This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / General Discussion / Comrades!


[This topic is LOCKED]

3 Pages - [1] 2 3 »
AuthorMessage
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 8 May 12 19:48




I was at a bit of a loose end, so I thought that I'd try communism for a month.

As such, I've moved into a badly built concrete flat, and have taken a job painting patriotic slogans on the wall of the local tractor factory.

Marching together for the glorious Motherland.




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 8 May 12 19:51


Comrade-Sister-Madame Churchmouse pointed out that the milkman is self-employed and therefore a filthy capitalist pig.

We ambushed him yesterday morning and fire-bombed his milk float.

That'll teach him.



Shoelace workers of the world untie.




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 8 May 12 19:54


The bloody milkman hasn't turned up today (typical imperialist lackey) so I had to go down to the collective farm for a jug of milk. When I got there they told me that it was my turn to shovel the shit out of the pig pens.

I'm honoured that I've helped to move our country forward by shovelling shit for 15 hours.


Long live the revolution.




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 8 May 12 19:56 - Edited By: churchmouse, 8 May 12 19:57
Great new comrades!

It's our turn for the village bath-plug so we won't stink of pig shit any-more.


Our brave workers march triumphantly into the future.

And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 8 May 12 20:00


Comrade-brother Branovich at the tractor factory was awarded the 'Order of the nut-tightener First class" today, which means that he gets an extra bottle of vodka on his daily ration. - The bastard!

Not only that but the bloody Wartburg broke down and I had to walk home.



Forward to prosperity!




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 8 May 12 20:04


It's the 'Miss Tractor Factory Worker' Competition today, and Comrade-sister-madame Churchmouse has dug out her sexiest boiler suit for the occasion, and has been practising heroic poses.

I hope she wins as the first prize is a loaf of bread and a pair of trousers, and the arse is hanging out of mine.

Still no sign of the milkman.


Advance over the twitching bodies of the capitalist scum.




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 8 May 12 22:17
Comrade, lert me painting your wegon with glorius colour of Stalin and Lennin, Lennin great singer of Beatles music band
when taking drugs of Imperialist Jamaica! Hev bowl of Ruski shenshika! Like comrade SKOOB of gulag 24.


Dosh ve dan yer mate



Love as always

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 9 May 12 15:35
Brave Comrades and heroes of the Soviet Union.

Today I walk home from work and I see my wife standing in street with empty shopping bag looking confused.

"What is wrong Comrade Wife?" I ask her.

She look in empty bag and say "Comrade Husband I wanted to go shopping but I cant remember if I'm on my way or just coming back"

Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 9 May 12 17:32
Comrade Danton, your wife is coming and is going, very westernised democratic movement, watch out, cultural police of mighty Soviet government for the protection of communist ideals and in memory of Stalin will arrest her they will.

Comrade Churchmouse was arrest for whistling tune of BBC socialist worldwide radio programme while delivering glorius communist local Dorking newspaper for the betterment of peoples of Soviet Union and Yurgmenikstan.


Slivivitch Slenko
Block 4 C
Ordalogzig

You aint seen me.....right
Jaggedone
This user is offline Warning: Sharp edges
Jaggedone

Location: Back under the bridge!
Registered: 8 Apr 09

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 9 May 12 19:03
I used to travel regularly through the GDR, bloody Russian Tanks with their no lights!

Monkey nutter...
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 9 May 12 19:37


Much rejoicing in the village tonight as it's been announced that it's turnips for dinner again.

Also the bloke from the state garage tells me that I should get a new set of spark plugs for the Moskovich by mid November.



Death to the evil capitalist counter-revolutionaries!





And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 10 May 12 05:28
My dear comrades and heroes of the USSR

-51 deg in Soviet Apartment Bloc #56 today. Have set fire to glorious family cat to melt ice in toilet.

Today is National Soviet Cabbage Soup Day and Comrade wife will be collecting extra cabbage ration to make glorious iron panfull just like Comrade Mother used to send me in gulag when I serve 46 years down salt and vinegar mine for listening to decadent shipping forecast on filthy imperialist BBC World Service.

Death to all Capitalist lackeys! Death to them and their painted Jezebels and nightly showings of An Audience With Lulu!

Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 10 May 12 17:13
Comrades and heroic workers of the glorious Soviet Union.

Is bad news I'm thinking from tractor factory tonight. Comrades Inchski and Armski have been seized by secret police for stealing cheese from glorious Soviet mousetrap to feed children.

Is long stay in gulag for them I'm thinking. Comrade Wife think they should be hanged by neck in town square for outrage against XVII 5 Year Plan and against blessed memory of our Dear Comrade Stalin.

