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armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 18:42
True, They did not land on the moon.
True, The Titanic was sabotaged.
False, The world did not end in 2000
True, The Wombles are real


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Chris James
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Chris James

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 18:57
False fullstop period

same goes for theories

-=Rumours of my death are completely accurate=-
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 19:31
Patrick Moore actually comes from outer space and if you play Helter Skelter by The Beatles sideways it says "Patrick Moore's from space"

Absolutely true that is. Geezer down the pub told me.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 19:56
Napoleon Solo out of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is appearing on Coronation Street as Roy Cropper's mum's music teacher and potential love interest.

False. That's just too ludicrous to be true.

Kermit the Frog shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand in the Balkans.

False. Kermit shot him in the head.

Kenny Dalglish owns three bloodhounds, each of which look remarkably like him. (In a doggy lookalike way.)

True.

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Skoob.

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churchmouse
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churchmouse

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 20:14


Conspiracy theories are all true.

In that they are theories that exist, rather than things which don't exist which is why we have heard of them.

Conspiracy theories that don't exist (virtual conspiracy theories) haven't been thought of yet, but when someone, somewhere does think up one it automatically becomes a true theory rather than a thought that hasn't happened.

Pint please Audrey.

And some crisps for the dog.



And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

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Posted: 30 Jan 12 21:28
All conspiracy theories are false. It's all a conspiracy by the powers that be to keep us from asking the real questions.

I'll tell you who's false. The barber who shaves all and only those who don't shave themselves, that's who.

I blame the Pope. And Albert Tatlock. They're in cahoots. Nobody but a conspirator would wear a cahoot.





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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 31 Jan 12 06:45
The Duke Of Edinburgh shot Princess Diana from the pillion seat of a speeding motorcycle in that tunnel in Paris and then went for a skinful on the strength of it with The Queen Mother

He also made an unsuccessful attempt on her life a year earlier when he flung a 3 bar electric fire into her bath while she was watching the rugby world cup.

If you play Helter Skelter by The Beatles at 15000 rpm you can clearly hear the words "Bollocks! I'll get you one day you popular, doe-eyed, minefield bothering bitch!"

FACT!



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armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 31 Jan 12 15:41
FACT:

Coronation street is a real street in Manchester my uncle from Eastenders went to live after leaving Albert Square.

FACT:

Albert Square is a real square in London my Auntie went to live after leaving Coronation street in Manchester.

FACT:

Elephants still have big ears because Noddy will not pay the ransom.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 1 Feb 12 16:17
You know that Sean Bean out of Sharpe? His grandad was shot at dawn for cowardice during World War I. Apparently when the whistle went to go over the top he hid in the bogs and told his commanding officer he couldn't come out as he had "a bit hanging"

Absolutely true that is and if you play Helter Skelter by The Beatles upside down it clearly says "Sean Bean's grandad's a milky arseole"

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
Chris James
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Chris James

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Posted: 1 Feb 12 16:26

Quote: Clive Danton

The Duke Of Edinburgh shot Princess Diana from the pillion seat of a speeding motorcycle in that tunnel in Paris and then went for a skinful on the strength of it with The Queen Mother

He also made an unsuccessful attempt on her life a year earlier when he flung a 3 bar electric fire into her bath while she was watching the rugby world cup.

If you play Helter Skelter by The Beatles at 15000 rpm you can clearly hear the words "Bollocks! I'll get you one day you popular, doe-eyed, minefield bothering bitch!"

FACT!


I effin well knew you were Queen Mudder masqeurading as a Pearly King

-=Rumours of my death are completely accurate=-
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 1 Feb 12 18:22
Chris James is really, Chris James, and I can prove it.
Ask him his name and he will deny it!
Or was that Pol Pot? Anyway, I think its true, or maybe not?


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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 3 Feb 12 06:34
You know that Professor Stephen Hawking out of A Brief History Of Time? Well back in the 70s he used to play for Chelsea reserves until he went down with that Motor Neurone Disease and if you play Helter Skelter by The Beatles inside out, it clearly says "Oh no! I cant believe Professor Stephen Hawking hit the fucking post from there! What a cunt!"

Absolutely true that is. My brother in law told me.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 3 Feb 12 16:57
Hitler was really Gracie Fields in uniform.

If you read Mien Kampf backwards while listening to "Helter Skelter" By the Beatles, you can hear him singing, "Ein Zally! Ein Zally! Unt Pride of zer alley!"

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Katarina Frogpond2
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Katarina Frogpond2

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Posted: 3 Feb 12 18:43
Wombles.


armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 3 Feb 12 23:25
Frog, you cant put Wombles.....And leave it there.
What do you really know? I knew there was more to you.
Are you a Wimbledon Womple? Please give us a sign!


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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 8 Feb 12 06:47
You know that Jon Snow out of Channel 4 News? He invented the full toss in cricket. Ian Botham told me that in a little drinker in Cripplegate and he should know!

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armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 8 Feb 12 18:29
The Titanic sank, because it was a rowing boat, disguised as an ocean going liner. The Ulster ship builders nicked the money and went on a pub crawl. Realising they would end up in prison, they nailed huge sheets of steel to the side of Paddy O'Rileys rowing boat. On the maiden voyage, a Mrs Plumb started to do the fandango on the dance floor, and went through the bottom of the boat. Say no more.




Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 20 Feb 12 19:51
you know that Nicky Campbell out of BBC 5 Live? He's only got one bollock on account of he lost one in an accident during woodwork at school. None of his kids are his apparently. All adopted or the result of sperm donors.

In fact if you play Helter Skelter by The Beatles while pushing your finger up a gibbon's arse it clearly says "Nicky Campbell cant blow his cocoa"

Absolutely true that is. Dave Lee Travis told me.

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM
armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

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Posted: 20 Feb 12 20:45
The London Underground system is a huge Welsh miners holiday camp. Honest! I met this Welsh bloke named Davith on the platform at Earls Court station, and he told me, all welsh miners spend thier holidays on the circle line. If they have the money, they go first class and travel up and down the Piccadilly line.

If you play "Helter Skelter" by the beatles, on 250rpm, you can here the stations being read out in Welsh.

You aint seen me.....right
Clive Danton
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Clive Danton

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Posted: 13 Mar 12 19:53
You know that George Clooney out of ER? He's got a wooden lip. A mate of mine who's a chippy on the film sets told me that. He said that when George used to go into makeup my mate used to get called in to sand down his lip and make sure it was nice and smooth for when he had to snog that Nurse Abi who got ideas above her station and started training to be a doctor.

In fact if you play Helter Skelter by The Beatles whilst taking the chequered flag ,0010 secs in front of Sam Hornish Jnr in The Indianapolis 500 it clearly says "George Clooney gave Jennifer Aniston splinters in her Jack and Danny"

THE SATIRIST'S SAFE HOUSE.....IT AINT HALF SSHITE MUM

 
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