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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 16:05
Purely on a whim I purchased a jar of Bovril today and have just finished guzzling the beef-based beverage from my big blue metal mug, which holds a full imperial pint incidentally, and found it an extremely pleasurable and deeply satisfying experience.

I am now going to look up the origin and history of Bovril through the ages and I dont care who knows it do you hear me??

Then I'm going to drink yet another mugful of the restorative and wholesome beverage before planning an expedition to scale the north face of The Eiger so I can produce a flask of Bovril when I reach the summit and do a small piece to camera pretending to be Sir Chris Bonnington who once did an ad for Bovril after scaling Everest when he proclaimed "How that beefy taste warmed us!"

Oh yes.



Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 16:25
And while I'm about it I'll tell you another thing about Bovril shall I?

If Churchmouse asked his exotic missus who's far to good for him to bring him a mug of steaming, nutritious Bovril she'd bring it in a solid gold mug on a diamond encrusted tray and say:

"ere eez your Bovril Churchmouse. Be careful with eet as eet ees very 'ot my dalinks"

and he would say

"Thanks exotic missus who's far too good for me. Can I have a biscuit with it please love?"

and she would reply...

"Get your own beecuits you lazee Eenglish bleeder. I am far too exotic to do thees type of theeng"

Oh yes.

Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 16:36
What a lovely picture young Mr Danton has given us. Him sitting in his chair sipping piping hot Bovril. Feet up on the table, per chance a bit of buttered bread to dip?.....

When he should be underneath a Morris Minor doing an oil change the lazy git! Its no wonder this country is going to the dogs! How would it be if Her Majesty, (God Bless Her) sat around drinking great metal mugs of Bovril?!

Angry Of Mayfair
Mayfair
London

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 16:45
It may interest Mr Of-Mayfair to know that The Queen neither eats nor drinks as this would inevitably result in her going to the toilet which is quite clearly unthinkable so she has a number of "Food And Drink Wallahs" to do it on her behalf.

Absolutely kosher that is. Geezer down the pub told me.

Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
Francois Dubois, S.J.
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Francois Dubois, S.J.

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 17:33
You have Borvil. We have Cheerwine!

"And the lowly dogs licked Gaztopimus clean as he slept."
From the Lost Gospels of the SSHites: Chapter 6, verse 48
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 21:33
I was gonna make a cheap joke about beef curtains but I can't think of one.

I like bovril though. Reminds me of going to the footy when I was a kid. That and being gobbed on by Forest fans.

Oh deary me.

Simon.

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 21:45
They used to water Bovril down you know.








Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 22:09
I'd of preferred it if they'd watered down the gob. Used to take ages to scrape it out of me hair.

Simon

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 23:26
Simon, me old china, you are one of the funniest people on this planet. I love your humour.


Sincerely


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 16 Nov 12 23:57
Not sure about that Arm.

Thanks for the compliment though (Unless you're taking the piss!) I choked on me bovril while reading it.

Simon

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 19 Nov 12 18:54
^^^^^^^ beef drink guzzling, Aylesbury Under 90s Male Prostitute Of The Year with bad back there.

Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 19 Nov 12 23:46

Quote: Clive Danton

^^^^^^^ beef drink guzzling, Aylesbury Under 90s Male Prostitute Of The Year with bad back there.


Clive, Clive, O Clive.

It was Ayisham not Aylesbury.

I bet you feel silly now, don't ya?

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 22 Nov 12 17:33
Yes. Yes I do.

Now then, I've not had any Bovril today but don't let that fool you as I still have plenty left in the jar and fully intend to finish it by the time I next have to go to Lidl.

In fact I may have a warming mug of the beefy beverage before I turn in for the night instead of my customary Ovaltine.

I'm a maverick at the end of the day you see my friends. Routine and and toeing the line is anathema to me. I just dont care at the end of the day to be honest with you. I'm quite prepared to fly directly in the face of convention and substitute a comforting malted milk drink for a nourishing beefy one and I dont care who knows it!

I mean to say if you'd offered Chris Bonnington a mug of Horlicks as he stood proudly alongside the fluttering Union Flag atop The Matterhorn you can bet your life he'd have told you to "Fuck off out of it and bring us me Bovril"

Oh YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 22 Nov 12 19:55
When I was stood on the summit of Portdown Hill by the kebab van run by Ali Bullo, neath a fluttering Union Jack, as I waited for a chicken shish with the works, I just nipped straight back ito the pub for a pint and a bag of pork scratchings. Because it was cold and windy.

I don't know what the fuck I'm on about here - sleep deprivation - carry on...

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 22 Nov 12 21:51
Yes, it is ein classic case of zer forgotten forgetness.
Most common in der slathering season in der Strand.
Take fourteen shots of zer Vermouth mit der Bovril.

Come zee me some time.


Dr Heinz Means
Park Royal
Dat London.

You aint seen me.....right

 
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