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Forum Home / General Discussion / A toast... Her Majesty..The Queen gawd bless her


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armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

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Posted: 2 Jun 12 22:00
Gawd bless yu Liz, all those donkeys ears on the frone an not one mention of yu pension or early retirement plan. I fink yu awt ta go to a bludy tribunal an ave it out wiv em, I mean, as yu majesty, yu entitled to it! jus cos you ave a few bob in the post office, dont mean yu got to go wivart.

Me an the misses can only afford the odd Aristotle of wallop an thats wot we will toast yu wiv. Sayin that, one of me chinas might ave a flaggon of gold watch or a pint of vera lynn. See, it cost a bit of bees an honey and most of em is brassic lint, been on the tom an dick for so long.

Still, here's to yu! gawd bless yu an the devil miss yu, see ya darn the rubadub one day. Lend us a lady godiva I might say, but not in a disrespectful way. Kushto Bak!

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Maria Rios
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Maria Rios

Registered: 11 Apr 12

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Posted: 2 Jun 12 23:21 - Edited By: Maria Rios, 10 Jun 12 05:13
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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 3 Jun 12 07:27
It's a little known fact that Queen Elizabeth II employs a flunky who acts as her "bowel wallah" at important functions so she doesn't upset honoured guests by getting up to have a pony and trap after she's finished her pudding and if you play Helter Skelter by The Beatles sideways whilst standing in a bowl of room temperature slather you will clearly make out the words "Bowel Wallah kindly do your duty. One needs to drop the kids off at the pool"

Absolutely kosher that is. Geezer down the pub told me that.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
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Posted: 3 Jun 12 08:39
My old Irish Auntie (God rest) used to say of the Queen:

"Look at her - parading about like she's still got one up her!"

True that.

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
queen mudder
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queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

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Posted: 3 Jun 12 11:08
Yeah, she's toast alright.

Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 3 Jun 12 11:22
"Oh, Darling!..Darling!....Those horrid working class cockanees have been writing all sorts of things on our new thread! Can you call the council and have them removed?"

"Sorry darling,they hev every right to speak about Her Majesty the Queen, although they are poor smellly and eat their children, our Queen is their Queen."

"Can you at least tell them orf?"

"Okay darling, Hey! you there! stop that writing about the Queen you bludy poor people, this is a high class thread purchased from Harrods, hev care, or we will sue"


Mr and Mrs Rear Admiral Hoypoloy
Greenwich

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Jaggedone
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Jaggedone

Location: Back under the bridge!
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Posted: 3 Jun 12 12:03
I want to break free!

Monkey nutter...
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 3 Jun 12 15:38
Troops! trooooppss..Shun! Right you lot, we ave a man wantin to break free..nar, we all knows wot that means...We aint avin no rock pop stars runnin ararnd the Queen singin songs wot Her Maj might start dancin to, she's an old girl an it wont do her any good!....So...find this croona, an bring him in....Troops! to your duties...Diiissssmiiisss!

"Lovely boys lovely boys.....Shoulders back.




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Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 3 Jun 12 18:44
Here in Iceland I am not a toady like Alan Titchmarselicker or Michael Parkinsycophant, but surely it is better than having a fool in charge.

You might have had President Thatcher or George Osborne ruling your roosts or Tony Blair with none to put a stop to their antic.

Also being a public servant is a guarantee of opprobrium but woe betide the day that the government of UK succeeds in abolishing the public services and you are buying your own tonsilectomies and burying your own rubbish and George Osborne is the Fuhrer.



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Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 3 Jun 12 18:46
You're starting to sound like Jaggedone EQ.

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 3 Jun 12 20:20
Gawd bless her, did yu eyeball all those boats floatin darn the fishermans daughter? Wot a sight for the old minces, proper Dunkirk spirit an all that. Dont know what them singers was all abart, should ave sung "Bring out the barra" instead of all that nobby opera crap. Didnt see the Pearly King or Queen, must of fallen off the boat, silly sods, suppose they was Brahms and Lidst by the time they got to Tower Bridge. All that food and not one jellied Eel to be seen, in London an all! Whats the world coming to? Us Londoners is dying out mate.

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Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 4 Jun 12 01:41 - Edited By: Erskin Quint, 4 Jun 12 02:21
Can you explain how, exactly?

Regards.


Quote: Skoob1999

You're starting to sound like Jaggedone EQ.

Regards

Skoob.


SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 4 Jun 12 05:14
What's all this shouting?!!!.....I'LL HAVE NO SLATHERING HERE!!!!!!

I sense a Skoob v Erskin frank exchange of views coming here folks. A veritable clash of the literary titans which I can only liken to mighty Saturn and the brooding warlike Oceanus clumping each other over the bonce with vellum bound copies of Roget's Thesaurus until the very heavens themselves shudder and resound with the thunder of their struggle.

Come on boys, you're both wonderful writers and thoroughly nice gentlemen whose hairstyles are a coiffured example to us all so I suggest you shake cyber paws, buy me and dear old arm a pint, as our mouths are like the bottom of a baby's pram today, and crack on with the amusing, benign, well intentioned banter that once made these forums the subject of Mark Zuckerberg's most frenzied acts of onanism.

Just sayin' like



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Jaggedone
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Jaggedone

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Posted: 4 Jun 12 07:25 - Edited By: Jaggedone, 4 Jun 12 07:26
I have never been to Iceland, but I do respect this "geyser" very much!

So if EQ is mentioned in the same volcanic breath I can only support that, thankyou Skoob for the compliment!

BTW: The price of skate is a load of old "cods-wollop"! Fishy goings-on on the ice





Quote: Skoob1999

You're starting to sound like Jaggedone EQ.

Regards

Skoob.


Monkey nutter...
Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 6 Jun 12 20:30




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armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 6 Jun 12 21:29
Ere, Sssshhhh, want one? No no no....dont look rarnd like that, your give the game away! Only a fiver for a cotchel, an I'm robbin the food from me own dustbin lids plate. Look....where yu gonna get that sort of quality for that sort of bees an honey? No..no....you can ave it on the never never, ten bob a week....That do yu?...lovely..If any of yu plates of meat want some....give us a wink.





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radiogagger
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radiogagger

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Posted: 6 Jun 12 21:32
Thank you Queen, for the music (or was that Abba) and giving it to one. Also, thanks for providing your loyal subjects with oodles and oodles of material over the years.
Particularly the Duke. Get well soon.

RDOG


'How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything'
T Harv Eker
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 16:19
Erskin: You said, "Fuhrer."

Regards

Mick Van Helsing.

RIP
Jaggedone
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Jaggedone

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 17:41
ist dass verboten?

Monkey nutter...
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 18:00
See what I mean?

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 20:39
I've never seen a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you anyhow
I'd rather see than be one.

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Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 20:42

seeing the ship going down,
said the mate with a frown:
'grab a buoy and get out while you can'

said the girl looking coy
'you're never a boy:
fuck off you're a dirty old man'

SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL
Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 20:43
there's a hell of a smell
in Dingly dell
the pixies are washing their socks

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Katarina Frogpond2
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Katarina Frogpond2

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 21:20
"Yes, lets stay British just because they had a concert to prove how great it is to be British" Says the half Scottish person on the border.

Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 7 Jun 12 21:58
Concert KF? When was that then?

Regards

Skoob.

RIP

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