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Forum Home / General Discussion / Getting Right To The Arse Of The Matter.


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Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

Location: Krung Thep
Registered: 29 Dec 06

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Posted: 11 Sep 12 11:52 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 11 Sep 12 11:56

Quote: IainB

Arse to Arse....I used to watch that.

It was rubbish.




It's only my opinion, but I think we should draw the line at phonetic similarities, Debbie.

That is, if I am correct, and you are referring to the Robert Wagner/Stefanie Powers gubbins...


Someone may have already mentioned this song in the preceding posts - I can't really be bothered to check - but I had a distinct fondness for the brilliant 1979-released Blondie single Arse of Glass, which went to number one in several countries.

To have ambitions, was my ambition
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

Location: London
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Posted: 11 Sep 12 12:17

Quote: Tommy Twinkle

Don't Go Breakin' My Arse - Elton John


Ah that's better Tommy boy!

No hard feelings from me towards a fellow East End geezer. Arse of gold I've got mate.

BLAM!

Hey that's anuvver one!......

Arse Of Gold - Neil Young.

Lovely job

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Maria Rios
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Maria Rios

Registered: 11 Apr 12

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Posted: 11 Sep 12 12:27
I was giggling away to some of these quotes with 'Heart' in them.

Heart Quotes

For example:

"Be still my ARSE; thou hast known worse than this."

This is a one off Mr Dee since you've been so kind as to add so many posts to my poor thread. You never did say what my forfeit was if I lose?



churchmouse
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churchmouse

Location: France
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Posted: 11 Sep 12 13:45

*Reins-in horse, tips stetson onto back of head and gently fondles six-shooter*

Alright there little lady. This here heart/arse thread is gittin a might wearysome hog-dammit. *spits onto floor*

Me an' the boys down at Gulch Valley were-a-talking, an' it seems like most of them-there heart songs are as exhausted as a rattlesnake in a musical arse/heart competition. So with this in mind Old six-pack Pete and his Injin guide suggested that we kinda change the 'heart' word for the word 'Love' which gets us a whole new level of arse songs. Yes siree Bob.

Not only that, but it gives us old-timers a chance to think up songs before them-there young whippersnappers 'n cow-pokes git the draw on us.


Alrighty there, let's start:

Arse on a mountain top
Arse me do
Arse grows where my Rosemary goes
All you need is Arse
Arse me tender
Arse is a many splendid thing



YE-HA! *Strikes match on horse's rump, lights Marlboro and gallops off into the sunset coughing*






And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
Jaggedone
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Jaggedone

Location: Back under the bridge!
Registered: 8 Apr 09

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Posted: 11 Sep 12 14:56
Arse-ne Wenger has his head up his Arse-nal arse!


Monkey nutter...
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 11 Sep 12 14:59

Quote: Maria Rios

I was giggling away to some of these quotes with 'Heart' in them.

Heart Quotes

For example:

"Be still my ARSE; thou hast known worse than this."

This is a one off Mr Dee since you've been so kind as to add so many posts to my poor thread. You never did say what my forfeit was if I lose?


Forfeit Dollface? To be fair I aint come up with one as yet but when I do it's gonna be real slow and real painful.

A bit like The Chinese Water Torture, listening to one of Skoob's jokes or getting old Wild Bill Churchmouse up there to fill in a truthful tax return.

Oh yes

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
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Posted: 11 Sep 12 16:04
By the bloody cringe! I pop over to dunkbikky for a bit and this is what happens!

HUZZAH MY ARSE!

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Ellie James
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Ellie James

Location: Texas
Registered: 8 Apr 11

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Posted: 11 Sep 12 16:30
oops....sorry Clive. I didn't read the heart part. Rather I did....but I teach kindergarten all day long and so my brain in mush when I log in at night!

Ellie..

Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 11 Sep 12 16:56
Don't worry about it - my brain's in a mush all the time.

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 11 Sep 12 17:15

Quote: Ellie James

oops....sorry Clive. I didn't read the heart part. Rather I did....but I teach kindergarten all day long and so my brain in mush when I log in at night!

Ellie..


Don't sweat it Ellie. Your arse is in the right place. At least your contribution may have staved off my own personal tutu hell and I thank you from the bottom of my arse.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
CaptainSausage
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Posted: 11 Sep 12 21:21 - Edited By: CaptainSausage, 11 Sep 12 21:22
Who would have thought there were so many arse-songs out there:

Groove is in the arse - Deelite, being medically accurate

Unchain my arse - Joe Cocker

My arse goes boom - some Eurovision crap

And my favourite:
Something's gotten hold of my arse - Gene Pitney

Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 11 Sep 12 23:48
A woman's arse.

Mary Black and Eleanor McEvoy




The chorus:

My arse is low, My arse is so low As only a woman's arse can be.
As only a woman, as only a woman's, As only a woman's arse can know.




You want me as a moderator!
You need me as a moderator!!!
Tommy Twinkle
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Posted: 12 Sep 12 00:40
(There Must Be An Angel) Playing With My Arse - Eurythmics
Thunder In My Arse - Leo Sayer
Deep In The Arse Of Texas (Perry Como)

and by the multi-talented Liberace,

(All Of A Sudden) My Arse Sings.

Ellie James
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Ellie James

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Posted: 12 Sep 12 01:41
For all of you who don't know, the arse of Texas is actually in Beaumont.

Ellie

Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
Jean Le Fete
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Jean Le Fete

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Posted: 12 Sep 12 03:49
Geeze, I leave for a few days and come back to a conversation about Ellie's arse. I must go away more often lol!

It's not that I can't help these people it's just, I don't want to. - Tom Hanks - Volunteers
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 12 Sep 12 04:54
The correct spelling of that ejaculation (steady now!) JLF is "JEEZ!".

I know this because I'm told that the soppy bint in 50 Shades Of Grey" bawls it out in the throes of orgasm every time her two bob wanker of a posh boyfriend so much as lights a gasper ffs!

If I was him I'd go on the nicotine patches and tell her to get on with the f******g washing up.

Thanks for the contribution though mate as every one registered helps ward off the prospect of tutu terror pour moi

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 2 Oct 12 12:21
Gotta find a way to get into your arse - Big Funk Corporation.

Get back Ellis!!!...............GET BACK I SAY SIRRAH!

Christ!



THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Simon Saunders
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Simon Saunders

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Posted: 2 Oct 12 16:59
Bleeding Arse - Jimi Hendrix.

Just seen it on the telly box.

Currently discussing possible legal action with his lawyer after not winning the writing compo

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