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armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
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Posted: 12 May 12 19:13
Comrades, Comrade Danton has blown fuse of soviet slum dwelling, he now look like western imperialist Al Jolson an will be arrest by secret police for being decedent.


Has comrades have bar of soap for him washing face?



Armski xxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
churchmouse
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churchmouse

Location: France
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Posted: 12 May 12 19:56

Soap ration is only issued every other Wednesday, but if Comrade Danton would like to pop down to the tractor factory we can have a go with the sandblasting machine.


Olga (she of the fragrant headscarf and alluring felt boots) tells me that there is a problem with the local heroic sewage treatment works and so everyone has to bravely clench their sphincters until next Tuesday.


Our progress shows the world our superior vision.




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 13 May 12 07:31
Comrades and members of glorious proletariat.

Is being worrying day today I am thinking comrades. Glorious family cat he is been missing for 2 days now. I am putting out saucer of water with the grindings of carrot tops to welcome him back to Apt #67 but he not come yet my heroic comrades.

On brighter side Comrade Wife she is making last night most delicious cabbage broth which for first time since start of glorious 5 Year Plan #456 is containing the small pieces of meat.

Once more our great communist state has seen fit to be providing great bounty for the struggling workers I am thinking.

Also it is most excellent news that heroic power station have promising that there is no more being power cu.....



THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 13 May 12 11:54 - Edited By: armfeetandtoe, 13 May 12 11:55
Comrades! is sorry story of missing cat belong to comrade Danton of slum #67 My wife, number two beetroot stripper of whole village has wearing new hat black fur with small medal from party elder Tomski! I like! Thank superior soviet uncles for restoring pow...



Armski xxxxxxxxxxx

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 14 May 12 11:59
My dear comrades

Is wonderful day in heroic Danski household as I have just donated kidney to glorious district hospital #43 in exchange for 5 kopeks and 1000th share in collective beetroot allotment.

Whole family will be eating well tonight I am thinking.

Still no sign of glorious cat.



THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 14 May 12 19:36
Comrades!

Soviet strong soldiers have search village for missing kidney of hospital #43 I no helping am going to comrade Churchski hovel to feast on Kidney pie and petrol!

Is niicceee!



Armski xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 15 May 12 05:34
Heroic Comrades

Is wonderful day for Danski family I am thinking my friends. Noble District Commissar he is writing to tell me that glorious boiler man he is coming to fix heating at end of September. Comrade Wife she is being very excited by this and spend 9 days queuing at Soviet Agent Provocateur shop and is purchasing the peek-a-boo crotchless overalls in case Comrade Boiler Man need hand with stop cock. She is also giving me 2 weeks cabbage ration money to travel to Kiev to buy tin of shoe polish on day our glorious comrade arrive.

I am being very lucky man to have such noble wife who will sacrifice all to heap further glories on our beloved Motherland.

Glorious cat must be working as unpaid Comrade Mouser in beetroot factory #39 I am thinking.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 16 May 12 01:27
Noble Tovarisch!

I like this frederick very much. Cannot join in as I am locked in Gulag#12 with cannibal man from Novo Sbyrsk.

Have to watch back. Muchly so at nyte. Him teeth grinding.

That plus power from glorious power plant #76 notoriously unreliab

RIP
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 16 May 12 05:55
Heroic Workers And Comrades

It is terrible beating I am getting last night from Comrade Wife who is telling me to shut the fuckski up about glorious cat.

She is telling me he in better place now.

He must have job as Comrade Mouser in Acronym thread I am thinking.

Onward my comrades! Let us stride together towards a glorious new dawn for the mighty Union Of Soviet Socialist Republ........

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
pinxit
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Posted: 16 May 12 07:37
KommRadz!!

My TrakToR is BroKeD.

Do any MeMBeRz ov GloRiOUZ KollektiF hav SpANNeR?

I haV poTaTo to swoP!!

LonG LIfe to MaRX and Hiz KommRaD BroTHeR HaRPo!!!

YouRZ in MaNNli HugGz aND waTery BoRSCHT,

AleXanDR SALtGinItZin
GuLAg BeRiA MassiF #101,
SiBeRia RU7



Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 16 May 12 07:56
^^^^^^ Tour De Forcski.

crying with laughter here.

WHERE????

Here Comrade.

Christski

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Ellis Ian Fields
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Ellis Ian Fields

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Posted: 16 May 12 09:13 - Edited By: Ellis Ian Fields, 16 May 12 09:13
Greetings to the mighty Soviet people, leaders of the international proletariat lighting the way to the socialist dawn! Salutations from your comrades at Chipping Campden CPGB!

We seek enlightenment and release from our bourgeois insular imperialist English bonds and look forward to visiting the land of milk and honey - tractor factory #23 and power station #17.

How many tins of sardines shall we bring for celebratory visit party?

Cannot imagine great advancing Soviet proletariat need anything capitalist scum can provide, but may we bring gifts?

No-one speaks English and everything's broken.
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 16 May 12 11:47
Comrades! Am I only village with gay comrade? He nice boy! I like! Have nice bottom end for fiddling!. We go for Sardine party at Comrade Ellis hovel #45 we dress in uniform of imperialist western traffic wardenings have much laugh an drink own piss for lack of Comrade Churchski turnip vodka....Think he been arrest by secret soviet glorius police......Maybe he help Comrade SKOOB with murderer in prison cell!

Thank you General Mikalov for restore power to our ho


Armski xxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 16 May 12 16:08
Darling British Imperialist Dog.

The glorious workers of the USSR will be being most delightful to welcome you to our prosperous land of milk and honey and while of course we are lacking for nothing here I am being most grateful if you are bringing new generator for heroic power station and for Comrade Wife she is asking for you to bring decadent copy of Playgirl magazine. She is asking most fervently that you can be bringing the one featuring capitalist jackal Brad Pitt with filthy imperialist nob hanging out.

Also can be bringing decadent western cat.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
churchmouse
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churchmouse

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Posted: 16 May 12 17:06

Local Commissionaire tells me that problem at the power station caused by the switching on of an additional 40 watt light bulb in the goat licensing office during busy periods.

A 7 watt light bulb has been ordered to replace it, and should be here within a month or two.

Due to the inconvenience caused, our glorious leadership has decreed that each household will get an additional three cubic meters of gas to compensate.

The gas will be available from the district gasometer on Thursday. All householders to bring their own bucket.



The world looks on in envy at the proud buttocks of our native donkeys.




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
Ellis Ian Fields
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Ellis Ian Fields

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Posted: 16 May 12 17:42 - Edited By: Ellis Ian Fields, 16 May 12 17:45
Greetings to Cliveski, Churchski and all glorious Soviet warriors of the proletariat!

Bad news! Due to petty bourgeois imperialist short-sighted plan, there is a transport strike in benighted capitalist lackey so-called United Kingdom! Nobody is going anywhere - long live the Transport and General Workers! (Bastards! Spoil my holiday).

Never Mind! Comrade - I have the copy of Playgirl for your comrade wife. Easy to see why she wants it - demonstrate to heroic Soviet women pathetic state of male genitalia in war-mongering capitalist west. Forward comrade wife's name and postal address and will send.

More bad news! Splitter Trotskyite grouping abandoned glorious Chipping Campden CPGB on eve of acquisition of generator from Yankee lickspittle power company and took low-loader with him. Fear not comrades, we are working on a new plan.

Forward the workers! Long Life To Comrade Stalin!

No-one speaks English and everything's broken.
pinxit
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Posted: 16 May 12 18:31
No sPanNeR?

No oNe wanT my PoTaTo?

Iz VERy NicZe. VERRy PrEeTTy.

LeXiE ThroW in hanDfUL SalT.

We haF ToNs ov SalTz heRe in SiBeRia KomMRAdZ!

SnOW tOo.

My TraCTor, sHe veRRrRRy kold.

BRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrR!!

YouR KomMRad in UnKLe JoE's HoliDayz KaMP,

AleXandr.

armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 16 May 12 19:09
Comrades! I have bucket of gas from soviet fathers! I spill some but Comrade Chuchski put in his pocket and give me when I return to hovel #45. I see comrade Dantonski wife, she under soviet tank with soldier. I ask, "What you do under tank of mighty Russian Army with mighty Russian soldier".

She is say, "I look for cat that lost soldier is help"

I say, "Then why is trousers of soldier round ankles?"

She say, "He have hot legs so give them stale soviet air".

Nice woman! I like a Dantonski wife! look for lost cat!

What was big explosion I hear near Chuchski house?

Armski xxxxxx



You aint seen me.....right
Charpa93
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Charpa93

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Posted: 16 May 12 19:33
Echo Tango Charlie! Echo Tango Charlie! Glorious Cat found. Repeat. Cat found. Dead. Repeat. Dead.

Losing signa......




armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 16 May 12 19:41
Comrades! Locking doors all of windows close! Have heard radio message from American spy! I listen for Soviet doctrine programme for betterment of communist mind an then hear Yankie say, "Howdy, have founded cat it now shot with Clint Eastwood gun in my holster" Spy must be found!

Tune in radio befoe power cu.....



Armski xxx

You aint seen me.....right
Charpa93
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Charpa93

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Posted: 16 May 12 19:52
crackle...crackle..zizzle...pop...
Damned Chinese-made radi....



Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 May 12 05:38
My Most Darlingest Heroes Of The Great Struggle

Is grave and worrying times in Danski household I am thinking. Today during 3 minute water and sawdust break at heroic tractor plant, Comrade Armski he is telling me of infiltration by filthy, decadent, American dogs into our beloved Soviet paradise. Already he is shooting glorious wife and children to be on safe side. He is shining example to us all my brave comrades.

Thought I spotted heroic cat on way home but it was starving child lying in gutter covered with rat pelt blanket. The glorious Soviet youth of today don't know they're born I am thinking.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 17 May 12 05:56
Beloved Comrades

Strange and worrying happenings in idyllic Soviet Apt Bloc #57 this eveninks my dearest fellow workers. New neighbour she is moving in to beautiful Apt #78 next door and is knocking here to be borrowing cup of turnip dust to make nourishing broth she is saying.

She is very old, white-haired babushka that has seen many beetroot harvests I am thinking but she has body of glorious Ukrainian hammer thrower and is wearing the Desperate Housewives t shirt beneath overalls. Comrade wife she is saying she look like filthy American WWF wrestling hyena Hulksi Hogan.

She is asking me about day at glorious tractor factory and asking if I have copy of plans for world beating MK XVII TrAKtoR.

Am going to be calling Comrade Armski to ask for advising on best great leap forward I am thinking

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 17 May 12 17:40
Great people of Yugoslavamungia! Celebrate is coming, power station has been fixed and now get lot of electr



Armskixxxx

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 21 May 12 15:34
Heroic Comrades And Defenders Of The USSR

Is being more troubling times for Danski family tonight I am thinking. Last night I call at Apt #37 to be borrowing cardboard boxing from Comrade Armski to make new shoes for heroic Danski childrens but no answer when it is banging on door I am doing.

I am hoping all is well and Comrade Mrs Armski hasn't sold his other kidney to be buying new outfit to be wearing to glorious galoshes factory dinner and dance this weekends.

Still no sign of beetroot powder ration.

Onwards my glorious comrades! Already the imperialist dogs are scattering before the march of our victorious proletariat heroes!

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM

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