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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Registered: 29 Nov 11

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Posted: 6 Jun 12 17:51
Hi Guyz! Only me again........you remember........Cliveypopz. You must remember me! I'm such a great laugh and have lotz and lotz of luvlee FB frendz who think the absolute world of me and wouldn't dream of cunting me off mercilessly behind my back. Christ no! In fact soon we're all going to meet up for drinkz in a big park in London. Therez going to be lotz and lotz of my bestest FB chumz there and we're going to give each other some really big (((((((HUGZZZZZZ))))))) and XOXOXOXO kisses because we all wuff each other SOOOOOOOO much and of course totally give a flying fuck about whether or not half of uz are dead before Christmazzz..

I wudge having SOOOOOOO many luvlee frendz becos they make me so happy and are always there whenever I completely loose the fucking plot and show myself up like shit on my status by ranting on about "sum peeple need to take a gud look at themselvezzzz" and generally acting the giddy arseole.

Yezzzzzz they make me happy happy happy!!!!! In fact what with all my thousands of virtual frendz, none of whom are convicted nonces or paedophiles, oh dear me no, and my totally exciting social life, I mean to say I'm never home these days and it's such a fabby larf, I must be the happiest perzon in the whole wide world!

HAPPY.......HAPPY......HAPPY......happy........happy......hap.........BLAM!................thud.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Colonel Juan
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Colonel Juan

Location: C/O Juanita Juan
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Posted: 6 Jun 12 18:15



Evening Maggot..

Don't I just love Facebook.

Last time I had a look, I'd gathered up 2.73948 million friends. Brilliant! Except I still have to watch me fucking back lest some arsehole of a cunt sticks a knife in? And the world's full of cunts. As I now know..

So I'm now updating my Facebook 'Best Mates' status and wiping at least 2.73900 off the list..

Leaving you and and a few similar dickheads to fight at the bar over the remains of the measly budget the wife allows for all my corporate entertainment..

PS: Re later on tonight: Is it worthwhile me practising the old 4-finger wank?

Does it really slow things down?

Just askin..

Anyway..

BE HAPPY - BE HAPPY - BE HAPPY -BE SOOOOO HAPPY -

Luv

Edna



RIP
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 6 Jun 12 18:59
Slow it down? Blimey I'm not sure mate. The old woman's got one of those hands on a spring and she takes care of business while she's watching Heartbeat on ITV3.

HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

XXXXXX and a XXXXXX and a XXXXXXX and a XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 05:45
Status Update

Breathing in

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 05:46
Status Update

Breathing out

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 05:48
Status Update

And relaxing.

LOOOODLYODDLYWOBBLYLULLZYWULLZYWIDDLEYWUDDLEWOO!

((((((It's SOOOOOOO fabby here!)))))))



THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Katarina Frogpond2
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Katarina Frogpond2

Registered: 5 Oct 09

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 21:30
My Name is Katarina Frogpond. You'll know you've found me when you see the giant paris snail expedition photos that are really sketches done with marker pens. But they've got a very real message. Don't eat frog, they're people too.


Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 8 Jun 12 08:33 - Edited By: Clive Danton, 8 Jun 12 09:11
FROGEEEE! FROGGLY OGGGLY OOOOOOO! XOXOXOXOX MWAAAAAAH!

Where u bin hunsy wunzy woo? Of all my millionz of fabby FB frendz you is the bezzy 1 !!!!! MWAHZYKINS!

I hope u been having lotz of fabby fun and eating lotz and lotz of really scrummy caksez and bizcuits. Mmmmmmmm Yummy!

Becoz FB iz my fave thing in the whole wide world I've bought lotz of sharez in the cumpany so I can be like that yummy Mark Zzzzzzzuckerberg who haz made my life SOOOOOOO happy happy happy!

I'm going to have a cheeky little look in the Finanshul Timez to see how my sharez are progrezzing now.

*rustle... rustle... turn...turn... read.... read*..............BLAM!.......thud

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 22 Jun 12 07:41
CUDDLYWUDDLYWIDDLYDIDDLYHUGZZEEWUGZEEEWOOOOOOOOO!

