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Bureau
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Bureau

Registered: 6 Sep 08

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Posted: 22 Jan 11 16:02
How Britain Lost the Colonies:


British troops marched in lines, dressed in bright red while the colonists hid behind bushes, up trees and used hog shit camouflage.

Snuff sneezes always gave away British positions.

George Washington on steroids!

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Philbert of Macadamia
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Philbert of Macadamia

Location: Pizmo Beach, Pennsyltucky
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Posted: 22 Jan 11 17:53 - Edited By: Philbert of Macadamia, 22 Jan 11 17:54
British tea breaks in the middle of a battle.

There is intelligent life in outer space!
Then why do the UFO's not land on the Earth?
As I said, there is intelligent life in outer space!
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
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Posted: 22 Jan 11 17:59
Scones!

It was the scones I tell you.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Lady Godiva
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Location: Canada and The Spoof
Registered: 22 Feb 10

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Posted: 22 Jan 11 18:28
Crumpets were the problem I tell you...crumpets!

LG

armfeetandtoe
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armfeetandtoe

Location: West Sussex
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Posted: 22 Jan 11 19:01
We forgot to pay the rent!





Arm xxx

You aint seen me.....right
Lynton
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Lynton

Location: Paris
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Posted: 22 Jan 11 19:40
Rodent ulcers!!

Watching paint dry
Philbert of Macadamia
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Philbert of Macadamia

Location: Pizmo Beach, Pennsyltucky
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Posted: 22 Jan 11 20:15 - Edited By: Philbert of Macadamia, 22 Jan 11 20:16
After the Boston Tea Party the British rode the Boston M.T.A (Underground) and like Charlie proceeded to get lost looking for Charing Cross station.

There is intelligent life in outer space!
Then why do the UFO's not land on the Earth?
As I said, there is intelligent life in outer space!
Lady Godiva
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Location: Canada and The Spoof
Registered: 22 Feb 10

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Posted: 22 Jan 11 20:33
Yup! They got LOST coz MAN was leading them....

LG

Bureau
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Bureau

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Posted: 22 Jan 11 21:08

Mohicans helped colonists right down to their last man!

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

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Posted: 22 Jan 11 21:29 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 22 Jan 11 21:33
Including the semi-colonists; who later moved to Canada.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
churchmouse
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churchmouse

Location: France
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Posted: 22 Jan 11 21:50
I'm not sure that Britain did lose the colonies. I'm sure that they are still in the same place where we left them.

When you leave your car in the car park and walk away from it you haven't lost it unless someone pinches it while you're away. In which case you don't know that you've lost it until you come back for it.

I personally blame the Belgians, but only because they rarely get blamed for things.

And as the baby rabbit of hope emerges into the soft sunlight of happiness to be confronted with the double barrels of reality
Gail Farrelly
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Location: NY, USA
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Posted: 22 Jan 11 22:13
Big-mouth Paul Revere just couldn't stop shouting, "The British Are Coming."




Morse
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Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

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Posted: 22 Jan 11 22:24

Quote: Gail Farrelly

Big-mouth Paul Revere just couldn't stop shouting, "The British Are Coming."


...and they made too much noise when they did...!

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
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Posted: 22 Jan 11 23:00
That's crap that is.

We gave up on the Americas when old Ma Shipton prophesied the coming of George W Bush.

And poor old Churchill - he somehow knew that McDonald's, Bill O'Reilly and The Osmonds were coming.

Harold Wilson once prophesied Michael Jackson in a delerium phase of influenza, but his thoughts were ruled out by MI6 as "highly improbable."

Give us some lager and we'll fight you on the boardwalk, down by the sea, and we'll star in the football grounds.

Or something

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Bureau
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Bureau

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Posted: 22 Jan 11 23:03

Actually, the Beatles took us back in 1964 British Invasion.

Now it's the Chinese.

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 23 Jan 11 00:02
In all fairness, you did give us the Marx Brothers, Some Like It Hot, The Out Of Towners, The Wizard Of Oz, Ed McBain, Hill Street Blues and The Simpsons.

Marvin Gaye, the Temps, Gil Scott Heron, Bureau, Abel, Catain Morse, and John Peurach...

So all in all, it ain't such a bad deal.

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 23 Jan 11 00:26
Oh, and some ships and boats and planes and a few bob and a whole bunch of people to fight the Austrian fella with the little moustache.

You'll do for me.

Skoob

RIP
Lynton
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Lynton

Location: Paris
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Posted: 23 Jan 11 01:02
We only gave up India when we finally got the secret recipe for curry

Watching paint dry
Bureau
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Bureau

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Posted: 23 Jan 11 01:28 - Edited By: Bureau, 23 Jan 11 01:28

Quote: Skoob1999

In all fairness, you did give us the Marx Brothers, Some Like It Hot, The Out Of Towners, The Wizard Of Oz, Ed McBain, Hill Street Blues and The Simpsons.

Marvin Gaye, the Temps, Gil Scott Heron, Bureau, Abel, Catain Morse, and John Peurach...

So all in all, it ain't such a bad deal.

Regards

Skoob.





Skoob, you an Ed McBain fan?

Fat Ollie: Ah Yes!

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 23 Jan 11 02:35
Bureau

Read the vast bulk of them when I was at school or shortly thereafter.

Yes, marvellous writer - enjoyed his Evan Hunter stuff too.

Vastly underrated American writer who achieved worldwide success over decades, quite frequently because of what he didn't say.

The master of understatement. (RIP Sincerely)

Got his inspiration apparently from hanging out with friends at a Manhattan police station house.

Inspired Hill Street Blues, amongst other popular films.

Always loved his writing style - the less is more school.

Influenced me a great deal - although I wouldn't think he'd be too worried about having that on his CV.

One of the best ever.

Now - that Stephen King chappie - has he gone off the boil lately? Or is it me?

Answers on the back of a £50 note to Skoob@theSpoof.com.

As ever

Skoob.

RIP
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 23 Jan 11 02:41
The Deaf Man.

RIP
Mikethelad
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Mikethelad

Location: Brussels, Belgium
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Posted: 23 Jan 11 14:54
It was a choice
1. Keep Hong Kong, nice weather, great food
2. Keep USA, rubbish food covered in cheese and too big to vacuum every week.



If it isn't fixed then break it.............
Bureau
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Bureau

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Posted: 23 Jan 11 16:22


Ben Franklin planting illegal metal minefields for lightning to strike.

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
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Posted: 23 Jan 11 19:12
Well they still have the Isle of Wight and parts of Cornwall.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Philbert of Macadamia
This user is offline Historical nutcase
Philbert of Macadamia

Location: Pizmo Beach, Pennsyltucky
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Posted: 23 Jan 11 19:25
General George Washington had three aces and General Lord Cornwallis had only one King.

There is intelligent life in outer space!
Then why do the UFO's not land on the Earth?
As I said, there is intelligent life in outer space!

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