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Charpa93
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Charpa93

Registered: 17 Jul 09

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Posted: 12 May 12 02:15 - Edited By: Charpa93, 12 May 12 02:16
Ok,I just had to share this. Here's my take. You know how the eye-for-an-eye law works, right? Steal something and they cut off your hand(s)? Well, what divine justice is this? Stealing something that may just eat your hands clean off your body. This is he epitome of irony.

Top Award for World's Dumbest Criminals

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Charpa

Charpa93
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Charpa93

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Posted: 12 May 12 14:51
Not to belabor the point, but does anyone care that I live in the same city where equipment possibly carrying flesh-eating bacteria is on the loose? How can I possibly eat out until the thieves and the stolen goods are apprehended?

Flesh-eating bacteria! I mean, the implications for a joke or two alone are worth the response are they not?

Charpa (the invisible one staring straight at you)


Ellie James
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Ellie James

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Posted: 12 May 12 15:35
Who steals things like that from hospitals? That's what office supply stores are for!

I do hope that no innocent people are hurt though. I have been reading about that student in GA....very sad.

Ellie

Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 12 May 12 15:46
Maybe it was said to put the shits up them so the thieves dump the goods somewhere and they can be recovered. I dont think a hospital would be allowed to leave such items in an unsecure area. Good idea though, scare the shit out of them.







Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Charpa93
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Posted: 12 May 12 16:00

Quote: armfeetandtoe

Maybe it was said to put the shits up them so the thieves dump the goods somewhere and they can be recovered. I dont think a hospital would be allowed to leave such items in an unsecure area. Good idea though, scare the shit out of them.







Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Not living in one of the highest intelligence areas of the country there ARM.

And Ellie, really, I agree, while this was posted about the same time as the girl in GA fights for her life, I was more going for the irony of stealing something that could literally punish you without ever seeing the inside of a police station.


churchmouse
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churchmouse

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Posted: 12 May 12 16:38

Nice in-depth piece of reporting there.

The photo took up more room than the text.

Still as you say, perhaps it's not the most intelligent place on planet Earth.




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
churchmouse
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churchmouse

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Posted: 12 May 12 16:40

Orlando does seem to have a number of very odd things living there.

I visited the place a few years ago and came across a five foot high mouse in a theme park.

Scared the hell out of me, I can tell you.




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
Charpa93
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Posted: 12 May 12 16:46

Quote: churchmouse

Orlando does seem to have a number of very odd things living there.

I visited the place a few years ago and came across a five foot high mouse in a theme park.

Scared the hell out of me, I can tell you.


Believe me, we have rats all over the place here, not just in the theme parks.

armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 12 May 12 19:18
Charpa! I thought Orlando was the Disney capitol of the United States Of America. Are you serious about the rats?

Am I walking down the wrong avenue?




Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Ellie James
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Ellie James

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Posted: 12 May 12 21:30
Disney has resident cats who prowl around their grounds at night to help kill off the rat population! I learned that last year in the Disney Travel Guide. (Seriously...)

Ellie

Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
IainB
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IainB

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Posted: 12 May 12 21:58
The stupidest thieves in the world are the several men who spent six months digging a tunnel under Salford precinct to steal from an ATM that at most will hold £5,000, not once, but twice - and miss the first time.

This means that if there were eight men doing the job, working at night between 10pm and 4am (when there was nobody in the precinct to hear them), they would have got a few hundred quid each for half a years back breaking work.

They could have earned more in one week doing the night shift at a McDonald's drive through.

S.M.D.H.

Iain

If 42 is the answer, the question is if 24 looks in the mirror, who does she see?
Charpa93
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Posted: 12 May 12 22:49

Quote: armfeetandtoe

Charpa! I thought Orlando was the Disney capitol of the United States Of America. Are you serious about the rats?

Am I walking down the wrong avenue?




Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Hi Arm...
I'm talking the two-legged kind of rats. This place is crawling with them, along with flesh-eating bacterial. Save your money, go elsewhere for holiday.



Charpa93
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Posted: 12 May 12 22:50

Quote: IainB

The stupidest thieves in the world are the several men who spent six months digging a tunnel under Salford precinct to steal from an ATM that at most will hold £5,000, not once, but twice - and miss the first time.

This means that if there were eight men doing the job, working at night between 10pm and 4am (when there was nobody in the precinct to hear them), they would have got a few hundred quid each for half a years back breaking work.

They could have earned more in one week doing the night shift at a McDonald's drive through.

S.M.D.H.

Iain


I agree, Iain. If half the criminals in this world would choose gainful employment instead of wasting so much time cooking up schemes, we'd all be a lot better off.

Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 13 May 12 07:20
*dashes into thread and hurls self onto sofa gasping from exertion*

Jesus H Christ woman! You didnt say you wanted us to reply to this thread!!! You said we had to "discuss it among ourselves"

I've been halfway round the bastard world visiting every single Spoof writer from John O' Groats to Johannesburg gauging opinion ffs!

Anyways, on a brighter note, everybody was very accommodating and they all agreed that the dozy fucks deserve everything they get, apart from that Canadian geezer who dont like me much and who told me to get my sorry ass off his land.

It gives me no pleasure to announce that I at first vomited and then folded like a girl

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Charpa93
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Posted: 13 May 12 17:14
Hold onto your pork pie hat, Danton. You're about to get a compliment...

You are insanely witty. You hit all the high notes a writer should. You take literal to new heights.

Now off with you. That was entirely too draining.

Charpa


Clive Danton
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Posted: 13 May 12 17:57
You might be 256lbs of chemically enhanced beefcake who can crack walnuts in the crook of your arm and who has the ability to launch yourself over skyscrapers with one contraction of your mighty quadriceps but your judgement is impeccable and your ability to spit out grudging plaudits through gritted teeth second to none!!!

Oh yes!

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Charpa93
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Posted: 13 May 12 18:16

Quote: Clive Danton

You might be 256lbs of chemically enhanced beefcake who can crack walnuts in the crook of your arm and who has the ability to launch yourself over skyscrapers with one contraction of your mighty quadriceps but your judgement is impeccable and your ability to spit out grudging plaudits through gritted teeth second to none!!!

Oh yes!


You've got it mostly right. Those who really know me will agree it is Brazilian nuts that I crack.


 
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