Is wrong time of month I'm thinking.



Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 10 May 12 17:41
Comrades Dantee, Churmouski and Inchski, the police of soviet secret police communist Yugoslavamungia Gulag 23 have forgive our cheese stealing of glorius mousetrap!

Tonight, we celebrate freedom with hot toenail soup, factory floor dust pie with slivervitch wine. Come you please and enjoy!



Armski xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 10 May 12 19:23

Glorious news Comrade Armski.

I will bring to the feast 3 herrings that I have been given as a workers bonus after badly welding together four tractors more than my normal quota.


There'll be dancing in the streets of Valavoskistalinroumazabad tonight.


Onto the sunlit uplands of our glittering future!





And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 10 May 12 19:41
(That made me roar with laughter mate)


Happinesses for Churchski an he three herrings! We will do the "Dos ver dan yu mate" in red square because blue soviet for peoples learning square is shut! Happinesses comrades!


Armski

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 10 May 12 20:04

Oh Bollockskev!

Late for work at the tractor factory this morning due to the horse that tows the bus breaking down.

No chance of hitting my quota so won't get a disc of cheap metal on a colourful ribbon or a certificate in a Bakelite frame.

Still it did give me a chance to ogle the women working in the turnip fields while we waited for another horse to be issued from central casting.

Those head scarves...Those wooden clogs... Whey-heh!


Our glorious piano-accordion sits astride the world!




And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 10 May 12 21:29
Commrades! Is it truth? Is Churchski getting promote of Soviet glorius government?! He is get new title in line with article 20000 dicto 15 of communist manual regard ladies in fields for the picking of turnips!

He must be now, "Chairman Mowse" of Chinese peoples medal of good communist conduct and learned red book reader!


Lovski

Armski xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
churchmouse
This user is offline Writer
churchmouse

Location: France
Registered: 23 Sep 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 11 May 12 19:05


District prostitute number 63 has told me that this Saturday night is the annual piglet greasing competition at the collective farm. Not only that but it's free beetroot juice for everyone who brings their own piglet. So it looks like it's going to be fun all the way.


Turnips for dinner again tonight.


Our powerful folk dancing strikes terror into the hearts of our enemies.







And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 11 May 12 19:32
"District prostitute"

Sorry guys but I just let a little bit of wee escape

Goodnight comrades.

I'll join you in the struggle tomorrow boys

Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 11 May 12 20:06
District prostitute 63! She give me glorius clap of Soviet VD, I like! till I find she man from Slovenzich. My Grandmother number one prostitute in my village in Yerkmenistan! She charge one Copek for two days! Comrade Churchski, I vill attend you party of beetroot drinkings and have of a merry time! I can video camera for the operation of manchine, record and watch later.

Doss Van Dan Her

Armski xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Inchcock
This user is offline Writer
Inchcock

Location: Nottingham, England
Registered: 18 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 11 May 12 20:42
I am to thanking Comrade Armski.

Will I but attend only if the Proletariatski manager release me will from duties as Lada spotter, and Vodka export methanol content tester/taster.

Happy potatoe skin festival to you.

Ivaninchskijust

Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 12 May 12 05:41
Heroic Comrades.

Is red letter day for family today I'm thinking. Son #2 has informed on Comrade Wife to secret police for turning down sound on television during speech by Comrade President and playing decadent, imperialist, Elvis Presley singing Loving Me Tender.

Is many months in Lubyanka for her I am thinking comrades and rightly so. I am leaving you now my fellow heroes of the Soviet Union as glorious power station is cutting off electricity in a few hou..........

Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!
armfeetandtoe
This user is offline Writer
armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
Registered: 11 Jun 10

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Email
Posted: 12 May 12 12:41
Comrades!

Is darkness since glorius Soviet fathers cut power to save much monies for grand army parade. I have save body fat from tin bath and make candles if you want light you hovel.



Armski xxxxxxxxxxxxx

You aint seen me.....right
Clive Danton
This user is offline Writer
Clive Danton

Location: London
Registered: 29 Nov 11

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 12 May 12 17:54
Comrades and Heroes Of The Soviet Socialist Republics.

Glorious Soviet power station has now restored supply and so once more comrades we ca..........

Just leave it. Let it go...IT'S OVER!

3 Pages - [1] 2 3 »
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum

Who is online?

There are 3 registered users currently online: 1 is active , 2 are currently inactive .

Users online:


Profile Featured Writer

Bryan McManus
Bryan McManus
Joined: 22 February 2010
Stories Written: 13
71 readers are online right now!

Go to top