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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 6 Nov 12 13:01
Who do they have as sub editor these days, the North Korean cultural attache?

Two perfectly innocuous and hopefully amusing comments made by moi in the last two days, completely profanity free I might add.....(no really!) neither of which saw that the light of cyber day for some unfathomable reason.

One was lampooning the cast of Geordie Shore, and let's be brutally honest here, no bunch of fake tanned fuckwits deserve it more, and the other one was ripping the piss out of Justin Bieber, an act for which nothing less than 200 quid from the public purse would suffice as a reward.

Conversely I made a rather off colour remark about Jimmy Savile and The Yorkshire Ripper which was deemed to be just the ticket and earned me a number of "likes" from deeply impressed fellow contributors.

Funny old world aint it folks?

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Francois Dubois, S.J.
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Francois Dubois, S.J.

Location: Convent of the Queer, WV
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Posted: 6 Nov 12 13:35
I've had the same thing happen to me on the Huff, Clivey.

My remarks about the asswipe senate candidate in Washington state who said, and I quote, "When a woman gets pregnant after the rape thing, it is a gift from God, and becoming pregnant after incest is such a rare thing, because incest is such a rare thing," I got scores of likes.

When I said honey Boo Boo was obese and being abused by her stage mother who is allowing and promoting her weight gain, I got nothing.

"And the lowly dogs licked Gaztopimus clean as he slept."
From the Lost Gospels of the SSHites: Chapter 6, verse 48
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
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Posted: 6 Nov 12 13:42
"Are you standing to attention cheps? Good.

Now listen men, it seems you boys have gone goose over stump with those johnny's from editing. Tommkins has sent a letter and the whole thing is being brushed under the Wilton, get yourselves down to stores and draw a couple of new pens and get writing. Is that clear? dismissed. Oh and remember, careless swearing costs pies".


Colonel Bic
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Ely
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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 6 Nov 12 15:35 - Edited By: Clive Danton, 6 Nov 12 15:36
Frankie it is my surmise that there are just two sub-eds on The Huff.

One is a jovial, avuncular fat guy who looks like John Candy and happily passes any shit we people care to write.

The other is a dried up old widder woman with a pince nez on the end of her nose and a fanny so tight she squeaks when she gets up to fetch The Gideon Bible from the sideboard.

I always seem to end up with Miss Faversham hehehe.

PS Fanny in England is different to fanny in the US btw. Over here it's on the other side.

PPS It's heartening to see old Arm is worried about my parlous position in the writer's chart also. Yesterday I was 14th. Today I'm languishing so far down I can feel old Diablo prodding his red hot fork in mah perdy ass

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 Nov 12 05:24
Interesting Lady

Might have a toddle down to see her work at some point folks

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 Nov 12 13:05
Hehehehe


Check out the name of the Chief Exec of The Mother's Union in this piece.

Look carefully and you'll see my comment which will obviously come as an added bonus and rare treat for you.

You scum!

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
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Posted: 17 Nov 12 21:27
Scum eh? Well let me tell you, Mr Danton, my family have been in sewers for six generations and we are proud of our Scummanship. My Great great great great great Grandfather scumed for royalty and he witnessed the Queen drinking a huge metal mug of Bovril while addressing the population on Christmas day. Nothing wrong with Scum, as long as you have a decent hole in the ground to live in.


Mr Poopong McJock
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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 19 Nov 12 18:40
^^^^^^^^^ Nasty piece of work whose vitriolic attacks on moi and others has led to him being dubbed persona non grata at every drinker in the land, especially The Coal Hole.

Now then I've just tried to spam up The Huff with my latest spoof "London Kebab Shop Destroyed In Israeli Airstrike On Hummus" but they weren't having any and told me to fuck off and take my anti zionist diatribes with me.

I felt miserable



PS The piece hasnt gone live yet so dont get all excited. It's had 5 viewings but has been held up by a Mossad secret agent and Armfeetandtoe who hates me and wants me dead.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 20 Nov 12 13:53
*Telephone rings in an office*

"Hello Mossad, can I help you?"

"Arm here, I have found that Clive Danton bloke"

"Good, we have a missle with his name on it"

"He is in West Ham"

"Oye vey! enough with the Ham already"

"Thats where he is!"

"This is going to be difficult"

"Why?"

"Ever said the word "Ham" to an orthadox Jewish Spy?"

*Click Bbbrrrrrrrrr*


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Aspartame Boy
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Aspartame Boy

Location: in your tea
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Posted: 26 Nov 12 02:55
The Spoofers are the modern equivalent of Hitler's Jews. Google has shunned us.

Soon, we will be confined to ghettos.

Then, the final solution.

How depressing.

Life cycle of aspartame:
man makes aspartame;man eats aspartame
man dies;man sees that aspartame makes good softkill weapon
man makes more aspartame; population still too high.. repeat
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 26 Nov 12 04:57
I must confess that on occasion it's about as much fun in here as a night around the mouth organ in The Warsaw Ghetto, so I do see where you're coming from on this one AB.

Huff Post headlinr this morning:

"Woman Held After Riding Ocean Manatee".

The mind boggles..................

Well mine does anyway folks

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 26 Nov 12 06:54
I've just realised that in over 20 zillion posts to The Huff I have only been serious once and that was in reply to a blog when I spoke out vehemently against women's boxing only to be given a savage beasting by some butch tart with a gumshield.

Do I win 5 hard rounds of grueling punishment before stopping my missus on cuts?

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM

 
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