armfeetandtoe, 21 Nov 12 18:59
Oh my god! Me mate Clive has got an anorak! Bastards, they must have put it on him when he was asleep. I better get over there in case he starts on about the average time a footballer spends in the shower.


*Leaps into prat mobile and roars off*


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 21 Nov 12 19:25 - Edited By: Clive Danton, 21 Nov 12 19:26
Average time a premier league footie ace spends in the shower is 9.45mins 34secs according to the available statistics.

Of course this figure goes up considerably in the case of the team bummer.

I hope this helps.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 21 Nov 12 19:29
"Im on me way mate! dont start reading the Guinness book of records! stay away from the light!!!!!






Arm xxxxxxxxxxxx (At 100mph)

You aint seen me.....right
Ellis Ian Fields
This user is offline Writer
Ellis Ian Fields

Location: Dunno - it's so very dark
Registered: 9 Dec 09

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 22 Nov 12 08:36
Sorry to come to this late...

We're just crap. End of. Bunch of loanees, employed by the week...

It's a crying bloody shame what the bastards have done to Pompey.

Oh - well done, Orient.

No-one speaks English and everything's broken.
Erskin Quint
This user is offline Writer
Erskin Quint

Registered: 15 Oct 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 29 Nov 12 23:36
Ah. The "4-1 win". Hmmm. Congratulations on your experience of our kamikaze defensive approach.

"Here, have a scabby goal. Oh, and while you're about it, do have another soft goal. I tell you what, why not help yourselves to a third shocking goal. And finally, to top off a truly appalling first half, why not have a fourth insult to the very notion of competitive sport? There now, isn't that nice?"


Quote: radiogagger

I was a steward at the Peter Shilton match. You probably saw me touching up Helen Chamberlain (Torquay fan) during the half-time break. I forgot to remind her of this when I was on Soccer AM a few years ago.

Clive's activities were spotted on CCTV noted by Barry 'Earn. A note was passed to the Krays and a visit will be made to the Coal Hole on the 15th

Another shock win for the O's tonight (3-2) to follow the 4-1 win at Carlisle (supported by Erskin) on saturday. Can I request any Spoof writers who support Preston to make themselves known before saturday please.

That's four wins in four, including three in a week away from home, nice for my loony tune mates who have traveled 1,300+ to see the mighty o's in seven days.

Beckham returning to East London to pull on the hallowed shirt on January 1st will be the icing on the cake.

R'DOG


SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL
Skoob1999
This user is offline Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 30 Nov 12 03:49
I don't want to hear this!

Do you hear me?

You don't?

Ah well...

*Adjusts iPod volume and ignores abuse.*



RIP

 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum

Who is online?

There are 2 registered users currently online: 2 are active , none are currently inactive .

Users online:


Profile Featured Writer

Vondrook
Vondrook
Joined: 17 March 2009
Stories Written: 50

Go to top