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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 07:30
Now then my good fiends (sp)?.....I began thinking the other day, no really!, about which of the great comic super heroes was the hardest (steady!) and which one of their mighty superhuman powers I should most like to possess.

After much head scratching and Marvel/DC comic perusal I eventually decided on Superman's heat vision advantage, for the simple reason I could save on my quite frankly ludicrous central heating bill by just having a quick look around the room. I could also burn off all the bastard weeds down my allotment, light my gaspers just by looking at em and perhaps most satisfying of all reduce Ellis to a pair of smoking boots whenever he tried to bum me, which is most of the time to be brutally honest because he's a complete and utter bummer!

Next!

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 07:41 - Edited By: Clive Danton, 17 Sep 12 07:42
I should also quite like to be The Incredible Hulk so I can go bounding around the Arizona Desert with the US Milly-Tairy in hot pursuit and then when they fired an atom bomb at me I could let it explode on my chest and then bellow "HIM HURT HULK!" before grabbing a helicopter out of the sky with a meaty green mitt and crushing it into scrap metal. Christ yes!!!!

Funnily enough I was telling a rather beautiful girl that I'd like to be The Hulk the other day and she looked at me rather quizzically and said "I wonder why his trousers just rip at the bottom and get a bit shorter instead of splitting open completely when he changes into The Hulk"

They're like rutting wild animals at the end of the day aren't they chaps? RUTTING WILD ANIMALS!!!! *expels series
of hot air blasts through flared nostrils*

PS There's a crisp fiver and 5 bonus points including a PHLAP Of The Week certificate to the first rather tragic wretch that can tell me from which rather good sitcom the thread title came from. We live in exciting times dont we folks?

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IainB
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IainB

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 10:45 - Edited By: IainB, 17 Sep 12 10:46
I'll be Super Girl. The Clark Kent for my Super Girl is awesome...nobody can guess. Except I've told you.

I'd put the pictures up, but somebody, somewhere, will be eating their lunch.

Debbie

P.S. Rise and Fall of Reggie Perrin

If 42 is the answer, the question is if 24 looks in the mirror, who does she see?
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 12:24
The double 5 and the title of PHLAP of the week to the young lady who got dressed in the dark this morning and put her drawers on over her tights!

Don't be too hard on yerself love, we've all done it

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IainB
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IainB

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 13:20
It's leaving your skirt tucked into your knickers as you leave the ladies room that's embarrassing, Clive. I did try to warn you, but would you listen? No. Typical.

Oh...was I not supposed to tell anybody that you came on Saturday? My bad. Sorry.

Debbie

If 42 is the answer, the question is if 24 looks in the mirror, who does she see?
Sidney Bollocks
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Sidney Bollocks

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 13:30



I seem to recall that catchphrase featuring in Bottom.




Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 15:02
Debbie, the only wardrobe malfunction I suffered on Satdee nite was staggering up to bed and trying to take me pants off over me head. *wipes small tear from corner of eye at memory*

Sid, considering the amount of "magic puff" you've got through since Bottom was last screened on the telly I'm surprised you can recall the name of the bloody country you live in mate!..........It's Australia btw *fume*

Now get out the pair of yers!!

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Jaggedone
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Jaggedone

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 18:00
I am nominating Mr.Clive Danton for this years Nobel prize for literature due to his outstanding work in preventing the ancient language of "Cock-knee" from becoming extinct. It was last heard in the Chicken Run at Upton Park as Millwall fans attempted to storm Le Bastille and were beaten back by Cromwellian Roundheads blowing bubbles; Arise Sir Clive!

Monkey nutter...
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 19:08
I'd like to be Super Gran. Remember her? She had a flying bike and a magic ray machine y'know.

I know she's not a Marvel/DC creation but I loved her.

Simon

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 19:18
Funny you should say that JoJo as I once got my head kicked in by Ray Winstone and Danny Dyer in the bogs at Upton Park during halftime for being "common as pig shit". They were cruel nancy boy actors......but fair.

Now then. Because of your legendary hot temper and the way you're always having up and a downers with the punters on here I'm going to nominate you for the role of The Human Torch mate.

"FLAME WAR......ON!" hehehehe

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 19:19

Quote: Simon Saunders

I'd like to be Super Gran. Remember her? She had a flying bike and a magic ray machine y'know.

I know she's not a Marvel/DC creation but I loved her.

Simon


I worry about you sometimes Si, I really do old son. Tsk.

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Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 19:35

Quote: Clive Danton


Quote: Simon Saunders

I'd like to be Super Gran. Remember her? She had a flying bike and a magic ray machine y'know.

I know she's not a Marvel/DC creation but I loved her.

Simon


I worry about you sometimes Si, I really do old son. Tsk.


Funny you say that Clive, but my doctor often makes the same comment.

To be honest I was going to say Bananaman but I went off him because me old man used to deliver his mail and every morning me dad would slip on a recklessly discarded banana skin outside his house while going about his business. Did his back right in. Poor sod.

Simon

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armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 17 Sep 12 19:45
"Titter ye not! Ooh no, please, it's wicked to mock the afflicted! Well it might be one of your own! Please yourselves...listen..no..misses...superhero I am...yes!..little Francis....a genuine.....cult...the biggest one round here anyway....ooh...your wicked you are!

One of my all time comedy heroes. The late Frankie Howard.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right

 
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