Hi Guyz and girlypopzzz and all my fabby FB frendzy wendzy woos out there who wuff me SOOOOOOOOOOO much and who never murder people with axes or interfere with children after pretending to be 10.

I'm afraid I've been temporarily banned from FB because I wasn't gushing or brain dead enough in my reply when a slathering sex case from Dar Es Salaam told me in hiz statuz that he wuz coming over to Ingland and wanted to give me lotz and lotz of luvlee wuvlee snugglez.

But I'm not worried as I know that the luvlee wuvvlykins Mr Zzzzzuckerberg will soon reinstate me so I can wudge and kizz all my billions of frendzypops

Now then what shall I do while I wait? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

BLAM!.......thud

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Katarina Frogpond2
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Katarina Frogpond2

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Posted: 24 Jun 12 11:19
Ha Ha. Hello. You're my favourite, but so is everyone else. I've got 50 favourites. I'll have to update my facebook site because I haven't been there for a long time. I drop in every so often.

But the only reason I go onto facebook nowadays is to play Triviador. It makes me feel like I'm changing the world.

Maria Rios
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Maria Rios

Registered: 11 Apr 12

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Posted: 24 Jun 12 12:53
Breaking the FB status code:

Am reet p****d off!

Translation: Someone please ask me what's up, so I can slag off one of my FB 'friends' to the world.

I luv my family soooooo much!!

Translation: I'm a crap mum, I spend all day on here talking crap, but want you to all think I'm a great parent.

Maria Rios
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Maria Rios

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Posted: 24 Jun 12 14:38
Confession......I've been FB clean for over a year now, but at times it made me wish I were an unscrupulous villain. The amount of people that use to post where they were every second of every day, was ridiculous.

Ellie James
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Ellie James

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Posted: 24 Jun 12 15:49
Checking into Deep Shit Cattle Co.

Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 24 Jun 12 16:46 - Edited By: Clive Danton, 24 Jun 12 16:47
Woz u udating ur statuzzzz boss?

If so ur banned for lack of LOLZ, LULZ, WUFF OOs and of course for failing miserably to gush like a St Paul's Square fountain about how happy wappy clappy clappy you are and how lucky to have so many totally bril and almost insanely loyal "bezzy frendzz" to rely on when the going gets a little torrid before climbing onto a chair with a hemp rope and a note pinned to your shoe.

Now get out!

((((((((((((HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZ))))))))))))

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Ellie James
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Ellie James

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Posted: 24 Jun 12 17:33
Clive - Only teenagers talk like that!

That's a real ranch...I drove by it on the way back from MD Anderson. It was the only thing aside from a few emails that made me laugh in 3 days.

Confession: I use facebook. I use it to post pics of my daughter because I was tired of sending the same pictures to 50 different family members.

NONE of my friends post the way you do!

Who, aside from 14-20 year old girls (and Clive), talk like that?

Ellie

Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 5 Jul 12 19:45
KEWL!!! CAN WE TELL JOKEZ AND STUFF? I LIKE BALANCING GRAPES ON TINY PIECES OF CHEESE!!! WIV ROKKET AN SPUD PEEL ON THE SIDE!!!! IN A NICE BECHAMEL!!!!

LOL LOL LOL

HUGZ

Martin Shuttlecock (Grape Balancer and Crap Comedian)

RIP
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 5 Sep 12 17:35
WIDDLYWODDLYWUDDLYCUDDLYWUVVYKINS!!!!!

Cliveypops here and I wudge everybody and want to eat lotz of scrummy cream cakes so I can tell everybody how lush and delish they are.

I changed my statuz today and it was so brill that I did a little bit of wee in my pantz.

I wuff you all and want you all to be my bestest Facebook frendz!..........except for Ellis who's a complete c**t.


(((((((HUGZZZZZZZ))))))))

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
IainB
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IainB

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Posted: 5 Sep 12 18:33
I've joined Facebook too! Rofl. The guy who used put his stuff in my wardrobe has a Facebook account, some of you are even friends with him, but he can bog off. Nothing but trouble he was. So I've got my own. lolz.

And you'll never find me. Muwahahaha. Wouldn't want that Clivey fellow gawking and ogling me.

Debbie

If 42 is the answer, the question is if 24 looks in the mirror, who does she see?

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