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I'm preparing the kitchen walls for plastering. I intend to give them a skim tomorrow. So there I am, working away, scraping and washing, when the mobile rings.

It's her indoors. "What are you doing"?

"Preparing the kitchen walls my darling"

"Have you done the housework"?

"I'm in the kitchen preparing the walls".

"So you have NOT done the housework"

"I started at nine this morning, it is now three pm".

"I hope I do not come home to a dirty house"

"No my peach"

"Get on with it then, Love you".

"Love you too".

What a woman, works fourteen hours a day and is a dictator.
I'm contacting the Union, there must be a law agianst it.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She is the union rep for my sisters, the Trolls, and skoob's wife as well, arm xxxxxx.

You leave my missus out of this, you cad. She's good to me. Too good in fact. So good that she's got me typing this with a loaded gun aimed at my head.

I have to laugh...because she's a really crap shot.

BLAM!

*THUD*

Mrs Arm was in the SAS so no point in setting traps or trying to hide from her. She blends in well with the Triffids in the garden. Steady the Buffs Skoob!

Frankie, her indoors has just spoken to her mate in the FBI, you may get a visit.


Arm *Hiding under the duvet* xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ARM:

MI6 has a Witness Protection Program that will relocate you to Saudi Arabia. However, you must blend in with the local population!


PoM

POM, can you get me the address. If the kitchen is not finished by Sunday, I will need protection, believe me.



Arm xxxxxxxxxx

ARM:

British Embassy
PO Box 94351
Riyadh 11693
Saudi Arabia



Phone:+966 (0) 1 488 0077

Ask for HM Ambassador Sir John Jenkins KCMG LVO.


PoM

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Quote: armfeetandtoe

POM, can you get me the address. If the kitchen is not finished by Sunday, I will need protection, believe me.



Arm xxxxxxxxxx

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Thank you, Keep your head down, if she finds out you have been helping me escape, the Devil and all his minions proding you up the jacksy with thier tridents, will be nothing compared to what she will do to your person.

Just make out you are the Avon lady.

Best regards

Arm *Hiding under the bed* xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ARM:

I'll disguise myself as The Queen, then what will she do?

PoM

Demand you give her back the license to kill!


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ARM:

Thanks for lots of laughs tonight.

PoM

Your laughing! For gods sake dont let her see you smile!!!



Love Light and fear

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx