Discussion Forum

I'm clutching at straws here, but what it is, right, is that as I'm going through me mid life crisis, and me and the wife get increasingly distant in our relationship, I'm seriously thinking about taking up fishing.

She's always accusing me of flirting and trying to knob other women, (which I wouldn't dream of doing) so in a last ditch effort to save our faltering marriage, I've considered taking up fishing.

To be honest, I'm not all that impressed. Be different if you could catch cod, or trout, or salmon or something, but round our way the fish are all really small, and they've got five eyes, two heads and they glow in the dark.

You can't really eat the fuckers, but a mate - who is a keen fisherman - told me that it's a battle of wits. Man v Fish.

I wasn't impressed by that. I mean, it's not like you're playing chess against them. And they can't be all that smart if they try to eat maggots on a fucking big barbed hook.

So, is it worth bothering? Or should I just stick with the chippy and the battered versions?

Open to suggestions

Skoob.

Take up macrame, mate. Far safer.

I've never heard of going fishing to save a marriage. I hate to fish. It bores me, but I suppose it could be used as a sort of therapy, as long as it's not "noodling" because that seems to take more effort.

According to a story I saw on the BBC, fishing in the UK should be a lot easier. It seems that global warming and climate change are making the UK fish happier and more willing to get caught and eaten.

Ellie

Haven't been coarse fishing since I was twelve years old..

And nowadays, I'd never sit on a cold river/lake/canal bank from October through til May..

Even if asked...

But on a warm dry day, I'd do it again like a shot..

Can't explain why Skoobie..

Give it a go..

Cheers

CJ

Coarse fishing?

Does that mean you swear at the fish in a coarse manner?

As in; (avert eyes here if easily offended)

"Come on you fucker! Suck on me maggot?"

Oh, I'm all confused again...

For a change.

Skoob.*

* Note - Don't encourage the daft bastard, Anne.

....jigging, trolling,bottom fishing,fly fishing ....much like dating in yer youth..( if you can remember)...it's all in the presentation of the bait..the biggest worm doesn't aways earn the catch it's how you bait the hook..
A good thing in your case, so they tell me...plus you can lie about it just to stretch the point...Doc tells me he does it all the time!

Sushi, however, is an acquired taste according to Canadian folklore..
..and mind you, when bottom fishing you're liable to attract CRABS..

...and always 'match the hatch' when fly fishing..but not in a gay way..

...and don't forget to be humanitarian when trying to reel in one of those comely Geen Peace advocates. ''Free Willie'....you'll both feel better after this selfless act of catch and release!

More on Orcas, sperm whales and Blowfish as we git it..

Hmmm

I quite like fish fingers. Not the ghastly grey things, but the ones with proper fish. Nice on a sandwich. I've gone off fishing. Looks too much like hard work, and I'm not the most patient individual on the planet.

Besides, I just read that fishing is officially the world's most dangerous sport. More people get killed fishing than doing any other sport. It makes sense I suppose - from those crab fishermen on 'Deadliest Catch' ploughing through thirty foot waves in sub-zero temperatures, to those unfortunates who get their rods caught on power lines, and those who get swept away in flash floods, or fall out of boats...

Maybe not such a great idea after all.

I'll have a beer and think about this...

Regards

Skoob.

To fish or not to fish,
that is the question...


I could finish that..

Nah, sooner open some Merlot..

I fished the River Bain once when I was a kid in Lincolnshire.

All I caught was a cold.

I fished the mouth of the Brisbane River once a couple of years ago.

All I caught was a 3 meter Bull Shark.

Give me a cold any day.

Bit big for a sandwich, Sid.

I'll stick with the chippy.

Regards

Skoob.

As I have said to many, catching a fish is not wholely the point of fishing, though it is a welcome event.

Doc

Now you're stretching the point.

Regards

Skoob.

True this. As a kid I was on holiday with my parents and brother (somewhere in Cornwall). Lots of rain. Dad drove us all to some seaside harbour wall and we dangled our lines over it (still sitting in the dry car). Suddenly I felt my line tighten. "I've caught one!" I cried out. I had a bit of a fight to reel it in, and when the line came over the top of the wall and into the car there was a piece of salmon stuck on the hook instead of the maggot dad had put on it. It was raining so heavily that none of us got out of the car to look over the wall. That's the only salmon I've ever caught - someone below the other side of the wall must have seen my line dangling down and replaced the maggot with a bit of salmon from his sandwiches. Dad just started up the car and drove off.

....Ahaaaa! The old 'Bait 'n Switch' a scam perfected in the the Gentleman's Wing of the Original Oasis Bar and Grill where Doc Nicholas exhibited all his and Erskine's specimens...although some said they looked like "piss."

Quote skoob:

"Come on you fucker! Suck on me maggot"

That's probably where you went wrong with the missus.

Why not send her fishing instead?

Don't pick on me Lynton.

Not today.

Please.

Respectfully

Skoob.

Fish can be tasty in more ways than one.
When i was painting the sea and living in Cornwall i used to go out on the boats with the fisherman in Newlyn.
Artists and Fisherman are both Existential soles (npi).
Once, after a lot of brandy and coke (not cola!) i took part in a Monfish orgy.
Yes, they are the chosen clunge for fisherman to shag.
Not great lookers but very moist, with no questions asked and no emotional baggage and, most importantly, no nagging.
I kid you not!
When you have had a skinful, a Monkfish is well decent.

The UK gang will have to make sure you attend their pre-Christmas party.

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Quote: victor nicholas

The UK gang will have to make sure you attend their pre-Christmas party.

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....drinks on the Spoof...but who's bringing the sheep dip?

I think they are using fish.

Morse is the fisherman of the bunch

....ahhhh....crab dip! Pray it's not catching.

...don't overlook ice fishing...nothing like snatching those pesky onions from
The bottom of that Gibson on the rocks...!

I've heard you need an ice hole for ice fishing.

Apparently there are a lot of them about, what with global warming and the recession.

Seems some places, like, Iceland and Greenland have a fair sprinkling of ice-holes, but they appear to be proliferating around McGillicuddy's Bar and Grill, but as I have no idea where that is and could care less, I'll get me coat.

Don't know why I bothered coming out (Not in a gay way.) All I've seen so far is waffle and another paranoid Eleanor Rigby rant.

T'internet's gone to the bloody dogs I tell you.

Regards

Skoob.

Tread carefully...walls have ears...or sausages...

I've seen pictures of Inuit ladies in the middle of the last century using a metal rod seven feet long with a widened chisel tip to chip through two metres of ice to make a hole for fishing.

Not sure what the men were doing, smoking perhaps.